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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Still one of the best
As a therapist I frequently make use of bibliotherapy - lending or referring clients to books I think would be helpful. Whenever I direct a client to 'When I say no, I feel guilty' I invariably am told by them later what a great resource they found it to be. Its ideas, principles and strategies are timeless (although an updated version would be great ...hint, hint). It is...
Published on Sept. 7 2011 by Tony Voyager

versus
2.0 out of 5 stars A Mike Hammer Book for Getting What You Want...
...and watch out for those side effects. First of all, this book is not what it claims. Assertiveness Training is not used here as it is in behavior therapy. The father of behavior therapy is/was Joseph Wolpe. To Wolpe, relaxation inhibits fear. Anger and intimacy inhibit social fear. But Wolpe stated that these books were not operating within this framework...
Published on May 10 2001 by Bill Butler


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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Still one of the best, Sept. 7 2011
By 
Tony Voyager (Vancouver, Canada) - See all my reviews
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
As a therapist I frequently make use of bibliotherapy - lending or referring clients to books I think would be helpful. Whenever I direct a client to 'When I say no, I feel guilty' I invariably am told by them later what a great resource they found it to be. Its ideas, principles and strategies are timeless (although an updated version would be great ...hint, hint). It is empowering just to read, with many clients experiencing AHA moments or realizations that they've been operating under a bunch of other people's arbitrary rules that only benefits the other.

The Assertive Right that most find helpful is the one that says 'You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behaviour', particularly powerful for those brought up in critical environments.

This book was also of enormous benefit to me personally - and I've made tremendous use of the broken record (or would that be jammed CD now?) over my lifetime.

I hardly ever take the time to review books here but this is one I can heartily recommend.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A self-help book on assertiveness, May 16 2014
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This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This is one of the main books I loan out to people who are dealing with difficult people in their lives.
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4.0 out of 5 stars I feel guilty, March 29 2014
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This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
Amazing what the human brain can project in times when we seem to be vulnerable. I am getting over this idea of always feeling guilty when I say no to something. Now I can say no and move on with my life. Good reading for those of us who always seem to be at the beck and call of others and have a difficult time being able to express their wishes.
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5.0 out of 5 stars When I say No I Feel Guilty, Oct. 27 2013
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This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This book is an indispensable guide to anyone who wants to learn to be assertive and create personal boundaries. Even though it was written back in the sixties, the techniques and concepts are still very relevant.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Learn assertiveness skills with this excellent manual., July 29 2002
By 
Beth Cholette "doctor_beth" (Upstate NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
I am a psychologist working in a college counseling center, and this is the number one book on assertiveness that I recommend to my clients. Dr. Smith begins by describing "Your 10 Assertive Rights," a reminder that we all have a right do such human things as say "I don't know" and change our minds. He then introduces various assertiveness strategies one by one, starting with the very basic skill of persistence (AKA the "broken record" technique). For each strategy, Dr. Smith presents a short dialogue vignette to help you better understand how to apply that technique to real life. Once he has thoroughly taught all of the individual techniques, Dr. Smith puts them all together and addresses assertiveness in different types of situations--ie, with your family members versus with your boss. This is a great book for anyone who is tired of not being able to say "no" and ready to learn how to change their behavior.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life!!, Aug. 27 2002
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This is a great book. This is not only for people who are not assertive, but also for people who get offended by criticism.
This will help you to have good freinds and great relationships. You might lose some manipulative ones but what is the fun in being manipulated.
Even though the book's title is very catchy, it should be renamed "Relationship Bible" because this helps you to be a straight shooter and no BS. This book also helps you develop integrity and honesty, because once you understand your assertive rights you dont need to lie to people.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Practical Guidebook, Sept. 29 2003
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This book goes far beyond theoretical principles on how to be more assertive. It gives numerous sample dialogues which reflect everyday situations. One practical method is the use of fogging. You implicitly agree with the critic in order to simultaneously deflect the criticism without resorting to hostility. In this book, you learn how to be assertive in relatively impersonal situations (such as dealing with a persistent salesman) as well as closer ones (such as negotiating with an employer, or conversing with a dissatisfied spouse). A teacher can learn, using this book, how to cope with students who try to manipulate her into changing their grades on an "unfair" test.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Solid theories, practical knowledge., April 22 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This book contains everything you need to know in order to survive in the «outside world». I can't believe I spent only 10$ or so to get this complete reference book. It is the perfect book to bring with you and consult right after experiencing a difficult situation. A must have.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Best book on assertiveness and counter-manipulation, Jan. 22 2003
By 
Stephan Branczyk (Alameda, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
This is the best self-help book I have ever read. The title may or may not apply to you, but nevertheless, the insights contained within can be valuable and practical to just about anyone.
This book explains assertiveness and manipulation in opposition of each other. It explains manipulation as the act of indirectly asking for what you want by making others feel guilty. And it explains assertiveness as the act of firmly asking for what you want without feeling guilty and without making others feel guilty.
It gives examples of transcripts throughout the book. And the main technique is so simple ("fogging" and refusing the implied guilt) -- it's been very easy to apply in real life.
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5.0 out of 5 stars eye-opening, July 5 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (Mass Market Paperback)
Excellent book! Teaches the goal of communicating your feelings & needs, regardless of what someone else wants you to do. The teachings in this book, if used, can disable someone's ability to manipulate. This is a classic.
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When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith (Mass Market Paperback - 1975)
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