Auto boutiques-francophones Simple and secure cloud storage SmartSaver Cyber Monday Deals Week in Home & Kitchen All-New Kindle Paperwhite Music Deals Store SGG Tools

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars57
4.3 out of 5 stars
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

on May 4, 2015
Great read...makes more sense of my life (to me)
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on November 23, 2014
There is a kind of stigma attached to the word “introvert.” There are connotations of being aloof, brooding and uninterested in other people, and just generally anti-social. I think of Ricky Gervais’ character of the self-absorbed dentist in the movie “Ghost Town.” The word “extrovert” has no such negative connotations, however, but brings to mind characteristics of being friendly and more of a people-person.

Even our dictionaries perpetuate this kind of thinking, as author Marti Olsen Laney points out. Introverts are described as being preoccupied with the self, lacking sociability, passive and even narcissists. Look up “extrovert” and you’ll find definitions and synonyms of a much more positive sort.

Our society is geared toward extroverts. They form the majority, outnumbering introverts 3 to 1. They are more vocal, thus amplifying their majority. And our culture in general values the bold and energetic over the quiet and reflective. Because of this, introverts may think that extroversion is the ideal to strive for. They may try to live their whole lives as extroverts, and when they fail, have to deal with feelings of shame and inadequacy. It’s exhausting to try to be something you are not.

Introverts have gotten a lot of bad press, says Laney, largely because they are misunderstood, even by themselves. One of her purposes in this book, then, is to level the playing field somewhat by clarifying the misconceptions and showing the positives of being an introvert.

She begins by showing that the primary difference between introverts and extroverts is in their energy source. Extroverts are energized by the external world, by activities, people, places and things; they are energy spenders. Introverts, by contrast, draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions; they are energy conservers and can feel overwhelmed and exhausted by crowded social situations.

Nevertheless, introversion is not the same thing as shyness. Shyness is social anxiety, a lack of confidence in social situations, a fear of what other people think of you. It is a treatable disorder. Introverts are also not by definition anti-social; they’re just social in a different way. Socializing with many people, engaging in chitchat, “working the room,” they find exhausting. They prefer meaty conversations and find them energizing and nourishing.

There are actually significant physiological differences in how the brains of introverts work compared to those of extroverts. They have different blood flow pathways in their brains, and these pathways use different neurotransmitters. For extroverts it is dopamine, and they need adrenaline to make enough dopamine. Thus extroverts feel good when they have places to go and people to see. Laney refers to this energy-spending, sympathetic nervous system as the Full-Throttle system.

Introverts, however, use an entirely different neurotransmitter, acetylcholine, and are highly sensitive to too much dopamine, which makes them feel overstimulated. They utilize primarily the energy-conserving, parasympathetic nervous system which can be called the Throttle-Down system.

Laney contends that “It is my belief that these two powerful primary systems, the Full-Throttle (sympathetic) and the Throttle-Down (parasympathetic), are the basic foundations of introverted and extroverted temperaments.”

Introverts are not dysfunctional extroverts; their differences are physiological. Try as they might, because they need to think before they speak, process thoughts through a longer pathway in the brain, and have a need for depth rather than breadth, introverts appear to be generally slower than extroverts. They may well identify with the tortoise in the fable of the tortoise and the hare. “Although some of us may have tried to be hares our whole lives, we may not be aware of how much better we would feel if we slowed down.” The tortoise in the fable, after all, did pretty well.

Consider the tulip. “The tulip is an introvert among flowers,” we read. “Given the right conditions, tulips are hardy and bloom longer than many other flowers. But they won’t bloom at all if conditions are inhospitable. Introverts are like that, too.” And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. “Because of the way we are put together, we require a particular kind of care and feeding. We need to harness our energy, get the right rhythm, and implement our objectives while protecting our internal resources.”

“I sometimes think introverts were made for an earlier time in history,” Laney muses. “Life had a slower tempo then.” This is not just wistful thinking, but serves a useful purpose of pointing out that the dizzying pace of life in our day is not the norm for most of history which has preceded us, so if introverts have a hard time keeping up, perhaps the fault lies less with themselves and more with the expectations of our day. But given the reality of our hectic lives, introverts can nevertheless thrive if they come to understand some things about themselves and how they are wired.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on October 29, 2014
I didn't enjoy this book. The author threats introverts as fragile little beings that require special care and the advice comes off a bit condescending. I suppose if you're just beginning to learn about this aspect of your personality it may be an eyeopener, but if you already possess a reasonable degree of self-awareness and your coping mechanisms are well established, there's not a lot to learn here. It's like a big group hug for introverts minus the group and the hug.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on September 14, 2014
I was not new to knowing I was an introvert and some of the major characteristics of being one, but Marti's book really put things into a clearer perspective. Helped me understand why I feel the way I do at times and what I can do to help myself explore the less dominant extrovert within me.

There's nothing wrong with being introverted, it's just how we are. It's important to educate the extroverts why we are the way we are and how we can work together to accept each other's strengths and differences.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on June 29, 2014
Discover yourself and others when you read this. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert (or don't know), this well-written book has plenty of examples to help us understand each other. And ourselves most of all. Parent Alert - a Must-Read for both Mom and Dad!!!
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on February 2, 2014
I always wondered why I had a hard time making friends, why I didn't seem to always quite fit in. Reading this book has given me more of an understanding of how introverts have difficulties in society and how we can honour ourselves for who we are, I don't think you'll find a better book on the subject out there
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on January 16, 2014
This is my third book I read in the last few years on introversion and this one proved to be the best for me. The information is easy to understand and to relate to. I particularly found insightful the parts about energy drains and short-term memory lapses. And the Kindle version is good to have as I will want to read some sections again and again.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on December 4, 2013
I always wondered why was I so different. This book was very helpful to me to understand how I think, react to situations and helped me with coping skills.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on June 9, 2013
In my almost six decades of life, I always knew I was a bit different from others. The term "shy" always came to mind, but it failed to really explain how I acted, and felt, in my life. As I read through this book, it was as if a curtain had been drawn back, and so much of my life was explained. Over and over I muttered to myself "That's me", and "That's exactly how I feel". I cannot thank the author enough for a book which really is life changing for me. Thank you very much... from one introvert, to another.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on May 19, 2013
I have personally come to know or have read about calm and quiet people in my lifetime___ my wife, my mother on hindsight as I was only 7 when she passed away, and other great quiet, introvert people. How great they are...very calm, quiet, and calculating. I find them more intelligent than loud braggarts.

Having read these books and of course your excellent service (2 to 3 weeks advance per advice), I highly recommend it to the general public especially the extroverts to have a better working relationship with these quiet running geniuses.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
Customers who viewed this item also viewed

The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World by Sophia Dembling (Paperback - Dec 4 2012)
CDN$ 10.83

The Highly Sensitive Person
The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron (Paperback - June 2 1997)
CDN$ 13.79