Customer Reviews

Satan Burger

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Squishy, batter-dipped, soul-stealing cheeseburgers are deep-fried by our own resident homosexual ex-arch angel himself, Satan, while an overweight, lard-bellied messiah scrubs the bathroom floors with a crusty mop and bucket. Behind the counter stand your servers, consisting of a pierced and tattooed skin-head babe and an Asian kid who thinks he's a pirate. Aaargh! It's your modern day family restaurant! Just beware of the living, breathing demon-possessed appliances and the scorpion flies hovering above, waiting to paralyze you. Better get yourself a female baboon!

Most books can't hold my attention for long. I consider myself more film oriented. But CM3's "Satan Burger" has breathed new life into a long dead literary world for me. This book is captivating and humorous like no book I've read before, and shows what a little style and imagination can do. This anti-novel should be required reading for all the *shrugging* school systems in America!

Now, pass the ketchup.

I get the feeling this book is trying to be surreal and funny. It fails. I found myself getting frustrated while reading this... have you ever watched a real bad movie then gotten upset because that's 2 hours of your life wasted that you'll never get back. That's the feeling I got while reading this mastubatory trite. If your looking for GOOD surreal writing check out Raw Shark Texts, or Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World.

An oddly assorted group of people living in a large house get a new tenant... Satan, who plans to open a restaurant. The fun starts here and never lets up. Heaven shuts down and the dead have no place to go. Plenty of great sex and violence, some great imagery, and a story line that gets stranger with every page. And I agree, the "Battlestar Galactica" original show had more than just a good theme song! Or did it?

This is one of Mellick's first books. It is well developed and very interesting. He has since written many more in a very short period, including "Punk Land," the sequel to this book.

This book left me shaking. I could almost feel the narrator's soul being sucked from his body at the end of the book. All those blank pages made me feel cold. I don't understand how some people didn't get it. It's not a puzzle or anything. The book is enjoying to read and very entertaining even during its darker moments.

I've bought most of Mellick III's books. This one isn't his best, but definitely the most fun to read.

This book, while getting your attention and is rather good with details of characters and even non characters(hence the one star) is an utter waste of ones time. The ending is rubbish. It is a waste... The ending leaves the reader hanging and saying "What just happened? Is this it? Where is the rest of the book?" I suggest never buying this book and not listening to the ones that gave it better reviews.

Satan Burger is set in a weird reality where people stop dying and have their souls sucked into oblivion and apathy. The story has some very interesting twists and the theme of the story is that oblivion may be preferable to perfection. I won't go into too many details about the story, but some interesting notes about the story are that the characters become overwhelmed by refugees from the whalm, this city in the middle of nowhere becomes overpopulated in the sting of a few chapters, and the narrator's friend dies and his body parts come back to life. A very different and interesting read.

A painting stops at it's frame... because Art does have boundaries. Carlton has turned these boundaries inside out. This book and others of his are like films with visuals that have no budget; Only his changovers are like switches from relatable reality to dream stated requiems that leak into the brain for a quick, but everlasting tingling sensation. His words are so honorable that a simple review like this turns anybodies words into unintending poetry. But... in all it's glory, it still remains only a mere work of art, instead of it's godly position it's rightfully worthy of... time will tell. my prayz! and yours soon.

I bought this book and The Devil's Apocrypha by John A. De Vito at the same time. Both had rave reviews and both seemed like interesting takes on a religious theme. I was extremely amazed by both of these books. I wasn't expecting much because I have never heard of either of these authors but I was pleasantly surprised. If you are interested in religion yet don't take it all that seriously then this is a book to check out. Obviously a hardcore christian might get offended but who liked those people anyway?

I would have given it 5 stars but I read it right after The Devil's Apocrypha and like that book just a tad better than this one. But they are two completely different books and should not be compared. This is a very smart read. Highly recommended!

This is one of the few books that really clicks with me. It is written in a fun and entertaining way, yet it is smart and extremely inventive. Too inventive for some, because it is so unusual and different than any other book out there that some people will not know what to do with it. If you're expecting a traditional story with a traditional outcome you will be disappointed by Satan Burger. But for me that's what is so great about it. I'm sick of the boring mainstream books that come out every year. You can't tell one from the other. But Satan Burger is something different. The plot takes a completely unexpected route every chapter. You never know what is going to happen next. With blue women whose mouths and privates have switched places, a living dead boy whose body parts become living creatures after being touched by Satan, and hundreds of humorous philosophies like how sound was invented or why God is such a jerk. This alternate dimension centered around the new fastfood restaurant, Satan Burger, is exciting to explore. The small details of this book alone are worth the cover price.

The only other author that I can think of that is similar to Carlton Mellick III is Kurt Vonnegut. But Mellick III is a demented punk rock version of Vonnegut. This is probably why some people don't like him. He is like Vonnegut yet not accepted by the masses.

I believe this book is for the younger twenty-something undergound culture crowd. Older conservative readers probably won't have as much fun with this book as I did. Carlton Mellick III does something different and genuinely NEW. And, well, you just can't teach an old dog to read new books.

.........But the reason we read books like this is to be entertained. Satan`s fast food restaurant is filled with VCR`s that can`t take someone`s order, Leaf has "God`s Eyes" that allow him to float to somewhere else, Wanna be Pirates, fascination and being turned on by Jesus. This book is really wild , but at some point I`m waiting for the pay-off. The part of the book where it all comes together. For me, even reading about the "Blue Women", that moment never came. "The dolphin shocked me when he (?) picked up the accordian that was lying in the pool and began to play Wagner when Alisa said, "The toast comes before the butter God dammit!!""
If those passages were in a "Carlton Mellick III" ANTI-NOVEL I`d be popular too. While a number of people gushed over this book, maybe I just don`t get it. A little more of The Silence might have done it for me...........who knows.