Customer Reviews

Forgiveness Is A Choice

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I have read at least 30 books on forgiveness and have to say this one is in the top three. The process of forgiving is clearly outlined and you are gently encouraged to walk through it. Enright provides suggestions for journaling, including sending you back to reveiw your progress in the process.

The examples he uses are realistic and constructive, everything from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. Most of the examples show how the person felt during the different stages of forgiving.

Although Enright does mention God and even suggests journaling your belief, he doesn't emphasize that God can help us walk through the forgiveness process. That would be my only criticism.

If you really want to get over your anger, this book would help you go a long way toward your goal.

I found this book mentioned on the Nightmares Echo book site as one of the books bought with, so I purchased both. This book is so encouraging, so helpful...so uplifting. I would tell the reading audience to buy both Nightmares Echo and Forgiveness is a choice....I have learned so much
Dori Halston, survivor

best book I have read on topic--practical, how to approach by someone who appears to be highly qualified in the field.

I am a person in the "hard sciences," studying physics, chemistry, and related disciplines. I rarely take seriouisly the "self-help" crowd because their books are based on impressions and opinions only, not science. This book, however, is the grand exception. Forgivenss Is a Choice is based on years of research into how people forgive. The research, from what I can tell, is strong and the results also strong. I gave this book as a gift to a close friend who had a very serious break up with someone years ago. After reading the book, she decided to take the risk of forgiving and reconciling with the other person from whom she was estranged for years. The book provided the necessary help to achieve the goal. The two are now reconciled and my friend credits this book with the success. The reader is given systematic exercises in the forgiving process. You start with exploring the anger you have, then you turn to a decision to forgive, including a clear exposition of what forgiveness is and is not. Next, you are given cognitive/thinking tasks to aid your forgiving, followed by affective/feeling tasks. In the Discovery Phase of forgiving (the final phase of the forgiveness process), the reader learns a great deal about onself, the other person, and relationships. The author's encouragement of the reader's journaling as a means of reflection is very useful. Although the author makes the point that forgiveness benefits the forgiver, he is clear that forgiveness itself is not at all a self-focused process. Instead, as the author notes, forgiveness is a moral process in which you reach out with compassion and understanding to the one who hurt you. Within the past month, this book has received much national attention. I read an article in USA Today favorably reporting on this book. I also caught the radio program, Talk of the Nation, on National Public Radio in which this book was featured. I highly recommend this thoughtful and helpful book.

I like the way this book brings the message, nothing negative to make you want to put it down. If you are in fact having a problem with anger for something another person has caused, you will be immediately drawn into this book. The point I am saying is that this book gives you exact reason why you should forgive for your own well being. But this book does not just dwell on that simple subject, it is a surprise of mental wealth. I have read amazons policy on giving book reviews saying it is suggested to mention related books, I strongly recommend reading SB 1 or God By Karl Mark Maddox.

Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, at other times we need to forgive others. Easier said that done - yes! However, each of us does posses the inate ability to forgive if we choose to make use of that special blessing. As a counsellor, I have counselled many victims of domestic violence, child abuse and family tragedies. It is important to remember one is not forgiving simply for the benefit of the person who has committed an injustice; one is forgiving as part of the process of healing. Only by coming to terms with the demons of the past can one truly heal and build a future. The reasons and means of forgiving are contained in this wonderful book.

Enright is not a person talking in terms of one who has been there and done that, nor does he speak in a condescending tone which implies, "this worked for me, so this will work for everyone." "Forgiveness is a Choice" is written by a professional who is both a psychologist and professor. An unforgiving person can be a difficult, over-bearing, often impossible person do live with on a day-to-day basis. The biggest challenge may be to get them to read the book in the first place, but if you do, the excellent advice found here is bound to hit home and could well begin the healing process. The book is most deserving of a five-star rating and highly recommended.

I found this book well-written, thoughful and useful. Enright spends plenty of time describing what forgiveness is (and what it is not) before he leads us through the forgiveness process. I found that his instruction on what forgiveness is was particularly helpful, because so many of us throw the word 'forgiveness' around without really knowing what it means. I can think of about ten people in my life who have stopped growing because of anger at parents, from a divorce, etc. and who could really benefit from this book.

Doesn't preach, doesn't nag, doesn't lay on the guilt. Just lays the foundation for people to work at their own pace to find forgiveness to untenable situations. I didn't have to allow my stepmother to keep hurting me to forgive her. Although the family's situation has not changed, I have. After reading this book, 35 years of anger and pain have been lifted off my shoulders, and my self-esteem has improved immensely. That Dr. Enright is a licensed psychologist and not a "self-help guru" gives me confidence that his approach will continue to work in the future. He should have his own forgiveness program on PBS.

The reader from Los Angeles couldn't have put it better when he/she wrote, "'Forgiveness Is A Choice' is the only self-help book on forgiveness you'll ever need." You will not be able to put this book down! It is well written and based on scientific principles (The dust jacket of the book says that the author has been a leader in the scientific study of forgiveness and its effects since 1985). I found it to be thought provoking and easy to follow. The author skillfully leads the readers toward improved psychological, emotional, and physical health by providing them with a deeper understanding of forgiveness and teaching them how to achieve a state of genuine forgiveness. Reading this book, engaging in thoughtful reflection and participating in the journaling exercises has helped me to release anger, have a greater sense of inner peace, and experience a renewed hope. This book has much to offer and can be enjoyed by a wide variety of people!

This is a great book. I thought I had exhausted any interest in self-help books but this one really hooked me. First, I believe in therapy and asking for help when you need it. I have found that to be a strength and not a weakness. Once you have the tools, you need to be self-directed in changing your life. This book fits my criteria beautifully. The author offers constructive steps that you can take, provides some direction in new ways of thinking about very personal issues, and gives you permission to feel what you need to and then to act on the resolutions you made for yourself. 5 stars!