Customer Reviews

When Bad Things Happen to Good People: 20th Anniversary Edition, with a New Preface by the Author

5 star:		(45)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

After the recent loss of my infant daughter, I was searching for answers and trying hard to stay connected to God and continue to believe in Him. Being faced with the death of an otherwise perfectly healthy baby it was very difficult to believe that

1. God is a good, loving God.
2. God is a just/fair God.
3. God controls everything.

How could God be fair and good when he would take the life of an innocent child? Why, if God controls everything, and is good, would he not spare this precious life? Why, if God is fair, would he "punish" this little girl with months of pain and suffering before her ultimate death?

For anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one, particularly a child, this is a powerful book. Rabbit Kushner has addressed these painful questions with clarity and love for God. He uses the bible to back up his analysis and tells his story in a manner that everyone can understand. He also speaks to the horrible things that so many people, who think they are helping, say to those who have lost a loved one.

What matters is not so much if one agrees with Rabbi Kushner's analysis, it matters that he puts forth a way to stay close to God while working through your grief. At this time, I choose to agree with Rabbi Kushner's analysis. For all those who wish to tell me it is incorrect, I know they do not have my best interest at heart. Staying close and connected to God and not turning from him must be my goal. If I cannot at this time reconcile what I thought to be true with my reality, and it causes me to turn away from God or question God, nothing else matters. Anything that can help me continue love and give praise to God while I continue to work through my grief is valuable.

I commend Rabbi Kushner and consider this book a must read for anyone who has suffered a loss.

Before reading this book, the first thing that came to mind, as I noticed the title was, "They find a way to turn things around."

I had no idea that this book would be such a wonderful book about accepting life, on life's terms.

But first, let's look at what causes bad things:

1. The laws of nature
2. Chaos
3. An act of nature
4. Human choices
5. Self-punishment when things go wrong
6. Accidents
7. Expectations of others that can't be fulfilled
8. Denial of emotional immaturity
9. Our reactions to our own hurt and anger

This book teaches readers how to accept any kind of loss as part of the human condition.

This book also tells us that God doesn't cause accidents, sickness or disasters.

When Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, they chose to live a life of choices, as knowledge is about choices. They were no longer in the category of animals. And with those choices God gave humanity choices, feelings and a need to congregate with other human beings, to affirm who we are.

God is here to build strength, courage, and a sense of human connection - when we are ready to ask ourselves, "Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?" And, "Whom does this suffering serve?"

"Let me sugggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly. But we can give them a meaning."

It is a book to be read over and over again, to become more compassionate, as compassion is the language of God.

I read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" when it first came out five years ago. At that time, I found it interesting. But it was not until I lived through the deaths of two of my closest friends and I reread Kushner's classic that the book hit me with full force.
Two recent books also were important to me during this dark period. I recommend all three of these books for anyone going through difficult times:
During the early summer, two of my best friends, both women in their 40's, died of breast cancer. I searched for books that would offer me help with my grieving, and a perspective on what I was going through. Most of the books I found were long on faith and hope, and short on thought. And then I discovered two books, both recently published, that saved my life. These were Harold Kushner's "The Lord is My Shepherd" and Dennis Shulman's "The Genius of Genesis." I thank Harold Kushner and Dennis Shulman for giving me a way of understanding life and death in a broader context.
All three of these books tenderly guided me through my valley of the shadow of death and toward healing, and, for this, I am grateful.

Herold Kushner's WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE has almost the same questions that I had had in my mind when I lost my beloved wife a year ago in an accident, when she was hardly 28. I found this life very cruel, ruthless, and totally meaningless. As long as sufferings prevail in this world, God has no role to play here. Only those who do not know what a suffering is in reality, and those who fear of losing their fortune (whatever little they have), end up prasing Him "Kind & Loving". Kushner's attempt to protect God even amidst the unexplainable sufferings amounts to ridiculing the pains of a sufferer. While I don't endorse H.K's "God-protecting" views, I respect him for his daring questions about sufferings and God's role as a lame-duck/silent spectator.

Dr. Kushner was well-intentioned in his authorship of this book to be sure. However, his basic conclusion is that God is either all-powerful or all-loving. Since bad things happen, God isn't all powerful.

The theology is faulty. As Christ was fully God, and still fully human, so God can be loving and powerful without losing either attribute. God's power never works outside His perfect will, and sometimes that will permits evil.

A much better book on endurance through adversity is "With Joseph in the University of Adversity". This book will answer most questions Kushner poses from a much more conservative and scriptural point of view.

This gem of a self-help book offers real comfort for those who are wrestling with the eternal dilemma of why disasters--especially the death of a loved one--happen. Sincerely humane
this book suggests how to survive emotionally, once the shock wears off. Most of us are guilty of speaking the typical funeral platitudes which we have heard many times over--in life, on TV and in the movies and books. These are the times that try not only men's souls, but also seem to test our faith. Will this psychological pressure cause us to be crushed by grief and despair, or will it change us into rough diamonds?

Kushner has walked down this agonizing road himself; now he shares his insight with all who mourn, regardless of religious persuasion. He assures us that it Is possible to retain belief in a God who "allows" these tragedies to happen. Hopefullyl we will mature spiritually into people of greater compassion than we would have ever expected possible. No book can bring back the deceased, but This one makes it easier to accept the loss, by urging us to honor the beloved, instead of indulging in guilt
or misdirecting our anger. Take heart--be true to the memories of those who now live only in your heart.

Rabbi Kushner's relections on the existence of evil and the goodness of God was of great help in coming to grips with the loss of our son and our anger at God. This is a book for everyone, but especially for those bearing grief.

Rabbi Kushner has written a book that I believe will be remembered for hundreds of years to come. In a non-judgemental way, he talks about bad things and how good can still exist in the world. Reading his book gave me more profound hope for the world. Although some fundamentalists are offended with his words, I found then comforting. Kushner helped motivate me to write a book about my autistic son called "Our Brown Eyed Boy"

Thank you Rabbi Kushner!

I'm sure that the question "why do bad things happen to good people?" is one of the big questions that spiritually-minded people have always asked themselves. Even non-spiritual people may also find themselves dealing with this issue, if they are ever unfortunate enough to have something bad happen to them. It's good that there is a book like this, in case such people need something to read on the subject. As a very spiritual person myself, though, I find myself much more likely to be pondering the opposite question : why do good things happen to bad people? This phenomenon can be just as distressing, if not even more so, depending on how spiritual you are. The two things are very related - both questions stem from our wish to get all the good things for ourselves, and give all the bad things to someone else. Why bother being good if I don't get good things? Why don't I just be bad? I'd be just as likely to get good things anyway. The moral and spiritual question of how to palm off all the bad things onto someone else, while skimming off all the good things for ourselves, has always apparently tortured us, and never more so in this age of envy and greed. Where is the motivation for doing or being "good" if good things go to bad people? Considering this book was written 20 years ago, you'd think it could have been updated by now to incorporate this more spiritual approach to the subject.

A small but powerful little book. One to share over and over again, one to give when just sharing isn't enough.