8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For those who said "it doesn't apply to me..."
My doctor recommended this book to me and after having read it the first time, I went back to go and see her and said "this book completely doesn't apply to me". She said to pick it up again in about a month and read it again, but this time to open my mind a little bit more and try not to take her examples so literally or to that extreme but to try to find...
Published on June 9 2004
3.0 out of 5 stars INSIGHTFUL INFORMATION IF YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE TO FIND IT.
Ms. Norwood's book does indeed have useful information, exercises and case scenarios for women in relationship crises (readers will probably relate better to the histories, even if they are fabricated) with self-absorbed, distant, emotional vampires and how to find the self-love and healing required to get rid of them: the problem is in getting past the dry,...
Published on July 12 2001 by Lorrie Irby
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For those who said "it doesn't apply to me...",
By A Customer
My doctor recommended this book to me and after having read it the first time, I went back to go and see her and said "this book completely doesn't apply to me". She said to pick it up again in about a month and read it again, but this time to open my mind a little bit more and try not to take her examples so literally or to that extreme but to try to find connections in my childhood that could relate and THEN think about it. After having read it the 2nd time, I really started to make the connections. The thing is that Norwood's examples are very precise in scenerios that...true...does not apply to everyone, but if you really take the time to try to grasp the concept and not so much the examples, you will be able to make those connections. So when people write reviews and say "this book didn't help me but maybe it will help someone else", those people should read the book a second time because maybe those childhood things that affect our adulthood are not so apparent, but are still there none-the-less!! In my own life, these things mentioned did not apply to me at all...not one of them, but some of them did apply to my parents (ex. a parent dying young and child having to step up) and it is those things that have indirectly bled down in to my own life. So the examples were obvious in my own parents lives, but not in my own. I really had to think on it a while, but I did find it. So if you think the book doesn't apply to you directly, read it again and open your mind to the examples and not the scenerios!!!! Once you see it, your life will change forever!!! I left a very bad 10 year relationship and it took me all of 2 months to get it together and do it. That was 6 months ago and still strong!!!
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every woman should read this powerful book!,
I had been living in despair after I had broken up with my ex six months ago. Having suffered from serious depression and frustration, i luckily found this book in a local bookshop. I was so shocked as soon as i turned to read the Preface on which the author says "When being in love means being in pain we are loving too much"! Hey! this was exactly what i had been feeling about my love life! Quickly, i spent a week to finish this book and found that WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH is definitely the most powerful and wonderful book (not merely a self-help book!) i have ever read! Surprisingly insightful, powerfully written with style, i suggest every woman in the world, esp those who love too much like myself, should read it at least once in their life time, so that they can build up themselves and enjoy a healthier relationship with their partners and, most importantly, with themselves!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THIS BOOK IS A GIFT FROM GOD!!,
Women Who Love Too Much has totally changed my entire life. I have been in search of a committed relationship for years. I have ended up in abusive, degrading relationships and had no idea how or why; more importantly, how to get out of the pattern. This book literally had my name on every page. It gives real life examples of people the author has counselled. I was able to identify with every one of them. It was so easy to see what was not working for those women when I read their stories. It is always so hard to see yourself and your own mistakes. While reading the book, I was able to clearly define moments in my life when I made mistakes, and then learned what other options there were to those situations. I was able to dissect my entire life to see when and where I learned certain "ways of being" especially in intimate relationships. Ways that were addictive and I could not stop myself. I read several sections over and over until I got every last word and could apply it to my life. The book has a section at the end that teaches you steps you can take to alter current patterns to make yourself well and strong.
I have always been extremely independent, extremely successful in business, popular, beautiful, smart and I make a lot of money. None of this had anything to do with the patterns imprinted on me from childhood that had me choose men who could not love me if they really tried. It is quite ironic. I always attracted gorgeous, successful, popular men, so you would think everything was great. But they did not love themselves and many of their own issues stemming from childhood disabled them to love someone else and treat them well. These were the only types of men I sought out and did not know it. By practicing what is taught in the book and being extremely determined (it is hard work) to take care of me first and not lose myself in a relationship, I was able to turn the whole thing around. I now have the most wonderful man on the planet. We are getting engaged and plan to be married in March of 2000. I feel as though I was blessed from the heavens. He treats me with respect, always thinks of me, does not make demands and simply is my best friend. It can actually be quite scary at times. I am so used to being the one that has to give everything.
There is another very important point I would like to make. I have a 13 year old son (I am only 32). By reading the book and applying the stories to my life and what I went through as a child and how my parents and others treated me, I was able to see how I was repeating some of those patterns with my son. At first this was beyond disturbing. I could not believe that the things that hurt me so terribly when I was young, I was now repeating. The thought that my son might grow up to be one of those men that I had dated, or worse yet, take on the same behaviors I did in an addictive relationship, was horrifying. When reading the book, I also applied the same life examination to my relationship with my son. I have altered our relationship drastically and am looking forward to raising him to be a happy, healthy man that will treat women with love, affection and support. I am giving this book to all of my friends (some men) and family for Christmas. To me, it is the greatest gift you can give someone.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I ever read,
This book has had the MOST impact on my life of any one book I've ever read. Period. A MUST read for ANYONE who is unsatisfied with the relationships in their life.. be it family, lovers, friends. Do you always feel like you get the short end of the stick? Always dissatisfied? Always walked over? This book is a total MUST read. If I had more than two thumbs to put up, or 5 stars, it would get them all.
5.0 out of 5 stars So close to home it was painful (but necessary),
By A Customer
I first read this book years ago after a painful divorce. Fast forward 8 years, and here I am in the same situation yet again with a different man. When I first read this book, I did not take the information in it to heart, probably because it struck too close to home for me so I denied the truth in it. This time, with two children to raise, my recovery is absolutely essential, so I forced myself to read it and remember and deal with it. This book is absolutely on target for any woman who endured a painful, demoralizing childhood. Robin Norwood explains exactly why it affects us into adulthood (and for us it's much different than for men -- she explains this, too), why we keep choosing painful, debilitating relationships and why we can't walk away from them even when the pain is literally destroying us. I highlighted so much of this book to re-read and study later that my highlighting pen almost gave out. The book explains how we actually get addicted to pain and chaos, and why we choose the types of men we do, and why we're terrified to lose even a disastrous relationship. It also looks at how we hide the truth from ourselves and why. If you fit the description of a woman whose childhood was shredded by the pain of a highly dysfunctional family, and now you keep landing in one unhealthy relationship after another with men, this book will definitely help you, but you also must find a good therapist. You WILL heal in time, but you have to step out into the unknown and stick with it. As Robin Norwood so beautifully points out, with this type of love addiction,your future is sure to be painful no matter what. But it can either be the temporary pain associated with dealing with your problems and your subsequent recovery, or it can be the same kind of pain you've got now, magnified over years and years. Identifying your problem is the first step in solving it. This book will help you do that.
3.0 out of 5 stars INSIGHTFUL INFORMATION IF YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE TO FIND IT.,
This review is from: Women Who Love Too Much (Audio Cassette)
Ms. Norwood's book does indeed have useful information, exercises and case scenarios for women in relationship crises (readers will probably relate better to the histories, even if they are fabricated) with self-absorbed, distant, emotional vampires and how to find the self-love and healing required to get rid of them: the problem is in getting past the dry, overly-worded, rambling text to glean out the lessons. Although I learned a lot and consider the book valuable, women who don't have a lot of free time or a long attention span will probably get too impatient to benefit from it and quit. For those who don't mind the excessive verbalizing, this is a good tool to re-vamp your life as you relate to your partner(s) and can help future relationships, but for those of us with jobs/kids/lives, please read "Men Who Hate Women" by Dr. Susan Forward, who is more succinct and includes truthful case scenarios with women and men that can lead to insight and ultimately, healing (hint: in future reprintings, could this get EDITED any better to help the next generation? Thanks!!).
5.0 out of 5 stars A gift of pages!!!!,
I am a 29 year old gay male.You may think to yourself "How can this book be of any help and use to him?" "Women Who Love Too Much" has been a life-saver for me,having recently come out of an unhealthy relationship.
I am unashamed to say that i was the more "unhealthy person" in that relationship but at the same time,the book gave me tremendous insight as to how unhealthy my partner was.
My therapist suggested that i read the book,explaining that the dynamics of relationship are much the same,whether they be homosexual or heterosexual.Please don`t ignore what i have said in this review because my lifestyle is alternative.
You who are reading this review,may know somebody close to you who is lesbian or gay.Do they "love too much",are they in an unhealthy relationship,are they in desperate need of help?Whatever their situation may be and most likely it is an unpleasant one,"Women Who Love Too Much" is a definite beginning to heal the pain.
I will forever be grateful for having read this book and with no doubt,will keep on reading it.The knowledge,understanding and insecurities i have gained about myself is the knowledge that will steer me in the direction of a truthful,happy and healthy relationship.
Thank you Robin Norwood,where-ever you may be in this world.
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed My Life,
As with many of the reviews I've read, this book changed my life as well. I kept choosing the same type of relationship over and over again, and didn't realize what I was doing. When I read this book I finally understood how I choose the people in my life, and it opened my eyes to an entirely new way of relating to myself and to others.
I was amazed at how my mind continued to recreate my childhood in order to 'fix' it, when that is not the healthy way to fix things. This started me on me on the road to recovering from codependency, and I realized that my happiness was in my own hands. I believe it's in her preface where she says "If being in love means being in pain, you are loving too much." That was my history, and it spurred me to read the rest of the book. I can spot these traits in other people so well now it's amazing. We chose our friends. We create our lives. And my happiness is dependent on no one but myself. No longer will I continue to blame my parnter for my unhappiness. Though I spent a great deal of time letting this concept sink in, now it is a part of my belief system, and I a grateful for it.
Excellent book, I cannot thank Robin Norwood enough, for I feel like she saved my life.
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a must . . .,
... for women who can't understand how & why they keep getting stuck in relationships where they are taken for granted or abused. I was given a copy of this book in 1993 by the bank officer who helped me open my bank account when my marriage was falling apart and this book changed my life!
It had such an impact on me that ever since, as soon as I realize that any of my female associates & friends are in these types of destructive relationships, this is the book I buy for them. I've probably bought this book 20 times in the last 7 years . . . I gave up on lending it out, and just buy my friends a copy, because I never get mine back!
To Robin Norwood, thank you for putting into words what I needed to hear & opening my eyes 7 years ago. My life has totally changed for the better & I am now in a wonderful relationship. (Ladies, there are good ones out there! Don't settle for less!) There have been bumps along the way, but I will always have my trusty well-worn copy of the book to remind me that *I* can change this pattern forever!
5.0 out of 5 stars It's changed my life,
I received a copy of this book from an ex-boyfriend. He said he's never done much for me before but this will make up for all of it. He told me to read it and I thought I'd glance through it quickly. I sat down and read the first and second chapters and thought that Robin Norwood wrote about me. I was shocked that she knew so much about me! I got out a highlighter and started again. It seemed that almost every other sentence was being highlighted. It was frightening. This was my life and he wasn't an alcoholic! The problem was me. That was 15 years ago. I am still buying copies because I keep having to give mine away to other dear girlfriends (and a couple of guys too). It teaches you a new way of looking at yourself and treating yourself. I thought I didn't have the time to read it, but instead I know now that I cannot afford not to read it and cannot afford not to share it with other women and men. Yes, men also love too much too, in the way that Robin defines. I read the book in two days. I could not put it down. It was so wise. You cannot change your upbringing, but you can change your future. If Robin Norwood reads this, I want to thank her so much for all that she has done for me and for my friends.
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Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood (Paperback - April 8 2008)
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