14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is the Love You're Giving What Your Child Is Receiving?
Chapman, with co-writer Ross Campbell, M.D., have written The Five Love Languages Of Children, which applies the love language theory to children. How can you tell your child's main love language? Chapman offers these suggestions:
1. Observe how your child expresses love to you.
Chapman and Campbell: Watch your child; he may well be speaking his own language. This is...
Published on Oct 7 2003 by Janet Boyer
3.0 out of 5 stars Some good child-rearing material
After his wonderful book,The Five Love Languages Dr. Chapman wrote this book with children in mind. With this book parents can learn how to express to their children how much they love them in a way that the children will understand. Overall, it is a pretty good book, an easy read, and with some good lessons.
Published on Aug 16 2000 by A. J. Valasek
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is the Love You're Giving What Your Child Is Receiving?,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)Chapman, with co-writer Ross Campbell, M.D., have written The Five Love Languages Of Children, which applies the love language theory to children. How can you tell your child's main love language? Chapman offers these suggestions:
1. Observe how your child expresses love to you.
Chapman and Campbell: Watch your child; he may well be speaking his own language. This is particularly true of a young child, who is very likely to express love to you in the language he desires most to receive.
I've seen this with my own 4 1/2 year old. Noah will come up to me or my husband, and try to engage us in a wrestling match. Or he'll pat our arms, give us a hug, etc. He has shown us that his main love language is that of Physical Touch!
2. Observe how your child expresses love to others.
If you notice your child making crafts for relatives, or wanting to take presents to classmates or teacher, this may indicate that her primary love language is Gifts.
3. Listen to what your child requests most often.
If your child often asks you questions like "How do I look, Mommy?", "What do you think of my drawing?", or "Did you think I did well at practice today?", this pattern may indicate that his love language is Words of Affirmation.
4. Notice what your child most frequently complains about.
Frequent complaints such as "You never have time for me", "Why don't you play games with me?", or "We never do things together" would be indicative of the need for Quality Time.
5. Give your child a choice between two options.
Chapman and Campbell suggests to lead your child to make choices between two love language. For example, a Dad might say to his son, "I have some free time Saturday. Would you like me to fix your bike, or would you rather go to the park together and shoot some hoops?". The choice is between Acts of Service and Quality Time. A mother may say, "I have some time tonight. Would you like to go shopping, and I'll help you pick out a new outfit, or would you rather stay home and we'll do a puzzle together?" You've given her the choice between Gifts and Quality Time.
Chapman and Campbell explain: As you give options for several weeks, keep a record of your child's choices. If most of them tend to cluster around one of the five love languages, you have likely discovered which one makes your child feel most loved. At times, your child will not want either option, and will suggest something else. You should keep a record of those requests also, since they may give you clues.
Of course, the choices you offer your child will depend on age and interest.
I highly recommend this book for understanding your child's own unique love languages, and how you can better fill his or her "love tank"!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An invaluable resource for parents,
This review is from: Five Love Languages of Children (Paperback)The 5 Love Languages of Children takes the concepts originally written about in the original 5 Love Languages book, and seeks to apply them to parenting children. Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell describe the emotional need of a child to have a full "love tank" where they feel unconditionally loved, and then they describe the 5 basic ways that a child needs to be loved to achieve that full tank. These languages include physical touch (i.e. hugging or kissing a child); words of affirmation (telling a child how appreciated or beautiful they are); quality time (a child receiving focused, undivided attention from their parent); acts of service (a parent serving their child with an attitude of love, such as helping a child fix their bike); and gifts (giving a child a gift as an expression of love). Although children need to be loved using all of these languages in different ways, each child will primarily give and receive love using one of these languages.
I found that this book was very well-written, laid out in an easy-to-read manner, and incredibly useful to me as a parent. The authors clearly explain the concept of the love languages and how they apply to children, and as I was reading I was able to consider my own children and how they need to be loved. For example, I know that my oldest daughter's love language is physical touch, and that nothing tells her she's special so much as having a hug from dad or a snuggle with mom. I really appreciated how the end of each chapter on a certain love language lists specific ideas for how to convey a particular love language to your child. These ideas are practical and doable, and I will definitely be consulting these lists many times over the years. The authors have also done an excellent job of explaining the concept of the languages throughout the developmental stages of children, such as how they may apply when children are young as opposed to when they are teenagers. This book contains valuable concepts that are not only helpful to me as a parent, but are also important for my children to learn and apply in their own relationships as they grow up.
I highly recommend this book and give it 5 out of 5 stars.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received this book free from Moody Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful with examples,
By A Customer
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)Gary Chapman identifies 5 ways children experience love. He suggests that each child has one or two primary ways of feeling loved. The book can therefore help people maximize their emotional impact with children by employing those primary areas during interactions with the children in their lives.
The redundant nature of the description of the 5 "languages" and excessive story telling force me to give this book 4 stars. Otherwise the information and examples are helpful to those willing to make the effort to improve their relationships with children.
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all parents!,
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This review is from: Five Love Languages of Children (Paperback)This book helped me gain so much understanding into my children and how they need and want to be loved. I understand their behaviour so much more now.
5.0 out of 5 stars WoW...Our family has changed!!!,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)I can't speak of the emotion that fills my heart when thinking of this book. It is saving my family! My husband and I now know how to satisfy our children in the most basic of ways...Love!! And I will tell you a secret: They do their chores now with no complaints!! Their "love tanks" are full, and they are happier than I have ever seen them! I think it should be handed out to every parent at the arrival of their new baby.
I also have "The Five Love Languages" and it is just as worthy! This book should be a MUST for every married/dating couple in the world! Actually, I think maybe it should be handed out at birth! LOL It saved my marriage! I kid you not! Our whole family has been reborn because of these books.
I have shared the "love language" books with many people, married, dating, and parents alike, and hope that you choose it too! Your life will be changed for the better. Guaranteed!!
5.0 out of 5 stars One Of The VERY BEST Parenting Books Around!!!,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)I read this book to try and get some ideas to help us deal with our three year old who was having a "difficult phase". I'd read over a dozen other "discipline" books and all of them were useless [except "Playful Parenting", which was also fantastic]. Thank Goodness I found this one! It was *tremendously* helpful! I can't recommend this book enough - the 5 love languages WORK - reading this book has truly helped me become a better mother and has had an extremely beneficial impact on my daughter's behavior and our relationship.
While this book is recommended more for older children, I think ANY parent could benefit from reading and implementing the ideas. Using the suggestions in the book to ensure that your child is receiving the love s/he needs will help build a better relationship no matter what the child's age or the parental circumstances.
The only complaint I had about the book was the chapter towards the end on "anger" - it is very poorly written and terribly confusing. I'm still not sure what the heck it was supposed to be about. But with that brief exception, this is a PHENOMENAL book that has the power to help you vastly improve your relationship with your child/ren.
I also recommend "The Five Love Languages" [for couples] too - a strong relationship with your partner is a precious gift for your child/ren. This book was GREAT for our marriage! Our happy family owes Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell a HUGE Thank You!
5.0 out of 5 stars ModerGoose's review,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)This is an excellent book. I really learned alot from reading this book. I learned to be more observant to how I show love to others.
5.0 out of 5 stars Adds another dimension to communicating effectively,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)This outstanding book addresses how each child (adults as well) expresses and receives love best through one of five primary "languages" - quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Although children need to be spoken to in each of these love languages, there's one love language that meets their deepest emotional needs and should be used often with them (and authors caution how you use that language for discipline). The information in this book complements books that address communicating with children based on their temperament (such as "Raising your Spirited Child" and "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka). I also appreciate that the author included an informative chapter on "love languages in marriage", instead of just a one-liner encouraging readers to buy his book dedicated to that subject.
Bottom line - Even if you've read tons of parenting books, you will truly learn something new from this one - something to enhance your relationship with your child and adults in your life. You'll probably even learn something about yourself.
4.0 out of 5 stars Miracle balm for your family life,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)In his previous book "The Five Love Languages," best-selling author Gary Chapman contends that there are five major methods of love-giving ("love languages"), and each person responds differently to each type. Each person also "speaks" a primary love language, and responds strongly to one of the types of love-giving. Chapman identifies these love languages as: physical touch, gifts, quality time, acts of service, and words of affirmation. In order to best make someone feel loved, you must "speak" their primary love language to them.
In this book, Chapman is teamed up with best-selling author Ross Campbell, who has written some very successful books on relationships with children. The premise of this book is that the love languages are not only applicable to the adults in your life, but to your children as well, and can in fact have a major effect on their behavior and happiness.
The book begins with a general discussion of love languages, some stories illustrating the dramatic difference that utilizing the knowledge of love languages has made in some parents' relationships with their children, and an overview of the book. Chapman and Campbell then discuss each love language in a chapter of its own, complete with real-life examples of each love language in the lives of parents and children.
The book then launches into a discussion of discipline (do NOT use a form of discipline related to your child's love language, warn the authors), as well as a brief discussion of the effect that the love language theory can have on your adult relationships (for a more in-depth discussion, see Chapman's "The Five Love Languages"). There is also quite a long discussion of "passive agressiveness" which I thought to be a bit overkill, but I'm sure is very important in the treatment of the topic (I have a feeling that this is co-author Ross Campbell's pet subject).
The information in this book is very powerful and has the potential to radically alter your relationships with your children, as well as anyone else in your life. The testamonials are very convincing, and the fact that this book, as well as others in the "Love Languages" series have enjoyed such wild success is a testimony to their effectiveness. My only complaint really was that some of the writing occasionally tended toward the cheesy side, and that often I was aware of the differences in the voices of the two authors. These are unimportant complaints, however, and do not deter me from recommending the book highly!
This book would be useful reading for any parent, no matter the quality of relationships within the family, as well as anyone else who is dealing with children on a regular basis (teachers, grandparents, babysitters, etc.).
4.0 out of 5 stars Good concepts...,
This review is from: Five Love Languages Of Children, The (Paperback)Overall good book. Repetitive style somewhat difficult to get through in spots. The "love language" concepts and how to apply them make sense and plenty of examples are given; unfortunately, the examples don't always translate well from one "language" to another. I also didn't like the "Anger and Love" chapter: the "Anger Ladder" was as clear as mud and seemed to be simply a pitch for the co-author's book.
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Five Love Languages Of Children, The by Gary Chapman (Paperback - Nov 2008)
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