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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Are you a former child? Yes? Then read this book!
So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse.
Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the...
Published on Dec 20 2002 by Brad Torgersen

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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Definitely Worth a Read
I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually...
Published on May 16 2004


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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Are you a former child? Yes? Then read this book!, Dec 20 2002
By 
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse.
Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes.
If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency.
Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"? Has your own social circle dwindled or vanished, so that now only your partner and his/her friends are 'your' social group? Would you like to know why it's so hard to get out of bed every morning, and why you spend so much time worrying about that certain person in your life, while worrying too little about yourself?
Codependency is not a catch-all problem, nor is it remedied over night. But I'd dare say that at least half or more of American adults--indeed adults across the entire world--struggle with some form of codependent behavior. And if you want a deeper insight into this problem, what it is, what it is not, and how it messes with your life, then read this book, and gain strength from understanding.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Definitely Worth a Read, May 16 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually break the cycle. I certainly won't say that all of your problems will be solved with this book, but it is a step in the right direction. It certainly worked for me.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth every penny, Oct. 5 2003
By 
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
If you have codependency issues, this is the bible for codependency issues. Start reading and start caring for yourself and stop letting others manipulate you. Learn to let go.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Beattie is a Recovery Beauty!!, June 4 2004
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
This author is one of the most honest, insightful, and thoughtful writers in the world of recovery. I own a copy of each of her books. You are encouraged and blessed with each chapter. I refer to her codependency books frequently to remind myself what getting better is all about. Thanks, Melody!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What a book!, Aug. 29 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
A friend gave this book to me many years ago and I never read it until just recently. I feel like I have been blown out of the water since reading this book. This book forces you to look at yourself and your relationship in a new way and once you see what is really going on, you have no choice but to change your life. It is painful at first but you know that it is the only way to the next step in your development. If you are ready to take a step out of codependence, this book is a treasure. If you'd like to understand what all of this relationship stuff means in relation to human development, spirituality, and evolution, read "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and it will illuminate you like no other book. Both of these books are indispensible to me right now.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a great read and has improved my life, April 8 2003
By 
Mary Towns "rtowns19" (ga) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the best self help book I have ever read. It gives a clear insight on how to deal with all types of feelings such as fear, despair, depression, and anger. First the book reveals how to process these feelings rather than denying them and then how to move on to feelings like love, joy, fulfillment, and just feeling okay about yourself in general by giving your life a new spiritual meaning. In her private life, the author has moved from an alcoholic and drug addict, a rape victum, a prostitute/stripper, and finally a welfare recipient to a well adjusted best-selling author and a spiritual advisor. Her life itself is a miracle. She has a way of passing the magic and the spiritual techniques that she used to transform her own life to the lives of her readers. I have read all of her books and I recommend them all. I read her meditation book THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO daily with my morning coffee. CODEPENDENT NO MORE is a wonderful book...I read it in two sittings...You'll love it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars You may just be a co-dependent....find out in this book, July 25 2013
By 
Diana E. Young "Diana Young" (Vernon, B.C., Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This international best-seller is written by Melody Beattie – a woman who has lived through being kidnapped, being abandoned, being sexually abused, being a drug and alcohol addict, the death of her son and co-dependency issues: a term she coined in the 80’s.

This book deals specifically for those who are dealing with partners, children, parents, friends or other loved ones that have an addiction or other compulsive, destructive tendencies. Often the attention is given to those that have the “problem”, while those closest to them are often in just as much need.

Many of us often feel that we are being supportive and helpful, when in fact we may be disempowering and “rescuing” those we love. This behaviour doesn’t help either party. This book emphasizes that people need to be responsible for their own decisions, choices and consequences. You can lovingly listen to them and share ideas, but the ultimate responsibility for change is up to them.

Many co-dependents have difficulty setting boundaries and then find themselves used and abused over and over again. This pattern can stop and may ultimately not only heal the co-dependent from their need to “help”, but also allow the space for the affected person to take the steps necessary for recovery.

A very gentle and encouraging book to help those who are feeling helpless and are spending their energy on trying to help others, often while ignoring their own needs and wants. Lots of great suggestions on how to “let go” without giving up on those you care about.

Diana Young World-traveler - currently sailing in the South Pacific & #1 Amazon best-selling author Financial Fitness for Beginners [...]
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Older and Wiser, Feb. 2 2012
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
I first bought this book in the 1990s. I had a lot going on in my life at that time, and was desperately buying any books I thought would help me. It helped me at that time to give me the tools I needed to look after myself. I found a copy recently in my local library and it was as if I hadn't ever seen it before. I guess I'm just that bit older now and was amazed at how this book 'spoke' to me even at this later date. I'm not dealing with an alcoholic husband now, but I still recognize and relate to co-dependent signs such as people pleasing etc., that don't serve me in my life now. I sent for my own copy from Amazon and am enjoying it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oldie but a Goldie, Oct. 14 2010
This review is from: Codependent No More (Audio CD)
I first read this book when it came out in the late 80's. I knew I needed to review the material, because I was ready to grow a little more. Peel another layer off of the onion. Melody does not disappoint. The information is more relevant now than ever, and will save many from needless heartache.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a great read and has improved my life, April 8 2003
By 
Mary Towns "rtowns19" (ga) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the best self help book I have ever read. It gives a clear insight on how to deal with all types of feelings such as fear, despair, depression, and anger. First the book reveals how to process these feelings rather than deny them and then how to move on to feelings like love, joy, fulfillment, and just feeling okay about yourself in general by giving your life a new spiritual meaning. In her private life, the author has moved from an alcoholic and drug addict, a rape victim, a prostitute/stripper, and finally a welfare recipient to a well adjusted best-selling author and a spiritual advisor. Her life itself is a miracle. She has a way of passing the magic and the spiritual techniques that she used to transform her own life to the lives of her readers. I have read all of her books and I recommend them all. I read her meditation book THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO daily with my morning coffee. CODEPENDENT NO MORE is a wonderful book...I read it in two sittings...You'll love it.
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