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Brilliantly bad critter flick
on February 2, 2004
"Mosquito" is the type of film that not only hits you over the head with its sheer badness; it continues to beat you after you have lost consciousness. The whole thing is an atrocity, a roaring, shrieking train wreck of a film that even the hardiest souls will have a tough time taking seriously. Everything fails on a metatectonic level with this movie: the acting, the plot, the pacing, most of the special effects, and everything else you have come to associate with a motion picture. "Mosquito" is such a miserable movie that you will draw flies if you don't quit gaping at the disaster unfolding onscreen. Have I made myself clear about the total ineptness of this movie yet? Good, because I now need to say watching "Mosquito" is a lot of fun for the lover of trash cinema. Why? Because the whole thing is an atrocity, a roaring, shrieking train wreck of a film that even the hardiest souls will have a tough time taking seriously. Because everything fails on a metatectonic level with this movie: the acting, the plot, the pacing, most of the special effects, and everything else you have come to associate with a motion picture. Because "Mosquito" is such a miserable movie that you will draw flies if you don't quit gaping at the disaster unfolding onscreen. And Gunnar Hansen plays one of the primary characters.
"Mosquito" begins with the crash landing of an extraterrestrial object from space. The craft splashes down in a swamp with disastrous results for the surrounding ecosystem. Well, at least it is for the mosquitoes since it seems only these nasty little buggers suffer any ill effects from the spaceship. The skeeters soon grow to frighteningly huge proportions although no one in the area knows about this impending disaster as of yet. We soon meet four disparate groups of people that we just know will wind up together in the end. There are two young folks--a man and his girlfriend--driving out to a local recreation area so the girl can assume her post as a park ranger. There is an idiotic, whiny male ranger at the park who may rank as one of the worst actors in cinematic history. How do we know he is an idiot? Because he sprays the park for mosquitoes without worrying about poisoning the campers. Somewhere down the road three militia guys with a bag full of money and a bad attitude have a nasty encounter with a giant mosquito in the forest. After suffering a casualty, the two survivors attempt to get out of the area at all costs. Finally, some guy checking out a report of a falling meteor in the area provides the scientific information we need to understand how giant mosquitoes could possibly exist--not really, of course, but he's there to do what he can.
The ravenous mosquitoes make quick work of any people they find out in the open with the exception of our gang of heroes, who soon come together to fight for their lives. They attempt to flee from the malevolent skeeters in an RV, attempt to run from them through a sewer drain, and attempt to escape by barricading themselves in an abandoned house. Predictably, the mosquitoes manage to thin the herd along the way, with a few of our stalwart souls collapsing under the onslaught of the winged hordes as the various methods adopted to deal with the rascals fail miserably. Victims of the mosquitoes tend to shrivel up at an alarming rate, probably due to the rather rapid blood loss accompanying a bite. The idea of falling prey to the mosquitoes is so bad that it requires Gunnar Hansen's character to ally himself with people he doesn't really trust, and to later heft a chainsaw in a futile attempt to rescue one of his imperiled companions. Strange events make for strange bedfellows, apparently. It is almost redundant to say that the conclusion involves a final confrontation with the mutated mosquitoes, one that requires personal sacrifice if our heroes are to save the world.
The flaws of "Mosquito" are as numerous as, say, a swarm of mosquitoes. All of the actors hired for the production uniformly tank in their respective roles, but John Reneaud as the thickheaded ranger Tony is arguably the worst actor in the world. He spends every scene complaining and whining about the situation, so much so that I fervently prayed he would fall victim to the mosquitoes in an especially gruesome fashion. Reneaud is the worst actor in a cast of painfully wooden thespians. Gunnar Hansen, for example, looks awfully stiff in his role as Earl, one of the militia guys with a secret. Put these terrible performances next to the cheesy effects, the gory attack sequences, the ham handed script, and you have a movie sure to alienate most of the viewing audience. "Mosquito" did not alienate me; I liked the movie overall and laughed repeatedly at the antics unfolding onscreen. This one has "so bad it is good" written all over it.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if the movie attained cult classic status. I do know it appears on basic cable from time to time, so apparently there is an audience out there for this type of garbage. The biggest questions I had as the final credits rolled concerned the alien spacecraft. Whatever happened to the ship? Moreover, why would the Air Force send out one guy with experience about meteorites to investigate what is probably the biggest event in the history of the human race? Doesn't the U.S.A.F. have fancy radar and satellite systems designed to detect foreign objects from space? As I wondered about these questions, I realized I was wasting my time. Don't question, just simply sit back and enjoy this immensely entertaining low budget junk heap.