Customer Reviews

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us

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If you consider keeping your identity a secret and keeping mum in order to perpetuate the status quo as being "accepted by society," then I suppose outspoken transsexuals like Bornstein have done a lot of damage. However, she does go to great lengths to address in her book the fact that some other transsexuals will undoubtedly disagree with her. I may disagree with separatist lesbians, but I would never deny them the right to speak out about their beliefs because "they make feminism look bad."

Now, Kate Bornstein is no "man-hater," after all, she used to be a man! But is she a woman now? Well, not exactly. while I may disagree with her occasionally cheesy use of the word "shaman" to describe exactly what she is, I know what she's getting at, because the beauty of this book is that most of us, transgendered or not, have been there, too.

The point is not that "she was a he who got his thing cut off." The point is that gender roles in our culture are way too stratified, too rigid. We need to play with them, to find out what would happen if, god(dess) forbid, we spent some time as neither, even if just while reading a book. As unradical and simple as that may sound, it is the point of Bornstein's book. it would be a start toward dismantling what she so astutely refers to as the cult of gender. She does include her e-mail address in her book, and I am eagerly awaiting a response from her to a message I sent.

I also recommend My Gender Workbook, which is illustrated by Diane DiMassa (who I met when she spoke at RISD!)

Just after I started my own transition I read this book, and it was possibly the most influential read of my transition. It was truly strengthening and exhilerating, and I found my voice through reading this book. A fantastic read for anyone--not just transgender folks--but especially for those proceeding into transition.

Since I started reading the book of Mrs Bornstein, I had mixed feelings. For sure, her description of the way men and women are imprisonned into socially stereotyped roles is interesting, relevant and very useful. For sure, any effort to help people freeing themselves from these stereotypes is important.

On the other hand, I cannot agree on the way she uses transsexual persons to make her point.

First of all the life experience of transsexual persons are extremely diverse and the one of Mrs Bornstein is far to correspond to the one of most persons. Many transsexual persons identify themselves as being clearly women (or men) born with a birth defect, entrapped in the wrong body, which is an unbearably painful condition. For them having their bodies repaired is not only an emergency but literally a matter of life and death.

This does not mean that those persons will necessarily agree with the gender stereotypes and will fit into rigidly defined roles. But this question is completely distinct from the one of the sexual identity of transsexual persons.

Of course, some other persons have a self identification which is more complex. But the experience of transsexual persons is too diverse to be put under a single hat. It is also clear that facing a world with rigid gender stereotypes is an extremely serious problem for transsexual persons, but it is also problematic for a lot of other people. On the other hand, the key question transsexual persons are facing, is that their sexual identity is in deep disagreement with their body up to the point of making their lives unbearable. This question is completely unrelated with the gender system we are facing.

People under 40 may not know it but once upon a time the phenomeon of transsexualism was treated with taste and even respect in the media. From Christine Jorgensen in the 1950's, Renee Richards in the 1970's, to Caroline Cossey in the 1980's, these ladies received much sympathetic press, far more than of the negative variety. People back then actually "got" transsexuality that it was a gender identity problem that could be corrected through the miracle of science. Many dramatic television shows in the 1970's and 1980's even had episodes sympathetic to the plight of transsexuals from MEDICAL CENTER to even LOVE BOAT. Unfortunately that period is over. Thanks largely in part to loony drag queens calling themselves "transsexuals" and acting like fools on Jerry Springer and other shows, but especially due to this new breed of individuals who call themselves "transgender" and don't want to be thought of as any particular sex (so why bother with expensive surgery?) the legacy of Jorgensen, Richards, Cossey, and other courageous pioneers has all but been trashed by a loud, belligerent band of jokers who have intentionally or not have destroyed the legtimacy of transsexualism in the minds of many to where it is now seen by the general public as some sort of quirk for a bunch of attention-seeking nonentities. And certainly the queen of this movement is Kate Bornstein.

Like nearly 100 percent of "transgenders", Bornstein is lesbian-identified. I most definately believe a legitimate transsexual could be essentially lesbian but frankly after reading her book and profiles of a few others it seems clear most are actual extreme transvestites, straight men who like to wear women's clothes and are obssessed with lesbian sex. Transsexuality is just their mode in getting there. Could these people be happy in their chosen sex if they were denied a sex partner? It seems they don't want to really be "women" but want to be "lesbians". (No, I don't understand that either.)
Bornstein has got to be the very defination of an attention-seeker, not only does she publish her email address address in the book and practically beg for responses but she includes in the book's photos a snapshot from a TV screen of her yakking away on some TV talk show.

The transgender leaders seem to want (or rather demand) the privileges and benefits of being BOTH male and female rather than being a single gender and accepting the responsibilities and (for lack of a better word) "baggage" that comes with being either a man or a woman. Many expect their "ex" wives to remain with them despite the fact that this would cause upheaval in the XX female's life, force her into a lifestyle she did not choose or is oriented toward and seems to be male bullying of the worst variety.

Thanks to the loud transgender movement (proclaiming themselves some sort of third sex or outside the confines of male or female identities, "gender outlaws" as Ms. Bornstein would have it) transsexual civil rights have been crushed and overturned across the nation. Marriages between transsexuals and people of the opposite sex are no longer considered valid (after decades of being accepted as so!!) Transsexuals basically have no rights in the courts now as a person of their chosen gender, perhaps the first real turn-back in civil rights for any group in America.
Congratulations Katie, in your quest for attention and notoriety you have made life much more difficult for thousands of transsexuals across the country. Hope your cheesy "fame" is worth it to you.

As someone often mistaken for a woman, and as an Anthropologist, I highly recommend this wonderful, whimsical, Enlightened view of the Society vs. Gender dilemma.
People often do not realize that a person must read stacks and stacks of books, to even come-close to comprehending WHY Gender is such a Big Deal in most cultures (especially American culture, which is extremely Repressed and dysfunctional).
I have been asking myself Gender-related questions since I was a small child. Unfortunately, being raised in an environment that precluded the possibility of asking my parents any questions, or talking about such things in any other circumstances, all I had were Books.
Obviously, Kate has read her fair share of books, magazines, Psychological arguments (I mean views), etc. Luckily, she wrote about her research, personal experiences, the challenges involved with living "Alternative Lifestyles" and society's response to people dropping out of the tribe....
The most inspiring and interesting concept I found in this work, was the idea that "Gender" is a "Tribal" concept. If you do not act the way your Tribe ("Male," "Female" / "Man," "Woman") WANTS you to act, you get kicked-out.
I enjoy studying Anthropology and this concept makes more sense than a lot of the other theories I have read.
When Kate puts things into perspective, and shows (easily) that the Man Tribe vs. Woman Tribe theory is in-action every day, in most cultures....it is like a Revelation.
When you read this book, you realize that Males act as-if they are a Phallic Cult & Females act as-if they are a Non-phallic Cult. Both Cults struggle to preserve their Born adherents and Demand they remain in the Cult of their birth (much like someone being born into a Religious Cult, from-which you cannot escape).
As I read Kate's book, I thought, "She should be writing Text books and Psychology papers....Anthropological Research."
It is wonderful to see someone bucking the System and providing an Insider's view of the Struggle between the Sexes.
I believe that if more people were honest with themselves, the Crime Rate, Depression, Homophobia, and numerous other Cultural Ignorance Factors would be reduced, phenomenally.
"Gender Outlaw" is a great start to educating the masses.
Gender issues have been confused, ridiculed, demonized and otherwise caused much unnecessary Grief for far too long. Patriarchal society has given us a Goofball, uneducated view of what Gender is, how it works, & WHY we are the way we are.
"Gender Outlaw" is a fresh, new perspective on Gender issues, and it is written in a humorous, easy to digest format.
Personally, I miss the 80's. It seems, people were a lot happier when they were Androgynous.

I've read many books on feminism and gender, most of the Ms magazine ilk, and all of one mind, spouting the message that William can have a doll, and Sally can be a doctor when she grows up. Mainstream feminism is carrying this message into the 21st century almost unchanged from the late 1960's. This type of book always leaves me feeling a little unsatisfied.

Kate Bornstein has written and book that attacks gender roles at the root, and not the flower. She is a male to female transsexual, in that she was identified as a boy at birth, and raised accordingly (there's a picture from her Bar Mitzvah), and was later surgically altered to look like a woman when she stands naked.

She has a woman's body, and a female name, and prefers the pronoun "she," but Bornstein does not claim a gender in the way gender exists as a social construct. Few things are as personal as gender, and no one has a right to dictate another person's gender, or even that a person claim a gender. She talks about men, and women, and everyone in between. The "everyone in between," however, are not sexless celibates nursing their melancholia in solitude; they are sexual beings like anyone else.

Bornstein, by dispensing with gender, opens up sexual possibilities that were previously unthought of. There's lots of sex in this book.

This book is not an apologetic for transsexualisn, or gender dysphoria. If anything, it is in your face regarding not only personal choices, but anyone who would dare to judge someone else's choices. This is not a plea for understanding, as books on transsexualism usually are, not a heart-breaking tale of emotional pain, rejection and confusion. Bornstein tells the truth of her story, and gives you the options of recognizing the truth for what it is, or continue living in a Fool's Paradise.

And in captivating narrative voice. Her style reflects her attitude, and you have no trouble hearing her in your head. This, to me, is the mark of a good author.

I haven't laughed this hard about anything in a while. Great book for those who are or know a trans-anyone. It may not be a roadmap for treatment, but it makes the journey more enjoyable! I love this book!!!!

Kate Bornstein has written a fabulous book about what it means to be differently gendered. Her experience of being male, being female, being something else entirely, has lead her to ask the question "What is gender, anyway?" This book is the beginning of an answer to that question.

Boornstein does not pretend to know the answers to the questions she raises. For the most part, the critical act in this book is raising the questions at all. And even when she has worked out an answer for herself, she is extremely clear (with herself and with the reader) that the boundaries of that answer pretty much end where her body ends and the rest of the world begins.

Her experience acts as a prism through which she views everything else about the world (about theatre, about "the lesbian community", about straight marriage, about loving, about medicine and therapy). Her sideways view of things that had previously seemed solid to me helped me re-orient my vision of the world as it is, and as it might be.

Come to this book with an open mind, and reading it will open your mind even farther. It is absolutely not required that you agree with everything she has to say, that you interpret her observations the way she does, that you experience the world the way she does. Whatever answers you find for yourself, traveling with this author through her world of questions is a ride which should not be missed.

A pleasant blend of biography, comedy and cultural gender theory, Bornstein posits gender as a cult like structure, to which membership is compulsory. She critiques the prevailing notions about the relationship between anatomy and gender and envisages a new gender model based on fluidity and transgression. While the book is aimed at a wide market, her bibliography is extensive.

Seeing gender as simply men and women keeps us locked into our ignorance of the fluidity of our roles, identities, preferences, and sense of self. During our lives, we see ourselves differently at different times. What makes us who we are is complicated, interesting, and often surprising. Author Kate Bornstein reminds us that the simple dichotomy that most people want in gender simply doesn't exist. Asking ourselves the hard questions helps us see ourselves and others as people-beyond gender and its expectations. This is a refreshing book in a society that wants to place everyone into neat little boxes. ~~Joan Mazza, author of DREAM BACK YOUR LIFE; DREAMING YOUR REAL SELF; WHO'S CRAZY ANYWAY? and 3 books in The Guided Journal Series with Writer's Digest Books/Walking Stick Press.