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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How about a 15 on a 1-10 scale?,
This review is from: Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes (Paperback)I have an admission: I can't process Duke Robinson's book as fast as I would like. That's because it contains vast insight into how we would-be nice folk trip over ourselves. So, I'm reading it slowly and taking time for reflection.
But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response.
If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work.
But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply Superb...top of the line...Thank you Duke Robinson!,
This review is from: Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes (Paperback)I really only have three words for this awesome, life-healing book: OH. MY. GOD.
I never realized until recently how deeply my so-called niceness was hurting me, absolutely draining me. It's as if I've gone through my entire life (until now) thinking solely of others, in order not to be rejected, abandoned, dis-vaildated. I supress my anger, and do all the other mistakes that are mentioned in the book. Needless to say, my stress levels have been over the top, trying so damn hard not to step on someone else's toes! Well, no more. I am done with apologizing for existing on this earth, and Mr. Robinson is giving me the validation and the confidence I need to move forward in the healthiest of ways! I thank you, sir, from the bottom of my heart. You have facilitated a major change in my life, and I am beyond grateful to you. I highly recomend this book, and I do not believe that 5 stars are quite enough to rate it. Read it, and change your life's approach.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Duke's words ring true... and now in paperback!,
This review is from: Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes (Paperback)Here's what I wrote before when this was in hardback only:
This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my
I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews.
This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends,
Thanks, Duke. The book is great!
And now that it's been in paperback for a while, everyone should own a copy. Get it now before you are manipulated by your own actions.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great self help book,
This review is from: Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes (Kindle Edition)It is a wonderful book. It helped me to overcome problems that life throws at me without turning into a mean person.
5.0 out of 5 stars Understand yourself, but should we understand others too?,
The term `too nice' probably means `afraid of causing trouble', which equates to being unassertive and trying to please everybody. I know that I've been in this bracket of people, and it is a zone that needs escaping. The approach in this book is one of going outside your comfort zone little by little in order to gain confidence; a safe and proven course to take, and a course endorsed by counsellors worldwide, so I thoroughly recommend this book.
But there is a second approach. These problems basically amount to a fear of rejection, which is usually a lack of confidence caused by limited social skill. In addition to extending our comfort zones we can learn all about how people work, and we can develop our own behaviours through learning more about human behaviour in general. There is often some character we know to be unpleasant, and yet s/he is immensely popular and might even possess leadership qualities. Why? How? The answer is simple; they know something we don't know.
Well, I didn't know, but finally, after years of study, I've come up with some answers. I've written these answers down in a workbook for you, so that, through reading and then working through the questions, you too can develop a deep understanding of the sorts of things going on. I suggest that by finding out what these less nice people are doing, you too can take control of interactions any time you feel it is appropriate. The book will tell you what other people are doing to make you behave as you do, and once you know this, not only will you be able to stop yourself doing what you do, but also you will have their repertoire of behaviour available to you should you choose to use it.
I'll edit in: I had written the name of my book, but unfortunately on other sites a reviewer found this politically incorrect, so I've deleted it. If you like the sound of what I've written, you will find the book title on my profile page. My book offers a different, but entirely complementary approach to the 'too nice' problem - an approach of learning new skills as well as extending personal boundaries. I say with conviction that this book and my book form a very useful combination that could transform someone's life. Meanwhile, google fallacies, then google presuppositions and maybe check out the angelfire site (not connected with me), maybe also look at In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People or The Sociopath Next Door. These are a few useful directions to look into.
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Nice for Your Own Good,
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I lost my copy once and re-purchased it, because I found it that helpful.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Niceness Mistakes-For Good!,
1. Liberating from the bondage of other's expectations
A change is always welcome even for the nice to be nicer and avoid the mistakes that we keep making out of the blue. Our good intentions turn out to be damn-in-way for others who often misunderstand or shrug off not appreciating your worth as human being. This book is indeed a gem collection for every person who has learned to live being 'Nice' and remain being so without being emotionally hung up sometimes. Good Pick!
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Proof of Book's Impact,
4/2000: Reading "Good Intentions" evoked feelings similar to those when I first read Emerson's "Self Reliance" in college. The power of the book comes from reading in print what I have experienced, fell prey to, and have had similar thoughts on in the areas of personal relationships, anger and trying to always do the "right" thing. The pleasure of the read is having my own inner-examination verified and examined in an easy to read manner. I found the sections on anger and reasoning with irrationality excellent reference guides for healthy management of these (nearly) everyday occurrences. This book will be kept on my shelf as a reference book for life. Thanks for writing it Duke!
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Nice For Your Own Good,
Always being "nice" looks so good from the outside, but oh, the pain that is there inside. Duke Robinson's touching book guides you through simple, yet challanging steps to relieve that pain forever. My first intention was to read this book as a self-help guide in learning how to deal with my mistakes. I found my "niceness" in many chapters and immediately began trying some of the suggested changes. They do work and I feel better! Being a believer that continuing education is a lifelong process, I want to share this book with others. Using the author's study guides, I plan to introduce "Good Intentions" to an adult study group at my church.
5.0 out of 5 stars Some Good Advice - Plain and Simple!!,
The author focuses on nine "mistakes" we "nice people" make in interpersonal relationships - e.g. giving advice - and he does so with candor, helpful examples, and suggestive ways toward behaviors that are both "nice" and psychologically healthy. My trying some has even convinced my wife!!
Thanks, Duke, for some good advice - plain and simple. I can't say you saved our marriage - that's pretty secure - but you have helped us reduce the tensions that sometimes arise from my being "too nice for my own good."
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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson (Paperback - Nov 1 2000)
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