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The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples

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John Gottman, the scientist/therapist who made his name by claiming that he could predict with a good amount of certainty whether or not a couple would stay together or divorce has given us a book in keeping with his passion: quantifying and measuring elements of relationships in a way that lends support to his approach to therapy. This is not another marriage book suggesting going on more romantic dates or buying and lighting more sweet-smelling candles. It is a book that wants to help its readers understand the data underlying what helps couples build trust. Gottman explains what trust is, and goes on to suggest ways couples can build greater trust between them. He also writes in a way that benefits therapists, since he gives clinical examples from therapeutic discussions his staff has had with couples during their research. The book is written conversationally. It has the rare combination of being weighty and readable. Thanks, Dr. Gottman!

As always, John Gottman's data-based assertions clarify the relationship between everyday talk and the complexities of human relationships. Distinct patterns of exchange build trust and trust is the "magic" that sustains long term relationships.