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on May 18, 2001
I'm amazed how a book that is only four months old (published December 2000) magically has received seven 5-star reviews. [Could it be a plug by the authors? Heaven forbid!] I bought the book on the strength of these seven excellent reviews. Now, I'm quite disappointed. A few of these questions are good: especially when asked of ourselves. But for the most part, they're questions we would naturally ask of a prospective partner anyway; we certainly don't need to spend time and money reading this book to dream them up.
One of the great flaws of the book is the naivete of the underlying assumption: "If I ask this question, I will get an honest answer". This is rubbish. As an extreme example, consider the following questions, quoted verbatim from the book: "Are you honest?" "Have you ever stolen anything?" "Are you willing to be monogamous?" Think about it: do you really think that liars and thieves would answer honestly? -And in the usual, less extreme case, there is always the tendency for us to "put our best foot forward". We may not intend to mislead, but isn't a consequence of being in love to idealize ourselves and our loved one?
Here's a really useful question the authors give (be sure to use this one on your first date!): "Do you own, or do you want to own, any recreational vehicles?"
Perhaps others will find it useful. I didn't. Sorry folks, this book did nothing for me. I really do NOT believe the seven perfect reviews, all from people whose lives were changed by the book (only four months after first printing!!). Perhaps I wouldn't be so harsh on the book if it wasn't for these "customer reviews".
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