on August 16, 2010
I really like this book. It is not just more of the same. It sets out some clear actions that are not all so obvious and not simply rehashed from other books. It explains clearly how each of your actions will influence your child's growth; both the bad actions your need to avoid and the pro-active, positive actions you should be taking. Compared to other well known books on parenting, I'd say this one is set apart from many others I've read in that it provides some refreshing (but not surprising) ideas that make sense.
I highly recommend this book. Applies to parents of young children up through the teen years.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on September 15, 2003
I've read, browsed and perused many a parenting advice book over the course of the past 10 years, since the conception of our first child. This book, by far, is my favorite for many reasons.
Dr. Medhus is, herself, a mom. She is also a medical doctor. She knows children as a parent and as a professional. Through both of these honorable professions, she has a view of the good, the bad and the just plain ugly sides of parenting and child-raising. She also has a wonderfully funny sense of humor -- very down to earth and realistic (right down to booger-picking information).
This is a book, and a writer, to which (and whom) I can relate. Dr. Medhus is not preachy in any sense and in a candid, humorous way offers well-thought-out and well-organized suggestions and solutions to try. As with any parenting method, consistency is a plus -- and what you'll get, or should get, if you use the methods described in this book, are children who will start to think for themselves. If you have a child like our youngest son, who doesn't seem to care that his baseball uniform will be a filthy wrinkled mess if he leaves it on the floor instead of putting it in the laundry, it may take a little while longer for him to catch on than if you have a complacent child.
Dr. Medhus reminds parents to have a sense of humor -- and I'm
starting to see the amusing side of the baseball uniform being filthy for the next game, although I know my extremely frustrated and temper-tantrum-throwing first-grader won't find it funny one bit ... he will, however, see the consequences of not listening, and realize the consequences he, himself, stated : "It won't be washed for my next game?" Live and learn.
And "let them learn" is one of Dr. Medhus' underlying themes. For, by learning (even if it is the "hard way"), they'll start to think for themselves. And you'll no longer have to remind your child that, should she forget to do her homework and receive that after school detention, she'll miss going to a movie with her friends.
There's a section toward the middle of the book that addresses
particular familial situations that I absolutely LOVE. Dr. Medhus lists specific issues, in alphabetical order -- from Boredom to Booger Picking (okay, so that's under "Annoying Habits"), from Laziness to Body Piercing and everything beyond and between, she has ideas, suggestions and solutions.
I look forward to her next book!
on August 27, 2002
Page after page all made it clear that Dr. Medus really did her homework in putting together this great book on raising a confident and intrinsically successful child. Being a new father I find it a little daunting in being responsible (at least partially) for the behavioral molding of a human being. This book was a real eye opener is so many ways, from methods of dealing with conflict, to getting your child to accept his/her bedtime. In many instances I would finish reading a certain hypothetical scenario Dr. Medus had invented and think "wow that's exactly how I felt growing up!" Since my daughter is still only 6 months old I plan to reread this book many more times while she is growing up. I'd even recommend those without children to read it as it really hits home on how much our society is "externally directed" rather than internally.
on September 12, 2001
The problmes that seem pervasive among youth today, from mindless consumerism and premature sex to school shootings and drug abuse, have raised an uproar on all sides, and the blame for these ills gets bounced around like a ping-pong ball!--TV, video games, lack of religion, rap music, and on and on. But Dr. Medhus, after hundreds of interviews with children from all kids of backgrounds, reaches the conclusion that the problems really all spring from a common source: personalities that react to outside forces rather than their own beliefs and morals. Laying out the difference between "externally directed" people who act according to impulses, peer pressure, and the fear of punishment, and "self-directed" people, who have been taught to think for themselves and follow their own consciences, she goes on to share parenting methods intended to encourage the introspection, empathy, and high self-esteem that gives self-directed children their ability to resist negative influences. The author discusses specific techniques for handling many kinds of situations, with rules and disciplinary measures that help kids understand why bad behavior is wrong, instead of shaming or scaring them into blind submission. Indispensible advice for parents seeking to inspire their kids to self-confidence, adventurousness, independence, competence, and the ability to make positive contributions to the world.--MZ
on September 11, 2001
Dr. Medhus has successfully communicated her great knowledge of raising strong, independent children. This experience is based on real life - with her family - as well as the more traditional doctor's observations.
I reccomend it to every parent who is trying to raise stong and successful children in these difficult times.
on July 22, 2001
Wow, what a great read! Dr. Medhus highlights some seemingly "easy", yet truly profound ways that all parents, no matter what stage they are at, can use to improve their interactions with their children. I am a mother of two, and try daily to have a positive impact on my girls lives. Reading this pointed out to me many venues where by simply shifting my paradigm slightly, I can more effectively be the parent that I strive to be. Thank you Dr. Medhus for sharing your knowledge with parents everywhere. You certainly have touched our lives.
on July 4, 2001
Raising Children Who Think For Themselves provides parents with a new approach to directing children, covering the methods which foster independent thinking. Chapters point out differences between children who are externally directed to make decisions and those who are self-directed and use reasoning powers, providing plenty of examples on how parents can foster the latter.
on June 19, 2001
This should be required reading for all adults and teenagers. It makes you look at why you make the choices you make.
As a parent, you will learn to guide your children towards makeing choices based on listening to their inner voice of reason, instead of listening to external influences.
I now have problem solving dialogue with my children on many sensitive issue affecting their life.
"Raising Children Who Think for Themselves" has made my daily life so pleasant. Thank you, Dr. Medhus.
on June 4, 2001
THIS BOOK IS A MUST-HAVE if you want your child to be independent, confident, responsible and able to make sound decisions without your constant hovering. If you read and incorporate its advice into your life, by the time your children reach adulthood, you will have done your job as a parent well. The author gives more practical suggestions for real-life situations than I've ever seen in any book on child-rearing, and is particularly helpful for those of us with children about to enter or in middle school/jr. high school. Dr. Medhus also explains how parents can encourage even younger children to be self-directed, so that many problems associated with adolescence can be avoided. If every parent can raise ONE self-directed child, the world will be a better place for us all.