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on February 4, 2013
I'm kinky, poly and queer and I found this book to be useful. Yes, it's garnished with biblical quotes and marriage elitism but the five love languages I believe can be relevant to everyone nevertheless.

It kind of reminds me of the Myers-Briggs personality tests - remember those? They helped us measure how social and how intro/extroverted we are, etc. Well, it's kind of like that in this book. The author gets us to explore how we prefer to be loved so that we can communicate it better to our partner(s). Are you more likely to feel loved through touch? Gifts? Acts of service? Quality time? Loving words? A combination? Which one? What does it look like for you? What about your partner/s? Here's a whole new way to have a conversation about wants and needs!

Another tool in my toolbox!
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on October 10, 2010
The title should be changed to "MARRIED Men's Edition."

I bought the book hoping it would be more specific to all men (and sans the sissy purple cover!) than the original version.

This book is 100% a marriage counselling book. I am not married.
Don't buy this book if you're single, and looking for generic advice on love languages of all those around you. It's only about YOU and YOUR WIFE.

With that said:

-The content of this book is really excellent. It makes one think hard about how he treats (and is treated by) his significant other.

-Clearly, there is an agenda to the book, as every new chapter lists the five love languages again, and every few pages, Chapman reminds the reader that everyone needs to discover his own and his wife's love language.

-This is a book written for the average Joe. It's not heavy with high-brow wordage or university-level concepts of psychology, philosophy, or theology. It is simply and plainly written, and is at times redundant. Chapman likely does this on purpose, to drive home points to thick-headed readers, or those reading it while falling asleep :)

I highly recommend this to all married men. I do think it has prepared me for marriage in some neat ways, but it is certainly not hitting me exactly where I'm at at this moment. Perhaps the 'singles edition' is better-suited, and not as vacuous as its description originally sounded.
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on August 15, 2015
If a couple really decides to use the suggestions in this book , it could save their relationship/marriage. I would highly recommend this book to everyone. There is even a Quiz that can be taken to determine what your Primary Love Language is. I wish I had this book years ago, and if I had I may Not have gotten divorced. If I had I known these 5 Love Language I think we could have rebuilt our marriage. WE both had emotionally EMPTY LOVE Tanks because we did not know HOW to show each other that we truly loved and cared for one another in the LOVE Language that OUR spouse/partner could Really understand. My Primary Love Language was Quality Time. I wanted him to spend Quality Time with me, doing Anything, it did not matter if it was just going out for supper together, or going to a movie, His primary Love Language, were words of affirmation/compliments and Acts of service when I would do something really special & nice just for him. We never did enough of these things in our spouses Correct Love Language and never recognized this, and Now I am a divorce statistic. Gary Chapman the author has counselled thousands and save so many relationships/marriages. You will be extremely happy that you read this book. I now use this book as a guide to All my other relationships and try to speak their Primary Love language, whether it is with my Sister, my son, my Aunts, etc. etc. When you find out What really & truly makes others feel truly loved and special then you are on the road to very happy successful relationships no matter who it is with.
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I have used the ideas in this book over and over again. Increasing my own awareness of my love languages are and running little experiments to find out what my partner's love languages are.

Making a point to notice that my partner is showing me love, even when it is not one of my key love languages. Knowing my partner loves me is almost as important as how he expresses his love.
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on May 13, 2016
A wonderful read! I bought it by suggestion from our pastor when my husband and I were doing our marriage prep classes. Will definitely be buying for any friends and family for wedding gifts from now on.
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on May 14, 2016
Great read. I discovered certain aspects about myself and also a new perspective on my relationship. I would recommend this book to couples trying to rediscover themselves or grow in their relationship.
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on December 5, 2006
This is simply one of the best relationship books ever written. Both my wife and I read the book and completed the action items, and it has helped our marriage immensely. Chapman's insight into how to keep your partner's "love tank" full is innovative and practical. The book is written in easy to read chapters, and Chapman cites his work with other couples to illustrate specific points. By doing so, he gives the reader a "real world" examples of how understanding your partner's love language will strengthen your relationship and open communication. The reader can easily relate to these examples and identify with their challenges, and subsequent victories. My wife and I recommend this book to every couple we know, whether their relationship is good, bad or other.
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on September 2, 2013
There are lots of way of describing personality types or learning styles that bring insights into how we live our lives. this book does the same for how we have relationships. it provides perspectives that can help us value the differences in those we love who have a way of being that just does not make sense to us.
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on July 16, 2013
This is a great book. People do not know how many different ways there are to love someone. Or how someone you sees love from their perspective. Fancinating and a fantastic book. Best to read chapters with your partner, helps to get to know each other in a different way. Helped us.
I reccommend this for every couple. Especially if you find communication or signals are crossing. It's a good read.
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on June 3, 2006
The number one thing I learned from this book is that people receive and interpret love in varying ways. Just because I intend to show love, doesn't always mean that the other person feels loved when they receive my action or gift.

This book instructs readers in identifying, understanding, and learning the ways that the other people in our lives (mainly our spouse) receive love and loving messages best. This information can then be used to actually show them love in their way...and that translates into them really, deeply, and sincerely feeling love and loved.

This is a must read for:

- married couples who have celebrated many, many years together

- newly married couples

- engaged couples

- people thinking of getting engaged

- anyone who counsels married or engaged couples

- anyone who wants to learn to show more love to their spouse

- anyone who wants to learn to show more love to their children, friends, or other relatives.

*You don't need to wait until your marriage/relationship is in turmoil to implement the principles in this book (although it would be a help if that's where you're at)'s a great resource to make a good thing better!

This book is so incredibly helpful and practical...I highly recommend this book to men and women who are thinking of marrying. It is also a great help in other close relationships with children, friends, or extended relatives.

I thought I already knew how to show love to my husband...but this book revealed to me ways I could show even more love ... and best of all ... I learned how to show love in a way that he receives a 'love message' best. In turn, he is showing me more love (even though I already felt pretty loved) ... and he didn't even read the book yet!!

This book was so good that I bought an extra copy to circulate among my friends. I am hoping to do a couples' study using this book in the fall of 2006!
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