Customer Reviews

Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner

5 star:		(48)
4 star:		(15)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Amazon.com Review for Relationship Rescue
Author: Phillip C. McGraw

We are a group of five college seniors from Villanova University who have spent a semester researching and reviewing best selling self-help books on the subject of relationships. We evaluated five texts after reviewing academic literature specifically on the topics of: commitment, trust, conflict, verbal communication, & intimacy. In order to make you a more informed consumer, we hope to provide you with an educated insider view of Relationship Rescue by Dr Phillip C. McGraw.

McGraw's intent is to "rescue" relationships, and get partners to reconnect by first evaluating their individual selves. He challenges readers to address the truths about themselves, and get in touch with their core of consciousness. When the individual can recognize his or her inner strength, and eliminate "bad spirits," he or she has the power to lift the partner, and get the most out of the relationship. While there are partner exercises in the end, this book for the most part is geared toward the individual. McGraw provides a "7-step process for reconnecting with one's partner", which included a series of personal inventories, journal entries, and self-evaluation. By performing these activities, and engaging in a 14-day process of self-disclosure and relationship evaluation with one's partner, one will grow toward a better relationship.

In our evaluation of five major topics, we found the following in Relationship Rescue:

Commitment - In the chapter entitled, "Reconnecting with Your Partner," McGraw addresses the personal dedication component of commitment found in academic research. This basically says that commitment includes the individual's desire to improve the relationship. He also stressed the importance of physical activity in finding commitment.

Trust - While McGraw did not address trust directly, there are some connections to be made to ideas presented in academic research. It seems to be generally understood that the disposition of the individual greatly effects trust, and an overall personal deceptive nature will negatively affect the relationship. McGraw's goal is to get the individual to remove these negative feelings. Also, a great deal of the book revolves around self-disclosure, which is imperative to developing trust. However, this all depends on how the individual approaches the exercises in the book.

Conflict - In regards to this topic, McGraw touches on the idea that conflict is inevitable. We found this to be an overwhelming theme in research conducted on the topic. Conflict can be constructive if it is done properly, and partners remain in control. He gives rules for "fighting with your partner" which focused on the environment (physical and mental) that the disagreement is taking place in. He also focused on managing one's differences, because there are some that cannot be fixed, and therefore must be embraced.

Verbal Communication Skills- McGraw makes it clear that this is not a book that addresses communication theories. Therefore, it was not his intention to lay out specific communication skills. Instead, he focuses on inner attitudes. While a great deal of the exercises involve partner communication, McGraw does not address the verbal skills necessary for effective communication.

Intimacy - In this book, McGraw affirms the idea found in research that positive regard in the sense of acceptance and confirmation is necessary within a relationship. He also points out that the presence of affection does not make a difference in the relationship unless it is communicated to the partner. McGraw motivates the reader to do, and not just say what he or she feels to achieve intimacy. In regards to intimacy, the emphasis on self-disclosure throughout the book supported what we found in our research as well. In general, McGraw promotes individual behaviors that lead to love and increase intimacy.

Relationship Rescue is best for the topic of Intimacy.

Please feel free to check out our reviews on
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Getting the Love You Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix
Dating For Dummies by Dr. Joy Browne
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray

As a physician I have recommended this book to many of my patients whose relationships were in trouble. I feel Dr. Phil's approach is right on: you have to work on yourself first. Most people who feel their relationship is doomed tell me, "Well, my partner won't listen to me...", or "he/she isn't willing to do the work...". He has you look and work on yourself FIRST then involves you in seven steps. The couples I have recommended this book to have found it very helpful. There have been a few cases I have seen where the partner never participated in the process and my patients happily ended up moving on with their lives with the aid of this book.For those people who cannot afford or do not have access to therapy this book/program is wonderful (actually even if you do!). He "tells it like it is", and drills the point home that we are each responsible for the state our relationship and life are in (excepting cases of abuse). As Dr. Phil says you have to "get with the program" and work on yourself and relationship "until". A great self-help book.

Relationship Rescue is my pick as the top book of 2000.

This book deserves many more than five stars. It is as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide to improving your relationships as you can get without having a trained counselor present.

It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.

The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.

The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).

Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.

The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.

The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that this effort represented. It can help overcome a lot of thoughtlessness that may have preceded that sharing.

If your relationship is on the rocks, that idea of reconnecting can be scary. I was impressed to see that the book provides a 14 day program to help you with exercises that help reconnect you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Most counselors would probably not give you this much guidance.

You can improve the benefits you will find here by also using the excellent workbook that is sold separately. It contains many more questions and a convenient place to write them down. You can read my review of that as well, if you like.

One of the finest things in life is to have a great relationship with other people. This book gives you the necessary background to move in that direction. The rest is up to you, as the author says. Give it a shot! You have a great quality of life to win!

Me & my s/o have had problems from day one but we both tried to cover it up and work through them. After a year engagement we decided to set a date and plan the wedding. Something explosive happened in our relationship and we were at our end, the wedding was cancelled. It has caused us to basically give up and seperate. This is the last thing both of us wanted to do especially with 2 young children, but we didn't know what else to do but to take a break from one another, so I am setting to leave. After watching the relationship rescue episodes of Dr. Phil on television, I said I have to get this book - this is my only hope. I'm not even done with the book and I already feel confident that my relationship will work out just fine with time and dedication. Dr. Phil is down to earth, he doesn't play any games. I listen to the CD in my car on my way home from work since I never have time to read. Make sure you buy the Relationship Rescue workbook along with it! If your partner wants your relationship to be rescued he will go through this workbook with you. The CD will lift you up in ways you can't imagine...when everything else fails - you need to buy this cd!

If Karl Marx called religion the opiate for the masses, Dr. Phil has to be the crack of America.
Don't get me wrong; a lot of people need crack. In fact, they depend on it. The problem is: the proverbial crack starts doing the thinking for these people.

If you are into secular humanism, self-help, and basic atheist or agnostic, "I'll do it myself," philosophy, you will love this book.

Temporary fixes are not only fraudulent, they can be infinitely more dangerous when unsound psychological devices built on modern culture dupe one into believing in one's actual happiness (with oneself) with one's significant other; when the reality is: the relationship or one's identity could not be corroding any faster. Just look at Opera. I do not even need to explain myself. Those who want to see the truth, see it.

This book is exactly what I would expect from Opera's lap dog.

.... am I contributing or contaminating Amazon???
I'll contribute this: Dr. Phil looks like a dork, but has the sense of a horse. Get the book!

In his book "Relationship Rescue," Dr. Phil offers great guidelines on how to build a healthy relationship. He warns us against the devastating effect of the myths that exist in our society about relationships (i.e.: in a great relationship you never fight, you are romantic all the time, you only have common interests...) and encourages us instead to stop working on our partners in order to make them fit these unrealistic standards, and take a look at how we operate. For him the key is in realistically evaluating the state of your relationship, and becoming aware of what you do that sabotages it. If you don't like what you see and understand your role in it, you gain the power to change things and create the relationship that works for you.
In the book I particularly enjoyed this idea of giving up working on your partner and your relationship to make them better. I recently encountered this idea in the book "Working on your Relationship Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane. It is a very unique and soothing book with an immediate power of transformation and I enthusiastically recommend it to anyone interested in discovering novel ways to create meaningful, intimate and magical relationships. Check it out!

My last ray of hope was relationship rescue. My marriage and my soul was/were broken. I was not sure what I was in for-but if you can be brutally honest with the answers to the questions he ask's and follow through with the actions that need to take place-Your life will be brand new. We no longer fight, We no longer mis communicate-Life Rocks! Thanks Dr.Phil!!!

I was having a world of problems in my marriage and I did not know where to look. After being inspired by some of the things Dr. Phil says on TV, I decided to read this book. Boy am I glad I did! Dr. Phil has this ability to take it right to you and this is what I needed at the time. His words punched right through my walls of denial and forced me to make a real objective re-evaluation of myself and my relationship. It did wonders for me. After having this rejuvenating experience, I decided to explore and learn more about relationships and personal development. I have now found a more advanced book on relationships and personal development that is absolutely excellent! It is called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is more theoretical but an excellent read if you are one of those people who "gets it!" It has taken me one step closer to inner peace and happiness.

The thing about Dr. Phil is that 1)He knows what works and what doesn't and 2)He speaks in languauge that men understand.
I am plowing through this book right now and, for once in my life, I feel like I have a pathway to rehabilitating my marriage. If you're ready to be honest with yourself and your marriage is in trouble buy this book, read this book and see what happens...