Customer Reviews

My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Where was this book when I really needed it, those many years ago? Without a doubt, this is the best book I have read on the subject of the relationship between the transgendered man and his wife or partner. Written by the wife of a crossdresser, it is an eye-opener to say the least. I though I had a pretty good idea of what my wife of forty-five years is going through with respect to my crossdressing and my transgender nature. After all, we have known each other for almost half a century! Helen Boyd really “tells it like it is,” and it was an education for me!

With a Preface, an Introduction and eight chapters, Helen opens the male-to-female crossdresser’s eyes to the realities facing his partner, whether married or not. Throughout she quotes from, and makes reference to, many of the crossdressers and the partners she interviewed in her research for the book.

Chapter One, entitled “Crossdressed Lives”, delineates the who’s of crossdressing and why the book was written. Here you will find a relatively detailed description of the life of the crossdresser from his teens though to his late fifties. Also in this chapter Helen attempts to identify and define the myriad of classifications one might encounter in researching the transgender world.

In Chapter Two, the author explains who they are, why they do it, and why they can’t stop.

Chapters Three and Four detail the experiences of partners of crossdressers; who they are, why they stay, how they deal with it, and how they make things work out for the couple.

Chapter Five details the fears expressed by almost every partner of a crossdresser, from “is he gay” to “does he want to change sex?” Entitled “Slippery Slope!” this section will surely give the crossdresser and his partner pause for second thought.

Chapters Six and Seven deal with the sexual aspects of crossdressed lives. The various aspects of sex which cross all lives, trangender or not, are dealt with in a matter-of-fact way guaranteed not to upset the most delicate reader.

Chapter Eight, “Gendered Politics,” starts off, “If one more crossdresser complains to me about how unfair it is that crossdressers can’t wear what they want and tells me I don’t understand because I can wear whatever I want, my head might explode. First off, women can’t wear what they want. If a woman dresses too provocatively she’s assumed to be a whore; if she’s not sexy or feminine enough she’s a man hating lesbian.” Powerful words in a powerful chapter; one which the crossdresser needs to read carefully and thoroughly.

Of all the books I have read on the subject of crossdressing, this one sits so far above the rest that it has become the one book I now recommend to all couples dealing with crossdressed lives. Not only will it be of great help to the partner who is confronted with crossdressing, it also serves as a wake up call for the crossdresser himself. I simply cannot find the words to give this book the praise it deserve.

Thank you, Helen Boyd!

As a long time heterosexual crossdresser I found this book very informative. I gained a better understanding of the crossdresser community. A good read for both crossdressers, their SO,friends and family this misunderstood kink. Good introduction to topic of crossdressing for the general public as well

This is an honest and intense account of what it is like to be married to a crossdresser. Helen Boyd's acceptance and openness, while at the same time acknowledging her own feelings of trepidation concerning some aspects of this new life, is remarkable and admirable. There are no cross-dressers in my life, (that I am aware of) and I still found this book to be very worthwhile for the honest approach and thorough investigation of the subject.

As a crossdresser for nearly 3 decades and someone who is married, this book gave me tremendous insights into the challenges that are faced by my spouse. Helen Boyd does a very thorough analysis of identifying the choices and tensions inherent in being a CD as well as the struggles a spouse must face. What I found especially enlightening was the description of the continuum of dressing and the various types of relationships crossdressers have with their significant others.

I highly recommend the section that deals with the real questions that should be discussed in a relationship. There is an enormous struggle that goes on in these kinds of relationships and most don't last. The book offers one useful roadmap.

Though this book will be of special interest and relevance to the partners of crossdressers, anyone intrigued by gender issues and they way they shape our lives, loves, and identities will be enthralled by this profoundly touching and well-researched book. Ms. Boyd offers a moving, honest account of her own courtship and married life with a crossdresser, illuminating every difficulty and joy with great insight. She also portrays the relationships of other crossdressing couples among whom she has found support and companionship. Having wrestled with her own gender issues, and leaving no stone unturned in her quest to understand her husband's crossdressing, Ms. Boyd seems to have read all of the trenchant literature in the gender-studies field (to her readers' benefit) and widens her scope to include the whole transgender community and the gay community. Though Ms. Boyd is admirably supportive of her husband's continuing struggle to be true to himself, she never sugar-coats the complexities transgenderism can impose upon a marriage. However, Ms. Boyd's integrity, engaging voice, and love for her husband leave the reader hopeful that happiness is eminently possible even for those who don't fit neatly into society's gender "boxes".

Helen Boyd not only opened my mind and heart to the experiences and realities of an under- and mis-represented people, she did so with clarity , brevity and wit. A thoroughly engaging book it is a must-read for anyone either integrated in or tangentially affected by gender issues of any and all kinds. Thank you, Ms. Boyd, for creating this much needed volume and for researching your subject matter so completely and objectively.

There have always been crossdressers and other transgendered people, but there has not been such a brilliant examination of the subject since Magnus Hirschfeld himself (to whom this book is dedicated) coined the word "transvestite." Whether you are one, you know one, or you are merely fascinated with the subjects of human sexuality and relationships, this is a must-read. This book, with its intimate portraits of people and relationships, has scholarly depth and page-turner readability. Helen Boyd has produced a masterpiece of cultural anthropology, gender studies and sexuality which will be a classic.

Helen Boyd writes a personal, detailed and extremely candid account of her experience with her cross-dressing husband. A must-read for anyone interested in or curious to learn more about this alternative life style.