Customer Reviews

The Sociopath Next Door

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Recently, a number of books have appeared that identify a bracket of `people without conscience'. Among these we have Flipnosis, Without conscience, In sheep's clothing, alongside this book and several others. All of these books warn us that there are a proportion of evil people in society who feel no guilt, thus they become powerful manipulators who may or may not commit hideous crimes. We are presented with a number of profiles and then instructed to avoid contact with the beast as much as possible. The result is that we will scan down a mental checklist looking for these people, and our filters might be quite biased as we attempt to fit various people we have known into various brackets.

What a lot of this literature apparently fails to do is to identify the full complexity, gradations, and variations in the conditions described (except for Robert Hare's book, 'Without Conscience', which is a scholarly book that concentrates on real psychopaths).The people described in these books show a considerable variety of behaviours, and with a little reflection we can see that the situation is infinitely more subtle than we might at first think. Despite this, the sensationalism causes us to think in terms of polar extremes.

Martha Stout's book offers us a good look at the beast because she has worked with many of these people. Her knowledge enables her to very readably step inside the beast and narrate the kinds of thought processes that take place. This is done with such credibility that we almost empathise with the people under scrutiny. In fact, if she didn't also narrate the thoughts of the `normal' people inside these stories with equal skill we would probably feel rather uneasy about the author herself!

A message comes across in all of these books - and in most reviews of these books. Certain evil people see the possession of conscience as something that prevents the rest of us from getting what we really want, consequently they see conscience as a weakness that we have. They consider themselves to be above the laws and rules that govern the rest of us and hate being told what to do. Although they do not possess conscience themselves, they can gain a thorough understanding of the boundaries of conscience that govern the rest of us, hence they can become highly skilled at making other people feel guilty, and can use this skill to considerable effect. They become skilled manipulators who make people behave like puppets as they pull various strings.

Although capable of committing acts of extreme cruelty without remorse, most of these people would probably never go this far. Instead, these people will find that they can use their `power' to more productive effect elsewhere in society, and indeed they do. They might effectively bully their way right to the top. The range of options open to these people is, after all, rather large, running along a scale from murder at one end, through bodily harm, through fracturing, through intimidation, through manipulative story-telling, to verbal bullying at the mild end of the scale.

Maybe there are many gradations of conscience rather it being a simple matter of with or without. I would like to think so, and I would like to think that many of the unpleasant and manipulative people in this world DO have some moral standards. 4% without conscience? This means that I should know a dozen potential killers. I think not. My girlfriend has a highly manipulative boss, but we both agree that her boss has a conscience. When we are confronted with a real psychopath the danger is real, and obviously we have to avoid them. But I really believe that most manipulators are simply people who have found a set of behaviours that enable them to get what they want. No more: No less. In fact, rather than isolating the manipulator, could I suggest working from the other end - maybe some of us are too nice and others take advantage? However, if you know you are dealing with a psychopath I suggest you RUN.

Robert Hare's book, which is academic and completely credible, tells us that there are probably 100,000 psychopaths in New York City (population 8,214,426), which works out at about 1.2%, and he suggests that at some time in our lives (singular) we may well be at risk, either physically or financially. With this in mind, Martha stout's book is essential reading because it gives very readable accounts of the sort of risks we might face. Hare also warns that it is not for amateurs to try to give clinical assessments, so we should all avoid the temptation to label people unless we are fully qualified.

I ordered this book just because I saw it on TV and seemed interesting to read. The book itself is a really good read if you are into sociopaths and psychopaths. It isn't stories in regards to people who are sociopaths but she does use anecdotes to help understand that there are more then just one kind of sociopath. The book itself is more of a discussion in trying to get people to understand that the sociopath isn't always violent as movies and tv make them out to be.

This is a fascinating book, which should be regarded as an excellent primer to an underrated and poorly recognised subject. As a healthcare practitioner, and victim of a sociopathic "colleague", I could relate to every page, but yet ended up with a clearer understanding of the condition. Over the years I have found it difficult to fully explain, even to educated friends, how clever, devious and manipulative these people can be. The unfortunate connotation with psychopathic killers is always there and any warnings and descriptions of "evil" characteristics are quietly assumed to be exaggerated. The book is an easy and comprehensive read, while still providing a reasonable overview of the known science behind the disorder. The listed 13 warning signs are very insightful and likely to be helpful to every reader. After finishing the book I simply wanted my family members and friends to read it too, just in case!
Don't worry about the occasional poor review - maybe about 4% of reviewers are - - well, different.

good seller quick shipping book in great condition horribly written book but not sellers fault

great seller - decent shipping recieviong time thank you

This was a really shocking book to read and taking a look at the figures Stout presents - one in twenty five people are sociopathic - it really boggles the mind that this knowledge isn't incorporated into our educational system! Nobody really and truly knows about it, or talks about it seriously for what it is: a constant lurking presence that could enter a normal person's life at any moment. And because we're not aware about it in a very in-depth way, how are we ever going to deal with it effectively?

That's why this book is a must read for everyone with a conscience, and it's certainly a subject that has received far too little attention. One wonders, is that intentional?

As the title says, this is a must read book for everyone (that is, everyone who is not a psychopath). The only thing I don't like about it is the use the word "sociopath" instead of "psychopath". But it is a very minor flaw in a great book.

Traditionally, books on psychopathy were mostly about the inmate population, serial killers and so on. That creates a dangerous sense of complacency. After all, the psychopaths are easily recognizable brutal killers and they have all been locked up in high-security prisons, right? Unfortunately, it is not so.

In this book, Dr. Stout has done a great service for humanity in describing, persuasively and chillingly, the psychopaths that are among us. They can be anyone, from a successful and ruthless executive to the neighbor next door. Statistics shows that one in 25 people are psychopaths and they cannot be easily recognized even by experts.

What makes the psychopaths dangerous is that they have no conscience whatsoever. No remorse, no empathy, no emotion to constrain any of their acts even if the act causes great harm to their closest family members. And because of the same characteristics, they are often very successful in our society.

So pick up the book and read it now because chances are good that you will encounter a psychopath in your life. And what you don't know about them CAN hurt you. Also read "Political Ponerology" by Andrew Lobaczewski.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals like Hannibal Lechter or Ted Bundy.

Martha Stout in this book reveals how a shocking 4 percent of the population have the same chief symptom, namely a complete lack of conscience. The difference is that the majority with this mental disposition operate within the laws and only rarely get caught.

The book is easy to read without having a psych degree and Martha Stout uses many examples to show how these people charm and deceive their way through life in total disregard for the impact on other people.

Martha Stout further teaches how to identify a sociopath and how to protect oneself from the impact of one.

I found the book clear and light and also a celebration of the 96% who do have a conscience.

The book is well worth reading along with "In sheeps clothing" by George Simon, "Political Ponerology" by Andrzej Lobaczewski, "The mask of sanity" by Hervey Checkley and "Without conscience" by Robert Hare, that all deal with different aspects of the phenomenon.

I enjoyed reading this book and learned a lot from it. Martha Stout (Ph. D.), in "The Sociopath Next Door", looks at the 1 in 25 people who are sociopaths: people who cannot love, but who are charming, easily bored, and bent on winning and domination. Also, she explores what sociopaths lack: a conscience.

She uses insights from psychology and related sciences, the study of cultures, and theology to help us recognize sociopaths, cope with their destructive ways, protect ourselves, and warn others. She, also, addresses related issues including why we do not speak out, how to tell whom we can trust, and how our culture can help or hinder the effect of people who lack a conscience.

While her research is rooted in the arts and sciences, her book is very readable and includes examples gleaned from her 25 years of work in the psychology field to illustrate her point and give us an "inside look" of what it is like to be a sociopath or their victim. I think that people from all walks of life that have to deal with people who lack a conscience and empathy and people in the helping professions will benefit from this book.

This book isn't bad at all, although it took me a while to get into it, I took a chance on it anyway. This book is easily read and written for the average person. My reason for reading it was purely self defense, but after I got halfway through, I found out I had dated at least one sociopath in my life. Also a good friend mine recently ended a yearly relationship with someone we can now see was a serious sociopath. He used all the tricks on her, extreme flattery, compulsive liar, unfaithful, history of sexual harassment, really didn't bond with his kids, took advantage of everyone, from family to business associates, yet sought pity from everyone, and really had no friends. That relationship drained and devastated her and left her wondering how she could have been so blind. But all along she kept ignoring her instincts and giving him the benefit of doubt, the benefit of conscience. I am sending this book to her in the hopes she can see that it wasn't her 'fault', and no, she is not dumb by any means. She just trusted someone who didn't deserve it and who was a master manipulator.

On the other hand "the Sociopath Next Door" is not perfect and it does have some mixed values. The author limits her discussion to psychology that I enjoyed and learned from. Unfortunately, however, some of her writing is infused with the author's politics, which frequently cause her to try to link sociopath with right wing politics, thereby undercutting her credibility within her own field.

I honestly recommend everyone to get there hands on this book, including my friends and family to make them aware on what goes on out there. You never know when one will cross your path and you need know to defend yourself at the same time.

This is an excellent book that everyone should read. It is amazing to realise that some people do not have conscience. Unbelievable.