Customer Reviews

Fall in Love, Stay in Love

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

For any couple struggling with a few things and feeling like they're drifting off? Get it, read it, and read it again. Worth it. Opens your eyes....both of you. My suggestion is to also purchase "Captivating: Unveiling the mystery of a woman' soul"-John Eldredge ISBN 0785289097 and "Wild at heart: Discovering the secret of a man' soul"-John Eldredge ISBN 1400202817. And yes ladies, that book is larger than a pamphlet. LOL

I don't think Amazon sells these directly anymore so I would buy them used from [...] if you don't find a good used one from a private Amazon seller.

The concepts are fairly basic, but as far as I can tell, most new couples (most people) don't know them. They have bought into the idea that you can only make yourself happy, so why should you meet your spouse's needs if you don't feel like it? Or they are trying to meet their spouse's needs, but instead are doing things that would meet their own needs because they don't get that their spouse needs different things. And most people really have no idea about avoiding love busters. I yelled at my husband a lot when we were first married. I felt that it is better to express feelings. It is, but not by yelling! That never once made things better.

I like this book much better than His Needs, Her Needs, because it is much less gender-role stereotyped.

Although I had read His Needs, Her Needs, this book absolutely blew me away. Harley's insight and concepts are absolutely incredible. On the verge of separation, this book literally saved my life as I know it and my marriage.

Just as His Needs, Her Needs presents the concept of the basic different needs and how to meet them, this book delves into the concept of the two types of love in marriage (romantic and caring), three states of mind in marriage (intimacy, conflict and withdrawal), the giver/taker that lies within each of us, and most importantly, how to handle conflict with intelligence and not emotion.

Bottom Line: This book is a must read for anyone who is struggling in their marriage or who feels that their love and relationship is irretreivably broken.

The principles, ideas and concepts presented in this book created a new mindset for me. Before reading it, I felt as though I were incapable and unwilling to work for my marriage. It restored my hope in restoring love and gave me all of the tools to do so.

He's done it again. William Harley has a great track record of putting out relationship books that are honest, insightful and useful. This one definitely fits the bill.

For most couples falling in love is the easy part. Staying in love is a completely different matter. Harley dispenses his typical wisdom into the main reasons marriages fail and what you can do to keep the love ever present. No one needs to fall for the lie that love and passion can't be as present 20, 30 or 40 years into a marriage.

Anyone seriously wanting to keep the romance and passion alive (or revived) in their relationship should definitely take a look at this book AND The RoMANtic's Guide - which I believe is the best tips and idea book to come out in my 30 years of marriage counseling. If every couple read and followed these two books, I'd be out of a job. Which would be a good thing.

Dr. Bradley Sears, Spokane Washington

My husband and I were having problems in our marriage, and we read this book and "His Needs, Her Needs" for a Sunday school class. By the end of the book we felt almost hopeless. The book had received such good reviews, and our marriage was in deeper trouble than before we read the books.

We took the quizes and found out what we needed, but the advice he gives is very stereotypical -- women usually need this and men usually need that. We didn't fit into the mold. (My husband works at home and takes care of our children. I am a very ambitious and successful businesswoman.) Our needs seemed so different from each other and so different from what Dr. Harley seemed to think they should be, it seemed that our marriage was in worse shape than we had thought.

We eventually resolved to put aside everything we had "learned" about ourselves and each other and try other books instead. We've been reading some books by the Raineys and the Smalleys, and my husband and I are now growing closer together instead of farther apart.

While this book may help some marriages, please don't think that it contains all the answers for everyone. You might be in for a rude awakening.