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49 of 50 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
Well-written; the best book I've read on the subject. The commentary on the social aspects of narcissism makes this author's approach relevant to every reader. Practical, realistic coping strategies as well as models for good-enough parenting. Great book for parents and teenagers to read together!
Synopsis: Narcissism is a healthy, necessary stage twice in a...
Published on Oct. 30 2003

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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars good overview
I admit to being disappointed in this book. Even so, it was a useful overview of a pervasive problem, one that faces most of us much of the time: how do we deal with self-absorbed narrcisists without being untrue to ourselves?
Things I liked about the book include the use of illuminating examples, the checklists and suggested courses of action in dealing with...
Published on Aug. 27 2002 by Marcy L. Thompson


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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Provides Validation, May 26 2002
By A Customer
While the book does give a clear understanding of where narcissism comes from, other books have done that as well. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU?, however, provided me with validation that what I have been experiencing is, indeed, a narcissistic relationship. This was important because narcissists are excellent at taking their faults (or what they perceive as faults) and resulting shame and passing it onto their significant other. It is very easy to believe that they are right, thereby beginning the slow destruction of one of our most important assets, self-esteem. This book will teach you that it is not always about you and, in fact, in a narcissistic relationship, it is the illusions of grandiosity and perfection that the narcissist has, that will very likely lead to the demise of the relationship. While they may believe it is all your fault because they are perfect, this book will show you that it is not. I highly recommend this book to anyone who thinks they are in or have been in a narcissistic relationship of any sort. It will validate your feelings, I guarantee it.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars good overview, Aug. 27 2002
By 
Marcy L. Thompson (Sammamish, WA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I admit to being disappointed in this book. Even so, it was a useful overview of a pervasive problem, one that faces most of us much of the time: how do we deal with self-absorbed narrcisists without being untrue to ourselves?
Things I liked about the book include the use of illuminating examples, the checklists and suggested courses of action in dealing with particular kinds of issues, and the excellent explanation of what narrcissism is and where it comes from. In fact, the examples she gave of narcissism in action were all extremely good and useful. After reading several books on the subject, I have to say I think she does the best job of providing examples and elucidating them.
Things I did not like about the book include the fact that since she covers so very much ground, much of it is covered superficially. One thing she did frequently that eventually grated on me a lot was to include a disclaimer right before offering advice about how to proceed in some particular kind of encounter with a narcissist. This disclamer essentially said "make sure you aren't being guilty of any narcissism before you start". Well, that makes sense. But one of the things the book makes clear is that narcissists can't really see that they are doing anything wrong at all. And so, I had to wonder exactly how is the reader supposed to determine whether, in this case, she is acting rationally or narcissistically?
In conjunction with other books, I think this one is useful. However, be prepared for a certain level of superficiality.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A LIttle Short In An Urgent Department, Aug. 5 2003
By A Customer
This book is excellent, wish it had been around a few decades ago. However, the author very nearly implies that the narcissistic parent would have to be a violent, antisocial type for the adult child to justify imposing distance. That's like saying your spouse has to beat you bloody before you are justified from walking away from an abusive marriage. I wish the author had discussed deliberate estrangement as a way of opting out of a hopeless parental relationship that isn't physically violent. More adult children who need to do it might have felt better about it. There comes a time when we must all "let go" of our children, no matter how feckless and troublesome they are. The same is true for our parents even if they are older and feign helplessness. Believe me, if they know nothing else it is how to take care of themselves.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read, Jan. 13 2014
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This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
If you have narcissism in your family you must read this book. It raises your awareness and helps you cope with the craziness the narcissist creates! It confirms that you are not the crazy one!
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4.0 out of 5 stars Putting perspective in mucky dynamics, Dec 10 2013
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This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
Narcissism is so honoured in our society. It's what is enables many leaders to be who they are. It truly does have its positive aspects; but, beware, work hard, define and defend your personal boundaries to insure you stay an integral self worthy contributing individual.
All the best to those that live those fascinating leaders of this marvellous world.
If you've lost your way, need definition and a gentle push to accept the situation, please take the time to read this small but powerful and disturbing book. It's well worth the read.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Well written, extremely eye opening., Sept. 23 2013
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This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
I would recommend this product to anyone trying to find out why their relationship may not be working. Narcicissm is extremely complex. I saw my ex-husband in this so clearly for the first time. Now that I understand his behaviour I now know how to protect myself and avoid choosing someone with narcicisstic tendencies in the future
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4.0 out of 5 stars Great information - exactly what I was looking for, June 2 2013
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This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
I enjoyed reading this book. It's easy to understand especially when you are not a health professional.
The examples are pertinent and are common to everyday life.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, informative, and to the point, Feb. 26 2013
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This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
Having lived with several people who I can now identify as narcissistic, some to a considerable degree, i found Hotchkiss's exploration of the topic quite revealing. A number of points she made had me look back and evaluate some of the women in my past in a new light, even though I thought I had a good understanding of them. It's important that she underlines the fact that such people do not change - at least not very willingly - nor do they seek treatment. Either develop considerable patience and feed their egos in small doses, or abandon and avoid them. There is no middle ground.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars weLEAD Book Review by the Editor of leadingtoday, Oct. 29 2003
By 
Greg L. Thomas (Litchfield, Ohio United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (Paperback)
In classical mythology, Narcissus was a young man who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water and wasted away from unsatisfied desire. In modern terms a narcissist is a vain, self-absorbed, arrogant individual with a grand sense of entitlement. Narcissistic tendencies include the need to be perfect or in control at all times.
Narcissistic attitudes and behaviors are epidemic in our society. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that one out of every one hundred persons meets the criteria of severe narcissism.
According to the author, "our culture is full of narcissistic influences that numb us to the reality of the problems we face." In fact, unreality is the hallmark of narcissism. Their distortions of reality can cause others to question themselves and doubt their own perceptions.
Narcissists will go to great lengths to promote fantasies that sustain their grandiosity and omnipotence. Many prominent elected officials, sports idols, and entertainment figures are narcissists. They also head large corporations and lead flocks of the faithful. Many of us encounter unhealthy narcissism in some form every day.
Narcissists see themselves as "special people." They know better than you do. They are also very shame-sensitive. They avoid shame at all costs. They are unlikely to self-correct their intrusive or inconsiderate behavior just because you call attention to it. When failures occur, they portray themselves as victims and blame others for their misfortune. Gossip, backbiting, and bootlicking are prevalent in work environments dominated by a narcissist.
The narcissist sees power as his due. This is why many achieve management positions. In such positions they practice stretching employees until they break and then get rid of them. This is called "rubber band management." Narcissists are also very aware of shifts in the balance of power.
In this book author Sandy Hotchkiss presents an excellent general description of narcissism and covers how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. Knowing the narcissist's weaknesses and tendencies will help you effectively deal with narcissism.
Chapter 16 is titled "Narcissists at Work: The Abuse of Power." This chapter is well worth the price of the book. It covers the narcissistic problems of poor interpersonal boundaries, scapegoating, shameless exploitation, envy in the workplace, and ways narcissists seduce us. The chapter ends by providing four guidelines for survival with a narcissist in power.
If you find yourself working in a toxic environment headed by a narcissistic manager, you will want to read Why is it Always About YOU?.
Review By Dr. J. Howard Baker
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Knowledge is Strength!, May 9 2002
By A Customer
It was less than a year ago that I realized that the numerous and nameless issues I had with my parents, particularly my mother, did in fact have a name - narcissism. Since then, I have read a number of books, trying to get a handle on what this all means. Most of them were quite good and provided insights on their behavior and motivations. This one, however, was the best in terms of explaining how some individuals get this way, how it might affect those around them (all too many ways), and how to protect yourself from all of the emotional hits they will throw at you. The explanations were down to earth, indicating that the author has probably had all too much experience dealing with this problem. Her insights and understanding of the problems those around narcissists experience, both in family and work situations, is phenomenal. I just wish I had had these insights 15 years ago.
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Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss (Paperback - Aug. 7 2003)
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