Customer Reviews

Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As a male, I disagree with the reviewer who said that this book is for women only. On the other hand, I will state that many men may find it difficult to read. But that is not a good reason to avoid grappling with the concepts that are presented here.

Several years ago I attempted to read another book on boundaries that caused me to reach the conclusion that "boundaries" can add to division in marriage. Fortunately, someone encouraged me to try this excellent volume by Anne Katherine.

What makes this book potentially challenging for men is that many of the cases presented here involve women whose boundaries (physical, sexual, emotional, social, etc.) have been violated by men. One can easily come to the conclusion that all men are jerks. But a man can also begin to reflect on these cases and perhaps see similarities to things he has done to others (women, children, parents, coworkers, etc.) over the years.

Any growing human being wants to learn from their mistakes. But sometimes it takes a book like this to cause an individual (male or female) to see the extent of the damage he or she has done by violating various boundaries. Seeing the pain and hurt expressed on these pages might cause individuals to examine similar pain they may have caused in others.

So, while one begins to come to grips with--and begins to honor--the boundaries of others, the reader can also begin to reevaluate his or her own boundaries. In my case, I immediately thought of a physician I sometimes see who is also a friend of the family. Since I value his friendship, I now realize that it would be better for me to see other physicians in his clinic in the future.

So, men, go ahead. Give this book a try. It can only help you grow as a human being. It will most likely improve your relationships at the same time.

I was raised with very few boundaries... I did not know they were a good thing. So this book took me by surprise. This book is well written and gave me a solid understanding of what to do to make the changes that I have needed for a long time. Well done.

If an interaction feels icky and you don't know why, perhaps this book can explain things.

We can't control how others treat us, but this book shows us how to tell them, in a positive and productive manner how we feel about being treated poorly.

This book is also an eye-opener for those who may not even be aware that their boundaries are being violated. The author illustrates many types of boundaries and how they can be respected (or disrespected).

By following the advice in this book, you will improve your interactions with others.

*Included in this book is a free jerk filter. It does an excellent job of weeding out those who choose to react badly when you set your boundaries.

Anne Katherine has found a way of breaking through the brick wall of denial. Admitting one is codependent triggers a sense of shame in many. But, through many case examples describing recognizable scenarios, Ms. Katherine shows with great compassion, the rationality behind the self-destructive behaviors of individuals and couples. Yet, easy to read and simply put, with optional questions for exploration. This book is a real gift to those who suffer from unhappiness due to poor relationship with oneself or loved ones. Give it to someone you love, or better still, give this gift to yourself.

Excellent for anyone who is trying to get a handle on what interpersonal boundaries are and how they work.

The concept of interpersonal boundaries can be hard to grasp, but Anne Katherine's book makes it easy, even for a layperson. Clear and concise, this book can be read on a single afternoon, but keep you thinking for days.

Including exercises designed to help increase awareness of boundaries, and life stories that illustrate how boundary dysfunction occurs, the book paints a clear picture of boundaries, enmeshment, and triangulation.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a good parent, have a successful marriage, resolve childhood and current issues, or even manage a well functioning workplace with good employee relations.

I was introduced to this book while undergoing intensive therapy in a hospital psychiatric ward. I can't say enough good things about it. It's a very powerful book that allowed me to understand so many diffuclties in my life and relationships that had left countless unanswered questions. It was like getting 20/20 vision for the first time in 39 years! Everything in my life came into focus as I read this book. Virtually every page brought new meaning to my life. I had to get my own copy and I now consider it my personal "bible." Newly discharged, I am now reading "Where to Draw the Line" by the same author and finding it every bit as meaningful. Both books are a "must read!"

As an eating disorders specialist and registered dietitian, I find many people who are using the obsession with food to avoid dealing with other issues. In many cases these are boundary issues and this book does an EXCELLENT job of helping people improve their boundaries and become more emotionally healthy people which is a necessity in recovering from disordered eating issues and other addictions. I would highly recommend this book and I frequently distribute it to my patients

This is an excellent book to help in the understanding of what consitiutes a boundary in interpersonal relationships with family, friends and co-workers. If everyone recognized boundaries then there would be little need for therapists and counselors. Sometimes a boundary exists where it isn't readily recognizable and that's where this book comes in very handy when working with my clients. It's written in relatively "jargon free" simple style so one can concentrate on the content of the subject matter, not the vocabulary of the author. For those interested in personal growth, this is a winner!

This seems to have been written mainly for women who have suffered some sort of sexual abuse. It may be useful for such women, but for anyone else with boundary problems, I'd recommend the same author's "Where to Draw the Line."

This book is simply amazing! It illuminates and teaches in the most gentlest of ways. More importantly, it reminds the reader that their story can be found in the stories of others reaffirming our indelible connection to others. I disagree with a previous review that stated that this book is only for women or for victims of sexual abuse. That statement only serves to generalize and minimize what this book can truly offer. Both men and women can appreciate the wisdom found in this book. Enjoy!