Customer Reviews

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

5 star:		(53)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

My mother-in-law, who is a child psychologist, introduced me to this book. She's been using it for years in her practice. I have been irritated by other books that seem to talk exclusively about how to help children while ignoring parents' needs. This book has great real-life examples and doesn't come down on stressed out parents for getting angry or saying dumb things. Instead, it gives practical exercises and rules for helping your relationship. Some of them are hard to do. Habits are hard to change. But it has made a world of difference between me and my 3-year-old. I'm so glad to have read this book so early in her life. I think it will spare us some of the heartache my mother and I experienced, mostly due to poor communication skills.

I bought this book 30 years ago when my kids were small and I was tearing my hair out!! It was an eye opening experience. I was so pleased to see that it's still available and that there is also a book for communicating with teens. I just bought one for each of my daughters who have young families. I'm sure they will learn some important skills as I did.

Original book. The cartoons make the book an easy and quick read. Good information. The book covers many scenarios with your kids and provides insightfdul hints.

I read chapter one in the morning before my 3-year-old son woke up and most of our problems were solved by lunchtime! I went from wondering why I became a mother to smooth sailing. I didn't realize that I was denying everything he said or thought because in my mind I was the reasonable adult and he was the difficult toddler and if he thinks that vegetables are gross then I'd have to correct him because he is wrong and they are healthy. After I began acknowledging his point of view with the techniques in the book, he seemed to trust me enough to listen to and cooperate with me, instead of resisting everything I told him to do because I was resisting and squashing all of his opinions. Great illustrative examples - it's my favourite parenting book ever.

Children are like computers - they can do great things but they speak their own language. This book teaches parents how to talk to their kids by first listening and acknowledging children's feelings. This 7-chaptered book is packed with scenarios that parents can relate to, comic strips to keep readers motivated and simple assignments and techniques that deliver results. From the methods you will learn to avoid turning simple conversations into argument, learn how to engage children's willing cooperation, use alternatives to punishment, set firm limits with goodwill, and encourage children's autonomy. Difficult concepts made easy through their effective writing and the recommended exercises make practice art of parenting perfect. A life-saver to many families including my own, HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN will benefit you and your family greatly. If you have more than one child, Faber and Mazlish's other book, SIBLING WITHOUT RIVALRY is also highly recommended.

I have read this book from cover to cover several times - it's an easy read. But like chess - easy to learn, difficult to achieve mastery. Many of us need to learn methods to use in communication that were not modeled to us as children - a tough call. But with practice, this positive approach to communication will not only help you with your child, but with your spouse, your friends, co-workers, bosses, etc. As a friend, parent and educator, I've given this book away numerous times (and bought it numerous times!)
As for the first review above concerning the particular feedback "You must be so proud of yourself"... In using those words, you also acknowledge your positive feelings towards the child - a double whammy because children learn how to reflect on their own behaviour and give themselves the kudos they may not get in "real life".

This book was first recommended to me when I was student teaching. The principles worked so well in the classroom, I decided to re-read it when I had my own child. Even though my baby is only 10 months old, I have already benefited from the values taught in this book. I have begun to teach myself to think on the levels taught, and it is helping in ALL of my relationships- respecting and listening, thinking and focusing on the people we love. This book is as valuable now as it was twenty years ago. Every parent should own a copy.

I see my son only 3-4 times per year but talk regularly with him, his mother, and stepfather regarding parenting issues. I've used this book for input into the telephone discussions we have. I've strongly encouraged his mother and stepfather to read and periodically review this important book. Our sixteen year old son is flexing his teen oats. We need to constantly work to find positive, growth-oriented solutions for and make him aware of the consequences of the negative situations he finds himself in. This book helps immensely.

So far I think this is a different perspective on how to talk to children and I think it's a very respectful and thoughtful approach. It definitely helped me look at my interactions with my children in a new way and I think it has helped them feel more understood.

This is definitely a book you want to read prior to having trouble. I identified many, many things that I was doing and saying that would have negative implications later. For example, my loving nicknames (stinky feet, shorty) can quickly turn into "it's okay to call people names" in his little brain. Add five or 6 years and you have me pulling out my hair wondering why on earth my sweet little boy is a name caller and a bully. Oh wait. I taught him that.

Many things are obvious to you when you read it, but if you are like me, you need them pointed out to you.

Read this when your kids are 2 or 3. So you have time to practice before they start understanding EVERYTHING you say.