Customer Reviews

The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

The book describes what parents of ODD kids experience every day. Mr. Riley's suggestions are easily understood and seem natural. The book is easy to read. Then why I did not give it five stars?

If you consider buying this book, you probably already tried setting limits, star programs, timeouts, 1-2-3, and many other variations of dog training. You tried and found that both "motivation" and warnings are ignored, and that punishment only fuels more resentment.

Now you are stuck, but there is a hope -- Mr. Riley comes with new ideas for better, more severe and more painful punishment; of course all within the limits of the law. You are big and smart, and there are many ways to cause pain to your child without spanking. For example, you could explain that YOU own everything in your home and will take it away if he misbehaves.

So, what's wrong with the book?

First, the style. Mr. Riley speaks in a very distant, detached voice as if he is not talking about our children, but of some other species: evil, smart, and obviously very dangerous. My first reaction to the book was entirely intuitive -- its ice-cold style FELT wrong.

Second, the perception of the real problem. Whey you say "dress up now, we got to go", and your 8 year old answers with "F--- YOU", is it because you need more "parental authority", or because he is lacking some very basic skills needed for everyday life? And if your child is as evil and smart as the book suggests, why his life is such a hell?

If you think you have to win the war with your child, no matter what it takes -- this book is for you. If you want to teach your child the skills needed for everyday survival, try reading "The Explosive Child". I made my choice, now it's your turn.

I am a stepfather and married into a package deal: long lost love, defiant teenager. While I was no professional, I knew that there was something terribly wrong with this childs world view and decision making. At times, the anger and open defiance seemed totally nonsensical. I read The Defiant Child and found a GOOD description of my stepchild as well as practical steps you can take to influence the child in positive ways. I had a thoroughly defeated wife who was convinced nothing would work. My having her read the book, she came out of her paralysis and we were able to develop a united front (essential) and started effecting some changes. Our daughter is still no angel but she is sure easier to cope with now. She is even enjoyable at times. You just have to arm yourself with knowledge, patience and love and keep pressing. I found the books insights very helpful and I used them as guidelines in developing my own strategies. I was so impressed with the results that I've gotten, I have GIVEN the book to other "burned out" parents and they love it too. Douglas Riley was a Godsend.

Our family has been dealine with an ODD child for many years. I was thrilled when I found this book. The author's first hand experiences with the children let me know that mine was not the only child like this. I found his writing very readable and his suggestions very useful and concrete. I highly recommend this book to every parent I meet up with that is dealing with this disorder.

If you're perusing discipline books, wondering what to do about in-your-face defiance, screaming, foul-language,etc., this is the book for you. It is right to the point and dead-on. I wish I'd found it about 2 years earlier, when my daughter started middle school and the behavior escalated. The author's suggestions definitely work. All I can add is, "Whew".

This book has not only helped to understand a grandchild, it has also given some inspiration to a relative with an uncontrolable daughter. When you run our of ideas, buy this book.

Dr. Riley does a remarkable job of giving parents a glimpse of the mistaken ideas that guide the behavior of defiant children. Hopefully, parents will stop blaming themselves and recognize that these children act out due to their distorted sense of reality. Parents who read this book often report that the book serves as guideposts for how to make their children more sensitive.

Michael T. Smith

This book is very practical and has a lot of great advice. Be warned, however, that it would be important to read the entire book before implementing some of the methods outlined in the stories. I have been struggling with my strong-willed, angry, defiant child for years. The key here is to communicate in no uncertain terms that you are the parent and he/she is the child. The child has no rights and you have every right to expect their behavior to be respectful and pleasant. For years conflicts with our defiant child have brought division between my husband and myself. Finally, a book that clarifies the situation clearly so that we can both see the ride we are being taken on by our defiant child. Now we have the upper hand, we are able to communicate our genuine love and concern for our child (14-year-old boy), and peace reigns in our home as we are seeing our child turn into a happy, well-adjusted, child instead of defiant, angry, manipulative and unthankful!! After the second week of using these methods my child was pleasant, cooperative, obedient, and talking more. We are now seeing his sense of humor return and enjoying one another.The icing on the cake was that he prepared a gourmet breakfast for me on my birthday! What a pleasant outcome!

I just got this book today, and with a husband that works 3rd shift and three boys ages ranging from 9-16 (one of which has ODD), I've only had about 20 minutes to myself to read some of this tonight. I have never written a review for anything online before, but I haven't even read all of chapter one and I am hooked!! This book has already had me laughing. Dr. Riley could have been writing this book from my living room. He's got my son pegged to a T!...I can't wait to get my kids off to bed so I can sit and read this book.

This book is a godsend for any parent dealing with a strong willed and defiant child.I expect it to change the lives of my sister's family.

This was the biggest piece of crap I have ever read. Unlike the people who wrote this book or the people who gave it good reveiws, I actully remember being a teenager. What I found even more disturbing was the sutle racism in this book. The auther said things like "good middle class children come home acting like gansters because thats who there peers are" I don't know about anyone else out there but the authers obviosly refering to black people. I personally won't take anymore of these steriotypes by rich middle aged white people with some phd in child phycology.