Customer Reviews

5 000 000

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Amazing, simply amazing. When I first heard this 12 years ago I was instantly hooked. Big ol' gold belt, Do the claw, and especially Stir it up are downright hilarious. Even after all these years and playing this time after time, it's still funny. But even more amazing is the fact that this was ONE TIGHT BAND. Brilliant guitars, loud drums, and incredible production tells you these guys are a serious band. I may not win a lot of popularity contests for saying this, but, with the exception of "Nobody's Fault" I like their versions of the Zep songs better. Yeah, you read right. And their "Train kept a rollin" blows Aerosmith away. Just remember that everybody is entitled to their own opinion. LONG LIVE TORTELVIS

Robert Plant isn't one of them. He's a Dreadzep fan.

When listening to this CD, I remember seeing them on tour for this CD and how damn entertaining they were. All good comedy has to be rooted in truth or talent, and Dread Zeppelin shows both. There are some levels that are just above some people's heads (and they remark about the supposed sacrilegious nature of it all on this page). 5,000,000 is clever from the very beginning, and though is not a strong album throughout, has some brilliant moments and some great guitar playing.

The cover shows Charlie Haj-the man who gives Tortelvis his towels and water on stage-in a parody of Led Zeppelin IV's cover, except Charlie has pool sticks, a swimming pool net, and a paint roller on his back. And towels. The opening song samples the announcer from the original Hindenburg crash ("Oh the humanity"), which of course is on the cover of Led Zeppelin I. But you have to pay attention in school to know about it.

Close listens will reveal at the end of Stairway to Heaven, that Tortelvis has promised Fresh Cheese a solo performance, which he performs...on the xylophone. Their cover of Bob Marley's Stir It Up, perhaps the best song on the CD, features a hilarious drivethru order ("Spicy bean burgers. Do you make those here? Spicy bean burgers?") and ends with more Zeppelin inside humor. Because Stir It Up is really an Elvis take on food, the Zeppelin riff is from The Lemon Song. You have to know the Lemon Song riff to get the joke at the end ("While you're at it why don't you squeeze me some of those lemons and make me some lemonade. Ha, look, you got it all over your leg, Charlie").

So back to the show. I had a friend who was really uptight Zeppelin fan, and he sat at the back of the club while we were up front having a blast. He finally came up for the end of the show, where Dread Zeppelin did Stairway to Heaven. As Tortelvis makes his way up to the microphone in a pretentious way to start the song, Ed Zeppelin jumps in and starts singing the first verse. And the crowd went wild.

And then Carl Jah comes out for the amazing solo. It's much the same on the CD, some very fluid and fulfilling guitar playing, and my friend's skepticism washed away when Jah stopped the fun and foolery and just nailed Page's guitar solo, perhaps the most famous in the history of rock and roll. Surely people's humor is different. But the gist might be whether you really love Zeppelin for yourself, and not just what other people think of you, and whether you can really let go and have some fun.

Tortelvis and the Bad Boys of Fast Food Rock strike swift and deep! Not all of the production tricks from the first album are here. BUT DID YOU SEE THE PICTURE OF ALEISTER CROWLEY !! THe ULTIMATE PLAN!! IAO PAN!!