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19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mist
This book has been all that I hoped for and more. The book, in a nutshell, basically says that to get ahead in life, in career, in everything, women need to stop acting like little girls.
Replete with examples from Ms. Frankel's consulting clients, this book gives practical, no-holds-barred evaluations of such behaviours as feeding people at the office, working too...
Published on March 17 2004 by Wendy G. Anderson

7 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Oh Come On
No excuses. I read this book and it has a few obvious choices for altering behaviors male or female, but I despise books like this because the premise is failure before you even begin! This book is only for you if you're think you're "behind" somehow. You're not and if you think you're not others will see that confidence. Do you think women who succeed in business begin...
Published on May 12 2004 by MovedbyMusic

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5.0 out of 5 stars A lot of people will find this book helpful!, March 19 2004
Sandra Caine (LA. Calif. USA) - See all my reviews
I think a lot of people (both mean and women), will fin, "Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office:101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That sabotage Their Careers," by Lois P. Frankel both interesting and helpful. I know I did.
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4.0 out of 5 stars More Than Rosie the Riveter:, March 17 2004
Men are men. Women are women. Right? The matter of gender is easy enough to establish, but in Lois P. Frankel's book, "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers" we learn there are underlying mores and premises to follow if women want to be at the top of a company. These rules are unspoken, but Frankel demystifies the process by which some women hurt their success by playing into the cultural roles prescribed to them growing up.

Frankel presumes most women grew up in a home that oppresses women from growing up into full adults. What may have been true for 1954 is not as true today. However, her challenge is still with merit, and in 2004, it crosses the gender barrier. e men should be taking notes from Frankel. There are plenty of little boys among us who need to work as men.

"Rosie the Riveter" ads during WWII encouraged women into the workplace, but often as factory and shipyard works. There was no "Annie the Accountant" or "Sally the CEO" campaigns. Being all you can be means being more than you were as a child. Frankel helps show how women can be more than little girls in the office place, and garner success as a result.

It is important to note that as much as this is an important book for women who esteem to be seen as professional should read, men also should read it. Not every man has reached his potential, and some fall to the same problems, in a masculine variation, as do some women. Fear, exhibited through the lack of initiative and an overborne, unnecessary kindness, holds many people back.

Objective, straightforwardness is much of what Frankel asserts.

Being professional doesn't mean you need to convert into a stomping intimidator, but it does mean being firm, not wincing when rejection is forthcoming, and thinking about more than immediate relationships. It is about getting the job done well, in concert with others, but never becoming weak while doing it all. You have expertise. You have training. You have what it takes.

Although Frankel is a professional coach, her book itself shows a coach is not needed. You need to be in control of your career, without worrying about the next person. Retain your ethics, your integrity and your aplomb, but it is your job to lead the way through your professional life. No parents, no coach, no friends are responsible for this.

I fully recommend "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers"
by Lois P. Frankel. Follow it up with the classic Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People," to learn the other side of the professional relationship balance.

Anthony Trendl
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4.0 out of 5 stars Sexual Sabotage, March 17 2004
Joanna Daneman (USA) - See all my reviews
How to undo years of socialization of gender roles while working in business? This is a dilemma that women are facing as they push on the glass ceiling. What if the glass ceiling were as much self-created as part of corporate culture? These are some of the issues that Lois Frankel attempts to address in "Nice Girls."
Her analysis of gender training (such as Nice Girls Aren't Loud) are pretty much what I heard as a child. Yet...what a delicate line women must walk, as being tough is interpreted as bitchiness instead of hard-headed business savvy. So here's the problem; Frankel advises worrying less about being liked, advises apologizing sparingly -- not profusely and frequently, but that isn't the same as permission to have a take-no-prisoners attitude. While occasionally being disliked is going to be hard on women who work cooperatively and not in a hierarchical manner, Frankel explains why niceness may short-circuit the path to a deserved top spot.
While Frankel's book has excellent advice about avoiding subtle but destructive body language and practices like apologizing and making declarative statements into questions, as well as failing to blow one's own horn as needed, there are other books that explain the male-dominated playing field such as "Hardball for Women." It's not enough to understand our own failures to mesh into a world where men pretty much make the rules, it's also important to understand the rules thoroughly. "Rules favor the rulemakers, and when they don't, the rules are changed." Look at the troubles of Carly Fiorina and the attitudes towards Martha Stewart to see some of the pitfalls that can trap someone while following the advice in Frankel's book without understanding all the rules or new rules of behavior.
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4.0 out of 5 stars The Times They Are A'Changin...., March 15 2004
Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
For more than two decades, Frankel has been advising women to recognize and then stop making various "unconscious mistakes" which have sabotaged their careers and (probably) many of their personal relationships as well. However, the fact remains that countless men as well as women have made the same mistakes and suffered from the same consequences. True, even throughout U.S. history, society has assigned quite different stereotypical roles to men and women. Perhaps not until World War II, for example, were most women allowed to combine full-time employment with marriage and/or parenthood. Even then, many of the women relinquished their jobs to men after the war ended. They, their daughters, and their granddaughters were again strongly encouraged to accept the role of a subordinate, deferential, compliant, cooperative, "Stepford-ish" role in the home, in the community, and even in the workplace.
"Attempts to act counter to this socialized role are met with ridicule, disapproval and scorn." Frankel goes on to observe, "Whether it was Mom's message -- 'Boys don't like girls who are too loud.' -- or, in response to any angry outburst, a spouse's messages -- 'What's the matter? Is it that time of month?' -- women are continually bombarded. with negative reinforcement for acting in any manner contrary to what they were taught in girlhood. As a result, they learn that acting like a 'good girl' is less painful than than assuming more appropriate behavior for adult women (and totally acceptable for boys and adult men.)" Two reactions to that brief excerpt: First, my own experience suggests that Frankel's observations were more true 10-15 years ago than they are today. Also, finally (!), we are beginning to appreciate the full value and substantial benefits of what Daniel Goleman calls "emotional intelligence" in the workplace: nurturing associates, building consensus, empathy, expressing feelings as well as ideas, etc. Traditionally, these values have been more associated with women than with men. With the decline of the "command and control" management style, in combination with Free Agency (which was in great part a response to that style), males as well as females are expected to develop emotional intelligence.
There are two other societal phenomena worthy of note: The increasing number of two-income households and the increasing number of single-parent families. The former requires a different division of labor, of tasks once viewed as gender-specific; the latter requires one adult to be both mother and father. These two phenomena have done much to invalidate the "role" which Frankel's describes in the brief excerpt. I also want to suggest again, that Eleanor Roosevelt's statement which Frankel quotes ("No one can make you feel inferior without your consent") is as relevant to males as it is to females. As the enormous sales of books written by the Twin Doctors (McCraw and Schlesinger) and others have clearly demonstrated, males as well as females are eager -- many even desperate -- for guidance on how to find greater meaning and fulfillment, great joy and satisfaction in their personal as well as professional lives. Self really does matter.
Frankel's sensible advice on how to avoid or correct various "unconscious mistakes" does NOT preclude being a lady or a gentleman. On the contrary, as presumably she would agree, the most highly respected and admired executives are -- by nature or of necessity -- polite, thoughtful, sensitive, and considerate persons. Why? Organizations today heavily depend upon effective human as well as electronic networks. Those human networks are based on trust and comprised of women as well as men, led by those who possess qualities of character and temperament once associated almost entirely with women.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Take control of your career! YES!, March 14 2004
Thank you Ms. Frankel! One more important point to add: In the climb to the corner office, keep in mind that you never, ever get a second chance to make a first impression. Women show far too much humility about their talents, skills and accomplishments. If we want people to value us, we must first show that we value ourselves - by making sure our accomplishments are visible to targeted audiences. If we want people to hire us, promote us, buy from us, and invest in our companies, they have to know who we are, what we have accomplished and why they should have us on their teams! Self-promotion is a valuable business tool that careerwomen must add to their strategies for success. (Review by: Marion E. Gold, award-winning author of "Personal Publicity Planner: A Guide to Marketing YOU."
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reading for any woman serious about her career, March 2 2004
By A Customer
Having worked in the hi tech industry for almost 10 years now, with all the ups and downs, many of the insights by Frankel are accurate and many are really lessons to pick up from. A must read for any woman keen on making personal changes to fit better in any corporate environment.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great Corporate Coaching tips for women, Feb. 25 2004
Jemela S. Macer, Ph.D (La Canada, CA United States) - See all my reviews
I found this book immensely helpful and readable, and a great addition to the field. Dr. Frankel's style is clear and concise and she obviously speaks from a wealth of knowledge and experience. Though the book has just recently been published, I have already found myself recommending it to female clients in my psychotherapy practice who are stalled in their careers. If you're looking for some direct advice and helpful hints about how to get ahead in the corporate world, this is the book for you.
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5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Is Long Overdue!, Feb. 24 2004
I loved "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office!" I've been in the workplace for over 30 years, struggling with making myself be heard and taken seriously, especially by men. Dr. Frankel hits the nail on the head with so many of her suggestions! As a woman raised during the 50's, many of the messages I received about how to act in order to succeed, especially in corporations, need to be altered. I particularly related to the following points: "Worry Less About Being Liked", "Never Ask Permission" and "Apologize Sparingly". These speak directly to personal issues for me and by having Dr. Frankel's book on my desk to remind me, its helping me to change some of these very
deeply rooted behaviors. A Must Read for women, especially those who've been around for a few years!
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5.0 out of 5 stars I am on my way to the corner office!, Feb. 24 2004
Jessica (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews
AN AWESOME READ! By reading "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office," I feel like I can make the changes needed to further my career and soon be in the corner office myself. I have bought copies for my sister, mother and close female friends and they have all enjoyed it immensely. I also found Dr. Frankel's other book, "Overcoming Your Strengths," helpful to my career. The tips in her books are insightful and make a definite difference.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great, sensible advice, Feb. 24 2004
By A Customer
All the unconscious, everyday bringdowns women to do to themselves, to stay off the fast track. Laid out forthrightly and without sentimentality, author Lois Frankel makes you understand that women have to break out of learned growing-up behaviors and inhibitions to make it in the corporate world. Look in the mirror, ladies -- it's you, not them!
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