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5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing hidden messages
I have not finished the book yet. But I should say that I am very happy I picked up this one. I am learning many things that otherwise I would have never thought about.

Some situations look so normal to me, until I read about the hidden messages, and realize how wrong I was for thinking the original story was fine. I like that they also give you examples of how...
Published on May 16 2011 by Cocoya

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Ho-hum. Pretty common sense, little useful info
Oh please. The examples were all cheesey, and it was so obvious what the "hidden message" was. Parenting would be EASY if all you had to do was be as obvious as the examples given. I bought the book expecting a more complex treatment of hidden messages and child development, but all we get are a bunch of vignettes which are pretty easy to avoid in your own life if you're...
Published on March 14 2003


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5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing! Life changing!, June 15 2001
By 
Gaye Ward (Brisbane, Queensland Australia) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
Everything we do is giving a message to our children. A scary thought? Certainly, especially when we realise that often we are unknowingly giving them entirely the WRONG message. Sometimes we are inadvertently teaching our children the exact OPPOSITE of what we would like to. The good news is that we can learn to give our kids the messages we really WANT them to get! Hidden Messages: What our words and actions are really telling our children is a book that EVERY parent needs to read.
As always, Elizabeth Pantley challenges us to think about our parenting and teaches us how to make changes that can have dramatic effects on the lives of our families. Her style is gentle and positive. As Dr. William Sears writes in his foreword, "Sure to gently tweak the consciences of even the best parents, inspire them to raise their children in a more conscious and sensitive manner - and tug at the heartstrings as a reminder to give constructive messages to our children".
This book is DIFFERENT! Elizabeth Pantley uses stories (some real, some partly contrived) to illustrate a whole variety of parenting lessons. This is very effective indeed. Many parents will be able to see themselves in some of the examples. As I read, I felt at times shocked, at times amazed, at times I even shed a tear or two. I learnt a great deal about myself, my parenting, and how to make some important changes. When you read this book, be prepared to be moved.
Hidden Messages consists of 33 stories, grouped into the categories: messages about responsibility and independence; messages about thoughtfulness and kindness; messages about annoyance and anger; messages about relationships; messages about discipline and behavior; messages about listening and caring and love; messages about time and priorities and messages about parenting styles. Each story is followed by the "hidden message" (see if you can work it out for yourself while reading the story!), "think about it" and "changes you can make". In these 33 short stories, you are taken on a kind of journey of all that is important in parenting. You are challenged (ever so gently) to examine your own relationship with your children and given the tools to grow and mature in your parenting journey.
This is an amazing book! I thoroughly recommend it to every parent - the messages contained in it are simply too important to miss.
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5.0 out of 5 stars I LOVED THIS BOOK!, March 1 2001
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
I highly recommend this book. I have seen many of the examples in my family as well as in families of friends. She makes the book very interesting by putting in stories. I am now reading "Kid Cooperation, How to Stop Yelling, Nagging & Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate" and like that very much as well.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Food for Thought!, Feb. 7 2001
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
Elizabeth Pantley's latest book, extracts of which have been featured in the Practical Parenting newsletter. I love the style of this book; it takes stories bases on real life parenting situations and then draws out key messages about what we are really teaching our children; then pointers are provided for change. This book could also be used by practitioners in their work to prompt reflection and insight. Great book!
Dr Andy Gill
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5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book!, Nov. 28 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
I was SO surprised to find that some of the things I have been doing to/for/with my children actually can have the opposite effect as what I had planned! Here I was thinking that I was being such a great mother, when huge mistakes were lurking beneath the surface. I hate to give away the punchline, so I won't give exact details, except to say that I have really changed my way of raising my children.
Another really great thing about this book is that it doesn't read like a million other boring parenting books -- the format is set up in stories that are a real joy to read. I found myself laughing and crying my way through them. The "Hidden Message" after each story often took my breath away - WOW! (I would think) I've never thought of it that way before.
I highly recommend this book - you'll learn things that you never expected to learn. It'll change your life. It did mine.
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5.0 out of 5 stars ... says "Hidden Messages" scores a direct hit!, Nov. 21 2000
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
Did you know that there are better ways for parents to communicate with their children? Thanks to Elizabeth Pantley's book "Hidden Messages", parents will find that the answers are just a few words away.
Throughout the book, parents will discover how their own words and actions affect their child's behavioral development. The book includes sample situations and dialogue between parents and their children, and discusses the "hidden messages" that the parents have just expressed. Elizabeth further helps parents to understand their own actions and gives them ideas on how to change their behavior and how they communicate with their children.
"Hidden Messages" is sure to become a staple in every parenting library. I highly recommend it!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Really hits home!, Nov. 15 2000
By 
Joan Petrovski (North Tonawanda, NY USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
This book is so wonderful and right on the mark! I found myself among the stories. It is really a wake up call. The stories are common and easy to relate to, they make you stop and think the next time you are talking when you think your children aren't listening. They hear eveything and don't we know it! Elizabeth's stories really hit home. After reading this book, I have found myself correcting my friends when observing them with their children. It's great to get an outsiders view of what is going on between you and your children and this book is quite the eye opener. My hat goes off to Elizabeth for another book well done!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Walking a mile..., Nov. 9 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
"Hidden Messages" puts the reader back into the mind and heart of the child, and moves the reader to think more carefully about the things s/he says to, does for, and behaves around children. The book is based on the premise that most of us are "good parents" trying our best and incites us to think things through as we go through our everyday routines. The main thrust of the book is "walking a mile" in our children's shoes. Each section describes a common, everyday occurrence in family life, an incident that might not otherwise provoke a moment of thought...until viewed through a child's eyes. It then describes the child's possible interpretation, and discusses approaches.
When I read this book, I found myself saying over and over again, "Yes, I've done that...I've never thought of things that way..."
The book provokes thought on behalf of our children in a wise, witty, warm way that made me want to hug my children at the conclusion of every chapter. It offered reassurance that I'm just like most parents, yet gives me ways I can improve my communication style and be more mindful of the examples I set. I can't think of anyone who could not benefit from reading it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A new way of looking at parenting!, Oct. 5 2000
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This review is from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children (Paperback)
We're all human and so we all make mistakes--it's the learning from our mistakes that makes us better parents. HIDDEN MESSAGES offers us a road map to parenting in a new way. By presenting stories of typical everyday situations, followed by "Think About It," we are offered vaulable insight into the real messages that we send to our children by our actions & inactions, as well as by our words. The "hidden message" in each story is clearly described. The "Changes You Can Make" section following each story offers clear, practical, useful, and easy-to-understand advice. Thank you, Ms. Pantley for recognizing that even with the best of intentions, none of us is perfect and for showing us the way to more succesful parenting.
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