10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A male who agrees!
My wife brought this book home and I took a peek. Yes, this author hits the nail on the head. Women in the workplace too often look for approval from others and when they don't do something right, apologize too quickly. Guys are naturally competitive and don't expect apologies. We're into using strengths and opportunities to the max as we move forward. If you are...
Published on April 20 2004
6 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Oh Come On
No excuses. I read this book and it has a few obvious choices for altering behaviors male or female, but I despise books like this because the premise is failure before you even begin! This book is only for you if you're think you're "behind" somehow. You're not and if you think you're not others will see that confidence. Do you think women who succeed in business begin...
Published on May 12 2004 by MovedbyMusic
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5.0 out of 5 stars A lot of people will find this book helpful!,
This review is from: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Hardcover)I think a lot of people (both mean and women), will fin, "Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office:101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That sabotage Their Careers," by Lois P. Frankel both interesting and helpful. I know I did.
4.0 out of 5 stars More Than Rosie the Riveter:,
This review is from: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Hardcover)Men are men. Women are women. Right? The matter of gender is easy enough to establish, but in Lois P. Frankel's book, "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers" we learn there are underlying mores and premises to follow if women want to be at the top of a company. These rules are unspoken, but Frankel demystifies the process by which some women hurt their success by playing into the cultural roles prescribed to them growing up.
Frankel presumes most women grew up in a home that oppresses women from growing up into full adults. What may have been true for 1954 is not as true today. However, her challenge is still with merit, and in 2004, it crosses the gender barrier. e men should be taking notes from Frankel. There are plenty of little boys among us who need to work as men.
"Rosie the Riveter" ads during WWII encouraged women into the workplace, but often as factory and shipyard works. There was no "Annie the Accountant" or "Sally the CEO" campaigns. Being all you can be means being more than you were as a child. Frankel helps show how women can be more than little girls in the office place, and garner success as a result.
It is important to note that as much as this is an important book for women who esteem to be seen as professional should read, men also should read it. Not every man has reached his potential, and some fall to the same problems, in a masculine variation, as do some women. Fear, exhibited through the lack of initiative and an overborne, unnecessary kindness, holds many people back.
Objective, straightforwardness is much of what Frankel asserts.
Being professional doesn't mean you need to convert into a stomping intimidator, but it does mean being firm, not wincing when rejection is forthcoming, and thinking about more than immediate relationships. It is about getting the job done well, in concert with others, but never becoming weak while doing it all. You have expertise. You have training. You have what it takes.
Although Frankel is a professional coach, her book itself shows a coach is not needed. You need to be in control of your career, without worrying about the next person. Retain your ethics, your integrity and your aplomb, but it is your job to lead the way through your professional life. No parents, no coach, no friends are responsible for this.
I fully recommend "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers"
by Lois P. Frankel. Follow it up with the classic Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People," to learn the other side of the professional relationship balance.
4.0 out of 5 stars Sexual Sabotage,
This review is from: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Hardcover)How to undo years of socialization of gender roles while working in business? This is a dilemma that women are facing as they push on the glass ceiling. What if the glass ceiling were as much self-created as part of corporate culture? These are some of the issues that Lois Frankel attempts to address in "Nice Girls."
Her analysis of gender training (such as Nice Girls Aren't Loud) are pretty much what I heard as a child. Yet...what a delicate line women must walk, as being tough is interpreted as bitchiness instead of hard-headed business savvy. So here's the problem; Frankel advises worrying less about being liked, advises apologizing sparingly -- not profusely and frequently, but that isn't the same as permission to have a take-no-prisoners attitude. While occasionally being disliked is going to be hard on women who work cooperatively and not in a hierarchical manner, Frankel explains why niceness may short-circuit the path to a deserved top spot.
While Frankel's book has excellent advice about avoiding subtle but destructive body language and practices like apologizing and making declarative statements into questions, as well as failing to blow one's own horn as needed, there are other books that explain the male-dominated playing field such as "Hardball for Women." It's not enough to understand our own failures to mesh into a world where men pretty much make the rules, it's also important to understand the rules thoroughly. "Rules favor the rulemakers, and when they don't, the rules are changed." Look at the troubles of Carly Fiorina and the attitudes towards Martha Stewart to see some of the pitfalls that can trap someone while following the advice in Frankel's book without understanding all the rules or new rules of behavior.
4.0 out of 5 stars The Times They Are A'Changin....,
"Attempts to act counter to this socialized role are met with ridicule, disapproval and scorn." Frankel goes on to observe, "Whether it was Mom's message -- 'Boys don't like girls who are too loud.' -- or, in response to any angry outburst, a spouse's messages -- 'What's the matter? Is it that time of month?' -- women are continually bombarded. with negative reinforcement for acting in any manner contrary to what they were taught in girlhood. As a result, they learn that acting like a 'good girl' is less painful than than assuming more appropriate behavior for adult women (and totally acceptable for boys and adult men.)" Two reactions to that brief excerpt: First, my own experience suggests that Frankel's observations were more true 10-15 years ago than they are today. Also, finally (!), we are beginning to appreciate the full value and substantial benefits of what Daniel Goleman calls "emotional intelligence" in the workplace: nurturing associates, building consensus, empathy, expressing feelings as well as ideas, etc. Traditionally, these values have been more associated with women than with men. With the decline of the "command and control" management style, in combination with Free Agency (which was in great part a response to that style), males as well as females are expected to develop emotional intelligence.
There are two other societal phenomena worthy of note: The increasing number of two-income households and the increasing number of single-parent families. The former requires a different division of labor, of tasks once viewed as gender-specific; the latter requires one adult to be both mother and father. These two phenomena have done much to invalidate the "role" which Frankel's describes in the brief excerpt. I also want to suggest again, that Eleanor Roosevelt's statement which Frankel quotes ("No one can make you feel inferior without your consent") is as relevant to males as it is to females. As the enormous sales of books written by the Twin Doctors (McCraw and Schlesinger) and others have clearly demonstrated, males as well as females are eager -- many even desperate -- for guidance on how to find greater meaning and fulfillment, great joy and satisfaction in their personal as well as professional lives. Self really does matter.
Frankel's sensible advice on how to avoid or correct various "unconscious mistakes" does NOT preclude being a lady or a gentleman. On the contrary, as presumably she would agree, the most highly respected and admired executives are -- by nature or of necessity -- polite, thoughtful, sensitive, and considerate persons. Why? Organizations today heavily depend upon effective human as well as electronic networks. Those human networks are based on trust and comprised of women as well as men, led by those who possess qualities of character and temperament once associated almost entirely with women.
5.0 out of 5 stars Take control of your career! YES!,
5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ! Truly dynamic.,
If you're serious about your career, you'll definitely want this book in your brief case! She has a way with words that makes every example seem to have come straight from a place you've been. All of my choices now are guided by "the book". Thank you Dr. Frankel, you are my hero!
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reading for any woman serious about her career,
By A Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Corporate Coaching tips for women,
5.0 out of 5 stars Grown Up Women Unite!,
Practical, insightful, down to earth and real. This book is for grown up women who want to stop self-defeating behaviors and embrace the freedom of being the completely competent, powerful, fun person they are.
I'll never cry in the workplace again. I'll never again feel I'm asking for too much by simply being clear about what's needed to complete a project .
This is a book for the bedside table and for the top of your desk.
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Is Long Overdue!,
deeply rooted behaviors. A Must Read for women, especially those who've been around for a few years!
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Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by Lois P. Frankel (Paperback - Jun 7 2010)
CDN$ 17.00 CDN$ 12.27