Customer Reviews

Wedded Strangers The Challenges Of Russian American Marriages

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I have travelled to Russia twice so far and find the place mysterious, captivating, entrancing, and frustrating. The people are equally mesmerizing. I've wondered about some very different-from-California behavior I observed over there. This book explains a great deal of what I observed.

However, what makes this book special is that it is also a GREAT READ! It's entertaining enough to draw you in. You know all those books about life improvement you get but never read? This isn't one of them. It's a genuine "read for enjoyment" book, which in addition packs a lot of information.

I would recommend this book for anyone even remotely contemplating a cross-cultural relationship, or considering a trip to Russia.

This a a must read for any guy considering a trip to Russia! I will be going in Oct 2003, and have learned new things about the Russian culture, and how they handle various situations. I plan on reading again before my departure.

I highly reccomend this book, not just for those who are interested in the challenges that come with Russian-American marriage, but also for those people who have grown up with the US mindset and wish to learn more about the Russian mindset.

Not every story in this book is a happy one. But that matches up with real life. I know two Russian-American couples -- one failed, and the other succeeded.

Reading this book will help you not only understand the Russian mindset, but will also help prepare you for potiental problems down the road, if you choose to enter into this sort of relationship.

How people adapt to their new lives in their new country varies from person to person, and this book shows how different people can react differently to the same thing. And yet it ties radically different actions to a similar mind-set.

The book isn't perfect, and has a few minor flaws. (For instance, they claim the concept/word "Секретность" (privacy) doesn't exist in the Russian language.) But despite the few errors, it is well worth the read. As a plus, it's a very easy read. Once I started on the book, I found that I was unable to stop...

I had to stop reading this book. I am just beginning a relationship with a Russian man, who has been living in the U.S. for several years. The book, at least through much of the first half, talks about the failure of all these Russian-American relationships and has very little good to say about Russian men. I'm not sure how applicable some of these attitudes are to younger Russian men. I mean, I'm sure some of these values are still ingrained in Russian society, re: sex and women's roles, but I found the book discouraging for my relationship. It made me question things about the guy I'm seeing before there was anything to really question. Perhaps it will be more appropriate of a read if we start having difficulties in understanding one another. Until then...I'll put it up my shelf. My suggestion - if you're in a Russian-American relationship and needing advice because you've hit a rocky road, read the book. It probably explains some underlying cultural themes that are causing difficulty for you two. If you're just curious and starting a new relationship...hold out until you have problems. Hopefully you won't need the book.

When I ordered this book, my US born husband said it's probably going to be useless for us as it sounds like it is targeted to the Americans who marry the "mail order brides".I was pleasantly surprised though to find out that the book was very informative and helped me sort some issues out (mainly reassuring me that having these sort of issues is not 'just us'). The author has been married to a Russian, so she has an 'insider' prospective of the matter. I thought the descriptions of the cultural differences were pretty accurate, with lots of real life examples (I can relate to many of them). And now that my husband and I have our first son (1.5 year old) I can't agree more that you face the biggest challenges when you start raising a child.

On a few occasions I thought the author was taking sides (usually the American side). Perhaps so was I. The truth is in the middle if there is one in these matters. Most of the case studies were done long time ago, so a lot of things do not stand true nowadays, as Russia and its people have changed a lot and is constantly changing while integrating into the rest of the world, but at the same time (hopefully) remaining what it has always been - a mystery for the outside world!

On another note - the book may be helpful to intercultural marriages not only involving Russians, but also any nationality from the former Soviet Union.

I bought this book because my boyfriend is Ukrainian and I was seeking to understand which of his habits were culturally driven and which were merely personality-based. I had some idea, but sought confirmation, and Visson's book gave that, in a well-written, engrossing package. Wedded Strangers serves as a sober reminder that cross-cultural relationships have an extra level of difficulty, and that they shouldn't be entered into without preparation and understanding.

I have a few wishes/suggestions for any future editions of this book.
--that experiences of more couples should be included.
--that younger, post-Communist couples be explored in a different chapter
--perhaps a postscript on love in the other former socialist republics
--I would also like to hear about a few more of the successful unions.

Perhaps the reason Visson didn't do any of that in the 2000 edition is that there simply wasn't room. But when you are seeking understanding of the one you love, you can't get enough...and I was left craving more information at the end of the book.

That said, the current edition of the book remains extremely valuable--especially for those Americans who have had little or no exposure to Russian culture and are starting from scratch. Those men who go shopping for brides in the former Soviet Union should not be allowed to leave without reading this book first.

WEDDED STRANGERS is a great book for those guys who think that marrying a Russian woman is basically the same as marrying an American. They are all women, right? Wrong. It can be very difficult being with a woman from another country. I know, because I have a friend who married a filipino. It can be hard at times. Not because of the language but of having different views on life. It's hard to explain, but this book can help out a lot. Another good book to read on this subject is WOMEN, SEX AND DATING, FOR THE SINGLE MAN. It has the most complete, up-to-date advice. It has a lot of good tips and ideas to use before even doing something like this. It also has a great chapter on correspondence services, and what they are REALLY about. It was very interesting on how these services work. This book goes deep into marrying a woman from another country. Buy both books, and you will get everything you need to know.

WEDDED STRANGERS is a great book for those guys who think that marrying a Russian woman is basically the same as marrying an American. They are all women, right? Wrong. It can be very difficult being with a woman from another country. I know, because I have a friend who married a filipino. It can be hard at times. Not because of the language but of having different views on life. It's hard to explain, but this book can help out a lot. Another good book to read on this subject is WOMEN, SEX AND DATING, FOR THE SINGLE MAN. It has the most complete, up-to-date advice. It has a lot of good tips and ideas to use before even doing something like this. It also has a great chapter on correspondence services, and what they are REALLY about. It was very interesting on how these services work. This book goes deep into marrying a woman from another country. Buy both books, and you will get everything you need to know.

WEDDED STRANGERS is a great book for those guys who think that marrying a Russian woman is basically the same as marrying an American. They are all women, right? Wrong. It can be very difficult being with a woman from another country. I know, because I have a friend who married a filipino. It can be hard at times. Not because of the language but of having different views on life. It's hard to explain, but this book can help out a lot. Another good book to read on this subject is WOMEN, SEX AND DATING, FOR THE SINGLE MAN. It has the most complete, up-to-date advice. It has a lot of good tips and ideas to use before even doing something like this. It also has a great chapter on correspondence services, and what they are REALLY about. It was very interesting on how these services work. This book goes deep into marrying a woman from another country. Buy both books, and you will get everything you need to know.

WEDDED STRANGERS is a great book for those guys who think that marrying a Russian woman is basically the same as marrying an American. They are all women, right? Wrong. It can be very difficult being with a woman from another country. I know, because I have a friend who married a filipino. It can be hard at times. Not because of the language but of having different views on life. It's hard to explain, but this book can help out a lot. Another good book to read on this subject is WOMEN, SEX AND DATING, FOR THE SINGLE MAN. It has the most complete, up-to-date advice. It has a lot of good tips and ideas to use before even doing something like this. It also has a great chapter on correspondence services, and what they are REALLY about. It was very interesting on how these services work. This book goes deep into marrying a woman from another country. Buy both books, and you will get everything you need to know.