Customer Reviews

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

As the reviewer Dolphine of "ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANT BOOKS I'VE READ;A MUST HAVE!" Already wrote, this is indeed a brilliant book if you wish to live an responsible openly sexual lifestyle, but don't want to be an ass or ruthless heartbreaker. It clearly explains how to live this lifestyle in a ETHICAL and very responsible way, not to hurt others people's feelings or "trick" them, have sex with them and after that: dumping them. This is NOT the way to do it! "Well, can you do it in a right way then?" you might ask now. I'm gladly to tell you that you can. Read the book and see for yourself! ;-)

And yes, these 2 woman really rock! They tell about there own lives as examples from wich you can learn on how to do it and not to do it. Very educational, insightful, well written and It reads very easly too.
Since I am promiscual, I'm really happy and relieved that this book discribes all the do's and don't's, and a lot of "players" practicise the don't's and that's why the word promiscuity/player has such a bad name.

it also tells us about our cultural believesystem and myths we grow up believing and copying and because of this way of thinking we f**k-up our own lifes, trying to go against our own nature by trying to stay serial-monogames (the question is always:"Why do people cheat?". They never ask the question:"Does monogamy REALLY work?"). It definitly doesn't work for me. Do you also wish to be fully yourself and life your life in a way that works for YOU?? Read it!!

I enjoyed this book. It answered a lot of questions I have had about what exactly the polyamory lifestyle is. Nothing was glorified or over-exaggerated, yet by having the details laid out it was easy for me to determine the slight bias of the authors who are in the lifestyle and decide for myself what I thought of the topic.

For this reason, I consider it a must read. This book was an easy, straight-forward, non-graphic discussion of non-monogamous relationships. Any human sexual health interested person should check it out. I don't think it can be used as a manual for a polyamorous lifestyle, there's no 1-2-3 checklist, but it will get you started. Even if you decided to remain at your status quo, you will be able to pick up so good tips on how to go about living and loving.

In sum, I am not a practicer or believer of the polyamorous lifestyle as it is not for me, and by reading this book I was able to cement my decision and gain information beyond heresy about "ethical sluts." I encourage everyone to read through and think about the principles discussed. The information is good for anyone and everyone regardless of gender, age, or sexual persuasion.

As I say in the title, this is one of the best books I've read. It redefines the word "slut" and gives it a whole new meaning. The authors have both been living free lives for many years and have experience in the area. These women rock! They are two of the most free people (on that level at least) I know. This book can be very hepfull for couples who want to have an open relationship but are not sure on how to set rules to make everybody happy. It helps you define the boudaries of your couple and of your sexuality. It explains things like how we own our feelings and how to deal with them, but also things like how to reassure a partner who feels insecure if we go out on a date with somebody else, and so many other things. There is also a chart of do's and don't's of ethical sluttery and a (sarcastic) chart of things to do if you want to [mess] up your couple. There is even some advice that I consider as good for open couples than for straight couples. This book has changed my life, and I think everybody should read it!

I believe the book does an excellent job of persuading you that the lifestyle is not amoral. It does an excellent job of creating an atmosphere to discuss the possibility with your partner. However, I feel that it lacks somewhat on the execution. I don't expect a book to satisfy every possibilty that might exist in human relationships. It talks a lot about jealously, but neglects to mention the tremendous amount of growth one must do to accomplish this lifestyle successfully. I felt it lacked discussion of the proper requisites that would be required of a person. I do believe however, they say that experience will teach you best and that do not rely only on this book. For that I give them the foresight. I just believe the subject matter in written form is still very young and perhaps future incarnations will deal less with the advocacy of the lifestyle and more with the implementation.

A few years ago, a friend of mine commented "I've seen The Ethical .... break up more relationships than I can count anymore". At the time, I thought it was funny. Not long after, my wife bought a copy for my birthday. We'd been experimenting with threesomes some and it seemed to be working out in the short term. So she started encouraging us into further-ranging experimentation and thought the book would be a useful tool in figuring our way.

My primary impression of the book, and its authors, was that of a manifesto for justifying a very superficial and somewhat selfish mode of existence-- one in which sexual gratification outweighs other considerations. Yes, there is lip service paid to notions of "respect" but when push comes to shove, the book's central thesis is clear: If it gets in the way of your next orgasm, you probably don't want it in your life anymore. There was nothing about committed partners who occasionally want to share an experience; the assumption is that the reader is going to go off and screw new people when they want to. I thought it somewhat ominous, at the time, that the book was filled with anecdote after anecdote from people, mostly women, whose lives "only got started" after they jettisoned their spouse, their family, etc. and ran off into a world where anyone is fair game.

Six months later, I was ready to reign things back in and consider longer-term matters like starting our family-- and my wife, it turns out, was expecting to open the flood gates. And so, not long after, we were added to the pile of relationships that The Ethical .... has ended. Six years of marriage, done for. My now-ex-wife sounds just like the rest of the book's anecdotes. Better, at least, to have learned this now rather than ten years down the road, after we'd had children and built a complicated life together.

Is The Ethical .... about freedom? Absolutely. But the price you pay to walk through that gate is this: Accept and admit that feeding your genitals matters to you more than any one person ever will. And be ready to live the rest of your life that way.

I am a new Polyamoric, who now has a Primary Lover and will have other lovers who will also be my friends. I found The Ethical Slut to be a wonderful, non-judgmental book for Poly people and other sluts.

I did disagree with some of the things that the book mentioned, and found at times they had contradictions, like they don't like using the word "nonmonogamy", but used it anyway in their book; also, they talk about not being jealous but then say don't be overly enthusiasic while having sex with a lover if your Primary Lover can hear you (why shouldn't you be yourself?--your PL is being jealous!) but overall, it is a fabulous book to read and keep as a reference.

This book is a great guide for all who are considering changing their twosome to a threesome or other add-on to their primary sex relationship. The book covers all aspects from the health issues to the moralisitc ones. With the latest media craze for swinging , this book is a must read for all interested in exploring this type of lifestyle safely.

I found this book average. It contains a lot of good strategies for communication between partners, generally, not specifically about the topic of slutdom (I use the term slut in the same affirmative way as do the authors).

This book is not about polyamory, as stated by another reviewer. This book is about sex, and the lifestyle that provides for a very open sexuality....

That being said, the book offers some good communication tools, but spends on a lot of time describing barriers to this lifestyle , both contemporary and historic. For me, that wasn't of much interest.

The undercore of respect as an ethical slut, is a key one and to the credit of the authors underpins the book throughout. This key concept, important in all relationships, is even more important when attempting a lifestyle that flies in the face of most relationship taboos and norms.

Not a bad read, just not an amazing one for me, hence the ambivalent 3/5

and Easton and Liszt are fully aware of this fact. This book is very clearly laid out to allow you to slowly read and think about the idea of being poly or of having more than one sexual partner in a certain period of your life... The Ethical Slut gives great realistic advice on how to be ethical. I highly recommend that it be read out loud and with your partner(s) and that you go slowly, maybe a chapter a day, so you can discuss the issues and ideas in it. This book is not about converting but about healthfully doing what studies indicate many so-called monogamous people do by having multiple partners.

This book is probably the most concise book out about polyamory. While other books may concentrate on the "theory" or "best way" to do poly, this one is the most straighforward. Among the topics discussed? Well love and sex of course, but what is stressed here is that they are not necessarily one and the same, one may be an expression of the other but they CAN be completely separate. You can love someone else and make love to them without depriving your "primary" partner of the same feelings and actions. That jealousy is always lurking in the background, but that you can overcome it and that communication is key. And that's another topic discussed..as well as time constraints, respecting privacy and property of all your different partners, coming out to your kids about your relationship, "care and feeding of your sex toys," just to name a few.

If you're new to polyamory or even just learning about it, this book is a great place to start.