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4.4 out of 5 stars39
4.4 out of 5 stars
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Showing 1-4 of 4 reviews(1 star).Show all reviews
on February 18, 2002
There was a song called Blame Canada. This book could be called Blame Adoption. Soll is clearly anti-adoption based on his own unresolved conflicts. He therefore has determined, seeks comfort from, and found enough evidence (anyone can find support for anything) that everyone feels as he does. It's easy to blame adoption for everything that goes wrong in life, but that is masking a lot of other realities. Soll fails to address the fact that many adult adoptees never feel a need to search, he fails to address the many well-adjusted children who were adopted into their families and grew up without ongoing "trauma" in their daily existance. He talks about being affected by adoption like one is affected by some illness.
As we've painfully learned in recent times, people with the attiitude that everyone must feel or believe as they do, are harmful. I do not deny Soll his own pain, or agree that he will find supporters, but it's more than presumptuous to link all adoptees to his own feelings and go out there as a preacher. I am very involved in adoption from all angles and standpoints. I've done research, writing, articles and even a book on the subject. I know numerous adoptees of all ages. Sorry, many do not feel as Soll feels.
In addition to all of that which is clearly anti-adoption, Soll uses a host of cliche methods in his books and on his website, such as inner child, 12-steps, hugs, higher power, etc.
And finally, based on Soll's theory and ideas, International adoption does not exist, or certainly does not work. Talk to some adult adoptees from other countries and learn how wrong he really is.
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on July 24, 2000
I have read several books in an attempt to resolve my own adoption issues. I found this book to be very generalized, assuming and stereotypical. This book was very frustrating for me because it "cans" adopted people into one type of developmental response, and doesn't offer differing perspectives. I found The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier to be a much more insightful book.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on June 19, 2002
NOTE: This book got one star ONLY because 0 stars is not an option!!
If you are not a basket case looking for someone to say, "There there" while incessantly addressing the needs of your inner child, then this book is NOT FOR YOU!! I am an adoptee in reunion and my birthmother suggested this title, but warned me I might find it a bit "Twelve-steppish." That is the understatement of the century. Let's put it this way - I briefly considered selling the book, but didn't want to inflict such poor quality of writing and psychobabble on others, so I threw it away (this from a person who treats books like the American flag - I don't even throw them on the floor!!). If you are looking for a book that addresses possible "issues" that may arise for the adopted, read _The PRimal WOund_ by Nancy Verrier. SHe is an actual psychotherapist as opposed to a social worker, which I believe is Soll's claim to legitimacy. Seriously, this is to be skipped unless you're looking for "mommying" of the inner child to which you are still an adult slave.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on January 8, 2003
This book is best for those who perceive themselves to be tragic victims of adoption, inherently wounded and in need of coddling. Don't get me wrong - there are valid psychological issues that come with being an adoptee (I am one), but if you want a book that addresses these issues in a much less cloying and more informative way, read _The Primal Wound_ by Nancy Verrier. This book features a segment at the end of each chapter to help you get in touch with your "inner child." It features sentences along the lines of "by now, your inner child is probably feeling scared and alone. Talk to your child and tell him/her that it's OK....etc...blah blah blah." VERY short on useful data and LONG on feel-good but ultimately useless psychobabble. Save your money and your time and head for Verrier's more lucid book along the same lines.
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