Customer Reviews

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Since this is a topic of interest and a book I chose to help with a problem, I was really looking forward to reading it. As I started the book, I found there there were many Bible references and verses quoted. I was not looking for spirituality and, nowhere, in any of the reviews, was there any mention of a christian viewpoint. I am not opposed to it, but feel it should be apparant that there are many Biblical verses referenced.

Dr. Les Carter has done it again! No wonder he is called "America's Anger Expert." With The Anger Trap he has put together his years of experience and wisdom on this important subject to provide us with a way out of this insidious trap called anger. Years ago I read his first book on the subject, Good 'N Angry (now out of print, I believe), and more recently completed his very practical best-seller, The Anger Workbook. Both exercises helped me deal with issues that subtly yet surely were negatively affecting my life and relationships.

Now comes, I believe, Dr. Carter's "magnum opus." One of the values of The Anger Trap is that Carter not only identifies anger and it's nature, but deals with the root causes (such as fear, loneliness, rejection, insecurity, and especially pain.) "Angry people are hurting, fragile people," Carter points out. And, "At the heart of anger is a cry for respect." But, to me, one of the most insightful observations Carter makes is, "As illogical as it may be, it can seem to outside observers that chronically angry people have a strong commitment to keeping distasteful emotions alive." Carter encourages us to deal with these underlying causes if we are to have any kind of meaningful victory over anger.

The chapter on dependency and hidden insecurity (Chapter 6: "Insecurity's Hold on Angry People") is especially interesting and illuminating. In this chapter Carter discusses how angry people are so busy trying to make others take responsibility for their own emotional stability that they stay stuck in the anger they want to be free of. But, my favorite chapter is called "Higher Priorities," (Chapter 14) where Carter leads us down the path to deliverance from the destructive aspects of anger. He points out the need to make a commitment to traits like kindness, patience, and forgiveness. It shows what life can be like outside the anger trap.

Over the years I have found Dr. Carter's books to be right on target--insightful, easy-to-read, and filled with practical wisdom and application. The Anger Trap is no exception ... and a welcome addition to his valuable contributions. Everyone with any kind of anger issues should buy this book and digest it deliberately and carefully. As Dr. Carter reminds us, we all have choices. We can choose to face the ugly dimensions of our anger and be freed from this trap forever!

I know I will turn back to this book for reminders, but it is so well-written that the messages stick pretty well. No mumbo-jumbo, no tedious stories about other people's lives. It touches upon all of the things one needs to think about and approaches to overcoming inappropriate anger and angry responses. There are stories about other people, but they are not so specific that one cannot relate. In fact, every story of a real person carries an applicable message. I believe every chapter can be seen as applicable - because anger manifests in so many ways that we do not realize or describe as anger. I do not believe you can find a better book on the subject.

Dr. Les Carter definitely knows his subject and he is an excellent writer. As I read The Anger Trap I felt he was talking directly to me. Instead of giving superficial tips on communicating anger differently, the book prompts the reader to examine patterns of thinking that lay beneath the emotion. I found the chapters on control and pride to be especially enlightening. I strongly recommend this book to anyone trying to get a handle on long-standing problems with anger.

Over the past year I have become familiar with a line of books each of which try to approach slightly differently the issue of improving poor emotional management that results in lingering anger which can corrode and erode our closest relationships. For married couples, the only contender to this book I've found which is almost as useful as this one would be the Soul-Healing Love book. But this one is so much better. I was so impressed by the personal impact this book had on me that I made our study of it my personal requirement for not divorcing. I have also decided to put it on a list of allowance-upgrade-required-reading for my kids when they reach a certain age. Every teen should be made to read this book.

The advantage that The Anger Trap has for couples over the other above-mentioned book is that it is full of useful self-analytical and answer-creating tools from beginning to end, which really makes it more like a course. Furthermore it does not hang up the lay reader on highly technical psycho-babble nor on flowery hippie-like gimmick phrases. The writer's thrust is much more preoccupied with immediate diagnosis and exploring/prescribing alternatives, as opposed to creating and defending a super-structure of original vocabulary by which diagnosis may be achieved (my issue with other books trying to do what Carter does effectively here). It is a book written for solutions-oriented individuals who have already made the decision to improve emotional self-management but do not know the way. It is full of useful case examples (identities hidden) the descriptions of which are highly articulate and hit home each time. The anecdotes from his (anonymous) patients hit out of the ballpark pretty much each time in terms of illumination and relevance - if I can't personally relate to the sentiments of the speakers, I can at least recognize several people from my life who fit the mold.

My final statement is about the redeeming and fulfilling spiritually awakened writing of this book. This book is a good work for spiritual people who are also discriminating readers. So often in contemporary life-skills-applied-reading, the word 'Christian' is abused as a license for sentimental, self-indulgent writing that is so sappy and syrupy that during reading I feel my pancreas failing and I fear I may need a shot of insulin to keep my limbs from rotting and falling off. Yet here is a writer so clearly aware of his subject, driven by a useful faith that both reinforces his intellectual drive and so clearly causes him to further engage the world and its problems (as opposed to a faith that promotes escapism and sentimentality) that reading this book has the other (unintended?) effect of reintroducing several meditation points in the Bible as highly practical mnemonic devices (free of mysticism!) for some of the book's most important concepts. I realize that writers informed by other faiths also do this very well these days by borrowing lessons from various spiritual teachers. I simply wish to point out that this writer achieves the same with exceptional effect within the context of his own faith (without resorting to the anti-intellectual approach plaguing the works of too many faith-based writers today). Hurray!

This book (and another the same author has written, on narcissists - Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me) has changed me. I wish we had this book when I was in middle school. I'll just leave it at that.

This book is really great. If you suspect you have anger issues, this book will help you determine if you do and then understand them. And, understanding is really the key to beginning to deal with those issues.

Truth be told, though, I've been reading it very carefully and I've only gotten through the first half. I have scanned the second half and all signs indicate it is excellent as well. Why haven't I finished? I've got a very busy job and a hectic homelife with two young kids.

So, I really, really, really wish the publisher would release an audio version of this book. Nowadays, listening to an audio version of a book during my commute is the only way I can get through any book. And I do want to finish.

PS: Don't be put off the complaints about some mildly religious content. I'm not at all religious and it did not bother me. There's very little and, in any case, it doesn't amount to prosletizing. If it really does bother you, though, it may be an indication you have anger issues and should just read the darn book.

I was first attracted to this book after realizing I am frustrated or angry most of the time. After 5 chapters, I can say that this is what no one ever tells you. Read this book even if you do not consider yourself an angry person. And order one for everyone you care about. A+++++ Many thanks to the authors for this easy to read epiphany. I have been in the dark tooo long. It is time to live to my full potential. With this information I can end the cycle of generation after generation of poor emotional/coping skills.