Customer Reviews

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I'm kinky, poly and queer and I found this book to be useful. Yes, it's garnished with biblical quotes and marriage elitism but the five love languages I believe can be relevant to everyone nevertheless.

It kind of reminds me of the Myers-Briggs personality tests - remember those? They helped us measure how social and how intro/extroverted we are, etc. Well, it's kind of like that in this book. The author gets us to explore how we prefer to be loved so that we can communicate it better to our partner(s). Are you more likely to feel loved through touch? Gifts? Acts of service? Quality time? Loving words? A combination? Which one? What does it look like for you? What about your partner/s? Here's a whole new way to have a conversation about wants and needs!

Another tool in my toolbox!

I was amazed at how much insight this book gave me into my own needs. It made me understand what my love languages are, yes I can relate to at least two. By wording my needs in a different way it makes more sense to even myself. Would certainly recommend for couples to read this book.

I think it is a must read for anybody who wants to communicate with their SO the right way. Read it!

Love it and find it very helpful when I am talking with couples I am officiating their wedding service. Such a wonderful read.

This book is a must-have for couples! It really helps you understand your partner's love language and how to fill each other's "love tank" to have a better relationship. Thank you, Gary Chapman!

The book is very helpful and a pleasure to read. Thank you very much for this practical perspective. What is obvious to some needs to spelled out to others. This does that.

Again, love is a lifelong endeavor. Learning how to do this is very challenging and yet very rewarding. I am giving this book away to as many as I can.

I bought this book with very high hopes after reading all the reviews from others. My boyfriend and I decided to read the book together and hoped to learn something useful. Unfortunately, we were both disappointed beyond belief.
Chapman's book tells us that there are 5 main ways that we can show love and affection for our partners. They are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch

He goes on to explain each one of these in detail and suggests that an individual is most influenced by his/her primary love language (according to Chapman, you are most influenced by only one language and this does not change throughout your lifetime regardless of changes in life situations or any other factors). In case you have some difficulty deciding your primary love language, Chapman gives some advice. For example, he wrote about a woman that was always getting put down by her husband. He was always complaining how she could not do anything right and told her she was stupid. Through a session with Chapman, the woman explained how upset this made her. He came to the conclusion that "Words of affirmation" is her primary love language! Are you kidding me? Would anybody in their right mind be OK with constant put downs from their partner? I don't think so. This has nothing to do with deciding which is your primary love language. This is a matter of respect from one's partner.

He also uses a situation where after careful consideration, he decided a woman's primary love language was Physical Touch after she complained about getting beaten up by her husband! Really Chapman?

The rest of the book is filled with embellished and fabricated examples in which Chapman is always the hero. He seems to be able to solve anybody's and everybody's problems. On top of this, he ensures the reader is well-aware of his books, CDs, and seminars. This type of self promoting should be banned from self-help books.

This is a topic that could have been adequately explained in 2 pages of a magazine article rather than in 13 drawn out chapters. The book is very repetitive. Chapman seems to have made a fortune off this ONE theory of his five languages (which is not backed up by any psychological or scientific studies). But don't worry. If you buy one book and learn the 5 languages, you can apply these SAME languages to ANY other life situation. Please see below for some of Chapman's other books.

The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace
The 5 Languages: Men's Edition
The 5 Languages: Gift Edition
The 5 Languages of Children
The 5 Languages of Apology (both in paperback and hardcover)
The 5 Languages, Singles Edition
The 5 Languages of Teenagers
The Heart of the Five Love Languages
God Speaks your love Language

This book was terrible and a waste of time to read. Don't waste your money buying this book, you can have mine.

This book is very poorly written. The author makes the so called 5 love languages as if they are the only ones and as if they do not change over time. These love languages are (words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts). These things change over time, and people tend to search for what is missing in their lives, not a primary love language BS. We put different values for things according to our needs at the moment.
He gives poor examples to make his points. One example in particular, a husband comes to him for a session and he tells him how stupid he was to lose his wife. His wife kept on complaining about her job over and over again, so the husband (like any good husband would do), kept on telling her his best advice to deal with the matters at hand. According to Chapman, she was not looking for advice, she was looking for a quality time!!! Well sorry if someone is stupid to keep on complaining about one issue over and over and wants to take no actions, then he/she should accept status quo. Who wants to listen to a chronic complainer!! And besides; how does that make it a quality time for the husband hearing her complain all the time??
Also, he puts emphasis on jesus and religion. Well not everybody is religious, and the ones that are religious I am sure can go to their local church or find religious books if that is what they are looking for.
The book is full of I. It is such a self promoting book beyond imagination. I did this, and I did that. And the message he want to tell everybody: I am big, I know what I am doing. Go to my seminars, listen to my CDs and buy more of my books.
I wish there was a better scoring system, I would not have given it a zero, I would score it minus 5 stars.

Bottom line, don't waste your money on this book.

This will help you understand your spouse better than most any other book, and really help strengthen your marriage by reading it:)