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on October 6, 2006
I have a young child who tends to get very aggressive when trying to tell me that his needs aren't being met. Until recently, he never listened to anything I asked of him. I was at my wits end. I'd tried everything. Things only got worse.

Then I found the answer that unlocked the mystery behind my child's behavior in Aldort's book, "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves." It changed my relationship with my son the day I started following her recommendations. As I learned from the book (verified by my experience) it won't do any good to punish a child's behavior; it fact, it will only make it worse. There's an underlying reason for his behavior, and until I address it in an understanding and kind way, it will continue. Now I understand why he was acting the way he was and, more importantly, how I was causing it without even knowing it. Once I understood him, I could concentrate on solving the larger problem rather than correcting (punishing) the behavior.

Ever since I changed the way I interact with and speak to my child (according to Aldort's recommendations), my relationship with him has been transformed and, no surprise, he hasn't been aggressive at all. The book has given me tools of love and connection in all areas of parenting. I can't recommend this book highly enough. Buy one for yourself and one for all of your friends.
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on September 17, 2011
When I read this book for the first time, I was pregnant and looking for guidance on how to turn a page in my life, ending the cycle of psychological abuse and scarcity that I had experienced. This was something I always knew I had to do; even as a child myself, I knew I needed to be different for my own, but had no idea how to do that, or what to do instead. I gained much insight into why I am the way I am from reading this wonderful book; it is like a mirror image of my childhood (like a "what to do instead of what was done to me" manual), and I am a poster-child, so to speak, that stands as proof of what Naomi claims will be the results of the kind of parenting she advocates against. I have and continue to live with the pain of this upbringing every day.
I want to thank Naomi for the clarity that her book has provided me. As much as it breaks my heart to read about what I have always known I needed and didn't receive, it has spelled out exactly what that was (that was missing) and how to provide it for my own children.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be the best parent they can be. Whether you enjoyed your own childhood or not, this book has something to offer anyone who wants to be even better or who is starting from a place of pain and anger and doesn't know where to begin.
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on July 5, 2006
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is unlike other parenting books and much more effective. I have read good advice before, but couldn't change my habits. This book gives the tools of personal growth that make it possible to be the loving mother that I really want to be. This is not esoteric philosophizing; it is useful advice with a five-step approach that is eminently doable. Each step is illustrated with story after story about parents who discover, or rediscover, the power of love as they replace controlling parenting techniques with gentle nurturing.

In applying Ms. Aldort?s suggestions myself, I have found that my listening and communication skills are improving and I am definitely more mindful, more empathetic, and more flexible as a parent. Happily, my children have noticed this change and, even more happily, have emulated it in their relationships with each other, with their father, with me, and with friends. A little positive parenting goes a long way!!

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read, must-have book for parents who are trying to break a personal or cultural cycle of authoritarianism and start becoming the mothers and fathers they wish to be.
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on June 7, 2006
There was a time when people thought the earth was flat...this theory no longer applies. There was a time when struggling with children was the norm. This theory also no longer applies. Naomi's book is a challenge to old thinking and old theories that just don't fit when love and compassion are present.

I laughed and cried and healed as a result of reading this book and I recommend it to all parents. It is truly about changing your mind and simply finding that when love comes straight from the heart, children flourish as a result.

The book is filled with user-friendly ideas and strategies that relate to real life situations of children of all ages. Get this book you will be so happy

you did!
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on January 15, 2011
This book is not about how to train your child to do something. You learn to trust and let go, and let your child be free. When you give this a real chance, you will never need another parenting book in your life. Everything is in here, but it takes a real commitment to your self and your child to understand it all. Please read it and try it, this approach to life is what we need for peace on earth.
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on December 28, 2008
Before I read Naomi's book, I was stumbling along, struggling to maintain my sanity while raising my three kids. I knew of her writing from Life Learning(now Natural Life) and Mothering magazines and had always been intrigued by her ideas. She is not one who relies on tricks or other ways of controlling children, but rather of responding compassionately to children's real needs. The most value I have gained from her book is in learning that so much of what was going wrong in my house was due to my responses and had nothing to do with my kids. They were and are innocent. Hence her title, Raising our Children, Raising ourselves. I have learned so much about myself and grown as a parent thanks to Naomi. We can create a peaceful world, starting with creating a peaceful home by reading and following Naomi's ideas.
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on July 29, 2014
I have a 1 year old and it's never too early to start raising ourselves as parents. This book covers quite a lot to my surprise but I find it too repetitive (the constant step-by-step referral to S.A.L.V.E) after the first two chapters.
Chapters in the latter half of the book could be made shorter or more concise once the reader grasped the concept of S.A.L.V.E formula. I ended up skipping through the pages at the end.
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on December 26, 2010
If you have ever wondered what Attachment Parenting looks like when the breastfeeding-cosleeping-babywearing days are over, this book will tell you. It is not a how-to book about how to get your children to comply with you. It is a description of a relationship where the child is empowered through genuine connection and empathy from the parent. There is nothing mainstream about this book.

Naomi Aldort describes Authentic Parenting in the most enlightened, compassionate and simple terms. Her ideas for how to live in total cooperation with your children make so much sense for anyone who has struggled to enjoy day-to-day life with children of any age. Her approach is to teach parents to stop trying to manipulate, bribe and control children. Rather, the parents act as leaders by living true to their values and treating children with respect.

Children who grow up in the environment described in this book will live lives of freedom and joy. They will be authentic, confident and independent. They will be emotionally secure, emotionally mature and emotionally available.

Once we let go of all the fears that hold us back from being the kind of parents that we truly want to be, we are able to grow and learn along with our children. Reading this book, as well as Naomi's other articles, helped me to let go of all that was preventing me from fully engaging with my children and living in freedom and joy with them.
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on January 15, 2015
One of the best parenting book i ever read. I have read 30 plus. There are a few on top of the list. This is one of them along with 'positive discipline'.
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on March 5, 2007
This is the best parenting book I've found - a great leap from the many modern parenting books out there. In fact, I'd say it is the only parenting book you will ever need! I am ordering many copies and actively distributing to everyone I know.

Finally, a book that spells out with crystal clarity that yes, you can respect and trust your children fully, and love them unconditionally, without any "ifs" and "buts".

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves provides the tools for being always kind and loving in our day-to-day interactions with our children, and illustrates the guidance via eloquent real-life examples. These tools are easy to remember and put to practice, and they actually work. This book has transformed my relationship with my 10-month old, giving me permission to fully love her the way I always felt - without holding back ANYTHING! Quite a liberating shift. The guidance carries all the way from infancy through the teen years, and I am so grateful that I stumbled upon it while she is still little!

The transformative effect of the book goes way beyond parenting, as both the title, and the subtitle proposed by James Prescott on the cover ('Saving the emotional lives of our children and the future of humanity'), suggest. It lays out a readily available path to self-healing and self-realization through our relationship with our children (as well as with other people): simply by starting to examine how we respond to others a little more closely. In my humble opinion, this is one of the most important books ever written, period.

I have a wish. I grew up in France and I CANNOT WAIT to see the book translated in French and other languages, and start infusing its wisdom and compassion to non-English speakers also. Any publisher out there interested in making a difference? Call Naomi today, you'll do yourself and the world a favor. Our world needs this book. QUICK!
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