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on March 23, 2016
I like how it defines abuse and teaches you to stand up for oneself. However, this book is a quite sexist saying that it is men who have most of the anger issues and in reality the opposite is true. It could quite possibly lead to more divorces than is saves.
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on September 28, 2015
this book isan excellent resourse! well worth the read if your willing to do the homework and stop your abusive ways or recognize your partners ways. an eye opener!
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon July 8, 2014
This is probably the most helpful book I have read on abusive relationships so far. Beverly Engel focuses on a person's childhood and learned behaviour and attitudes. I learnt a lot about myself and others from reading this book. Everyone can take something away from this book.
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on June 30, 2014
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship clearly identifies the nature of chronic abuse, and offers ways to stop reacting offensively and to take responsibility, each one for their own behaviour.

If one party cannot or does not wish to change, then the individual who does want to change has given it a good try - and has a decision to make. Lots of good strategies to politely and effectively confront someone who is hurting you and to refrain from making reactive statements that will not help.

Eleanor Cowan : A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer
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on May 1, 2014
This book offers hope and helpful suggestions for recognising and responding to an emotionally abusive relationship. There is no "magic bullet," but there is hope and recovery for both the abuser and the one being abused. One thing I especially like is that it is explained that there is no right or wrong person in such a relationship, and some people are both abused and abuser. If you are feeling confused or hurt in a relationship, but you cannot get to the bottom of why you feel this way, read this book to help you sort out your feelings.
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on February 20, 2011
I bought this book because I used to be in an abusive relationship, and I even those I have been out of this relationship for a few years now, I still felt there were unanswered questions. I didn't fully understand how I ended up in an abusive relationship, and overall, wasn't fully recovered.

This book clearly explained why I ended up in an abusive relationship. It made everything perfectly clear. After the initial anger subsided, which lasted only a couple of days, I was finally able to forgive and let go of the past.

The book is highly insightful. It is very well written, and very, very clear. It also helped me watch out of victim-like behavior in myself with other people in my like. It gives clear advice on what to do when you are dealing with people who have abusive tendencies. These techniques work exceptionally well on people who are not overly abusive. People that are very abusive are better avoided, and she clearly explains the difference.

A real eye-opener. I highly recommend it.
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on January 12, 2011
"The Emotionally Abusive Relationship" is a wonderful, helpful, sane book for people who are trying to figure out what is "wrong" in a relationship or situation, and what to do about it. I think it would help not just partners of abusive spouses, but also adult children of difficult parents, and, as well, people trying to cope with toxic organizations, or with bullies anywhere: workplaces, clubs, schools, religious/spiritual groups, and so on. It is clear and well-written and helped me enormously. Other books I found useful: "Stalking the Soul" by Marie-France Hirigoyen, and "Nasty People" by Jay Carter.
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on December 5, 2003
My experience with domestic violence landed me in therapy for PTSD. Eight years after divorcing my abusive husband, I continued to have less abusive relationships but still couldn't figure out why I couldn't seem to create a healthy relationship. This book taught me my patterns and even the signs I wasn't able to pin point as simmering in my new relationship. I was able to confront and talk with my new partner before things got out of hand. Together we are learning new patterns of behavior and are addressing both our learned behaviors as well. This is a great couples book no matter what's going on. Before I even gave it to him, my partner was calling it "the best book ever written" as I was able to explain his patterns to him that had bothered him for a long time. Read it yourself then get your partner to read it. Give it to any woman as a gift that's been through divorce or any type of abuse. You could change her life.
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on October 6, 2003
As our relationship continually ran into difficulties, I knew something unhealthy was happening. I then read many books on the topic of abuse and control. This book not only describes and categorizes abuser and abusee, more importantly, it offers a guide to understand the cause as well as relavent corrective actions. Read this book!
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on March 8, 2003
I could not put this book down. Most "self-help" books lay on my shelf half read, but this one was a real page turner. The author does an excellent job describing the forms of emotional abuse and helps you understand the dynamics behind it. She also provides helpful information in the book for the abuser. The best part of her book is the information she provides at the end of the book for changing your life so you can begin to seek out healthy relationships. She provides concrete, tangible things you can do to help raise your self-esteem and to identify the warning signs in possible abusers!
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