Customer Reviews

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

The book is a very helpful resource for those interested in nonmanogomy. But it seems to lack some of the convention, get the ball rolling material that Ethical Slut presents. But what makes this book by far better is the the series of pages where it asks you to examine yourself and see if you are prepared to embark on this adventure of growth. It's too bad though, that the way in which those pages are handled. The material is written so ligthly that I would imagine people would simply read through them and assume that they are prepared and can handle such things.

Those pages that ask if you are ready, are the marrow of the book for me. I would have loved chapters devoted to each of those page long statements. But instead, you get the classic chapter on jealousy.

I could tell that the author knows quite a bit about what she is writing about. However it doesn't ccome across in the arrangement of the book or the language that she uses to express the information. The sentences and messages seemed so trivial and didn't carry with it the weight that I feel the book needed.

If you are morally repulsed by the concept of establishing a loving relationship with several partners at once, don't buy this book. This book won't change your mind.

BUT...if polyamory appeals to you, read on!

Much of the book outlines what should be common sense, but common sense is often the first thing forgotten in any sexual relationship. Anapol writes very clearly and consisely and is very complete in describing each point to her plan for a successful intimate relationship with your mates. Each point that she raises makes sense and I have yet to disagree with any of her ideas.

This book is easy to read. Sometimes, books of this nature focus on flowery language and bury the most important topics with allusions. Instead, this book reads like a straight forward how-to manual for your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Her plain language approach works well in detailing what you need to do to re-channel jealousy as well as what you need to do to make sure everyone in your household remains happy.

Many of the practices and concepts that Anapol raises can also be applied to monogamous relationships, but this book was written with the polyamorous in mind.

The author is surely correct to point out that in modern cultures, strict monogamy is minimally practiced. Deviations include extra-marital affairs and serial monogamy, that is, divorce and remarriage. Based on this reality, the author actually advocates for responsible non-monogamy, or polyamory, which involves a wide range of sexual relationships involving at least three individuals in the same period of time.

The author assures the reader that polyamory is not the equivalent of "swinging," but the differences seem to be negligible. She suggests "coming out" and joining polyamory groups, the sole purpose of which is to gain intimate partners. However, generally, loving relationships are not dependent on being formed in groups where sex is obviously foremost.

To the author, polyamory is an honest approach to life. Negative emotions like jealously have to be overcome. And there is some truth to that. But she downplays the realities of life in maintaining even one relationship. For those who work fulltime with countless family responsibilities including the raising of children, the demands of establishing and maintaining a second relationship without severely impacting the first would be daunting to say the least. Furthermore, it is asking a lot of the other partner to accept extra-marital relationships regardless of any attempts at honesty. The difficulties go way beyond jealousy. It is no wonder that in the interests of self- and marital-preservation that most affairs are kept discreet.

It is difficult to see where the concept of polyamory has a whole lot of validity for the general population. A general life-style of polyamory would seem to appeal to those with strong sexual proclivities, with few real-world, time-consuming commitments. Needless to say, this book is not going to be the basis of a surge of uninhibited, multi-partnered individuals. Most people are just not that obsessed with sex.

Dr. Anapol does a marvelous job sharing the innerworkings of polyamorous relationships. I especially enjoy how she peppers the insightful work with personal experiences in polyamorous relationships. Dr. Anapol takes you step by step through the unique world of polyamoury and explores both the blissful blessings and pitfalls to avoid. Raziel-Thadeus.

This book always comes up in discussions about polyamory and its many forms. It is a great intro to polyamory, as well as a good reference for people already into the poly lifestyle. I found some important parts to be geared more for later in the relationship rather than introductory. But all in all, an excellent resource for polyamory.

Couples and Individuals will love this fast read, jam-packed with useful information about responsible non-monogamous relationships. The sections are clearly defined and illustrated, making this book the perfect primer for the practice of Polyamory.

This is a concise and easily referenced collection of modern thought / research on the subject & Practice of responsible non-monogamy, without complicated technical jargon or reference to obscure medical journals.... In other words, it is a great, easy to read book that you can share with your friends, Lover(s) and prospective love interests.

For those familiar with the basic concepts of non-monogamy / Polyamory--and the work of Richard Sutphen (Radical Spirituality), Wayne Dyer, etc.--"Polyamory : The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships,"
by Deborah M, Dr. Anapol, will be a perfect addition to your library (if you can get it back from your friends).

This book introduces the subject to the beginner with comprehensive, fun and exciting concepts that will peak the interest of nearly anyone.

For those who are sick of being bound to ridiculous, antiquated standards of "morality" that lead to Divorce, heartbreak and disputes over children, this book offers a wonderful, Sensible alternative ! However, people with extreme jealous tendencies may not be ready for this New Age philosophy of "Love without Limits" (or, Nearly without limits).

These practices Work, in relationships, without question--if all the Love/sexual partners are in agreement. Each type of Multiple relationship is described with detail and diagramed for reference while discussing these issues with your Loved one(s).

The Author of this book did a wonderful job collecting information & resources to help those along the path, which are also seeking a more Honest, Sensible, Responsible and Self-fulfilling lifestyle.

The flow and ease with-which the author explains these issues (and the occasional cartoons) should help anyone break the ice, if they want to discuss "Opening" their relationship to a higher level of Experience, Love and Trust.

I agree this book is a "must read" for those exploring alternate lovestyles. Even if the practice of polyamory never enters into your relationship, it really helped us deal with jealousy, we learned that jealousy is truely a teacher...and an indicator for needing better communication. My husband and I have expanded our communication skills 100 fold since reading this book....we share so much more of an appreciation for each other.

I have a very open mind about sex and the possibilities of polyamory, my husband was on the other end of the scale, because of your book....he too is excited, and more understanding that I don't "reject him"....he realizes that just because I love someone else, doesn't mean I love him less. When the ugly head of jealousy arises in him....we bring out the book....its sort of a Polyamorists BIBLE!

The book is definately not for those of closed minds or deep religious, monogomous beliefs...I mean really, how could one person possible satisfy our carnal sexual needs forever. Just like you can have more than one freind...you CAN have more than one lover. The book helped me realize that I do appreciate individual uniquness ... in all aspects of life.

Indeed this book has made me a better person, communicator, mother....and hopefully lover. Thanks Deborah!

As you read the reviews of this sadly misguided book, ask yourself one question---Has anyone mentioned the children? Examine all reviews prior to the date of this one and you will see that the children are far from everyone's mind who revels in this book's ideas. Those advocating this kind of behavior have a "me-first" perspective. Don't be deceived by this shallow book. Be a giver---a giver to the young and defenseless---rather than one who grabs after his or her own pleasure. Exaulting pleasure is a big mistake. Ask someone who is elderly who has wasted his or her life on pleasure-seeking and you may wake up quicker than you think. It takes courage to change.

I found it to be informative about responsible non-monogamy and the it shows the models of the relationships. i thought there should of been other references such as the O'Neils "Open Marriage" or Mary Ann Watson's "Breaking the Bonds" or Ryam Nearing's Polyfidelity Primer. but i found it overall quite informative.

A combination of a European upbringing and a California lifestyle made this an intesting book. In combination with knowing a number of well educated, stable, sane, really nice polyamory couples.

The fact is, the book is a valuable book for anyone be they single, married or interested in the polyamory lifestyle. The authors are not trying to convince anyone to become polyamory but are simply hoping to educate the curious and help those who have chosen the lifestyle and now find themselves wondering how to make it work, since the positives out weight the negatives.

Those who live in the greater San Francisco bay area, and places like Santa Barbara, and Boston, New York and any place where educated, progressive people live will find the book interesting. This is not a lifetsyle of "swinging" or having sex with strangers. It is more like an extended family or as my husband jokes, like having your ex's and your spouse and being one big happy family.

Who won't like the book. People who are fundamentalist religious types. Those who are staid and never curious about other lifestyle choices. Just because you read it and become informed doesn't mean you choose this path in life.

But it is the best book on the subject of polyamory that I have seen. Oh and polyamory is NOT polygamy. Which is what the Mormons practiced and which I think is sexist since the man can have as many wives as he wants. Polyamory if about having an open and completely honest sexual, mental etc relationship with more than one person.