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Huh? I don't get it
on April 15, 2004
Sorry, but I am a cultural philistine. I simply don't understand Mozart. I have listened to this CD once the whole way through and none of it made sense at all, so I gave the disc to my grandfather. He listens to music by dead people like Mahler, Prokofiev, Shostakovich, Beethoven, Ravel and Bruckner, grown-up stuff that is too complicated for my atom-sized brain. I watch TV all day. The last book I read was 'The Da Vinci Code' by Dan Brown. I prefer watching TV to reading because TV is easier to enjoy. My IQ must seriously be quite low. Anyway, I digress.
The point is, I am clueless when it comes to classical music. How does one enjoy it? Just as I gasp with incomprehension at Shakespeare, Picasso and high-culture in general, I am left stupefied, bewildered and ultimately puzzled by this work. I have tried to listen to some of Mozart's other compositions, such as his string quartets and symphonies- my grandfather insists that I will enjoy them- but I have failed like an abject fool to glean any satisfaction. Why? Am I simply too intellectually facile? Do I watch too much MTV? Has the American diet of decadence and dumbing-down irrevocably destroyed every neuron in my brain capable of apprehending masterpieces that old men and women seem to savour?
I wish I could enjoy this CD, but it severely bored me. As each movement, each wave of tedium lapped against the impatient shore of my mind, Linkin' Park and other crews called my name. I am a child of the 21st-century and I apologise sincerely for the ignominious inanities of my hyperactive generation. We have the attention-spans of moths, the mental capacity of an oak tree. Yes, this is self-indulgent free association. I just felt like telling the world how forsaken I feel that an entire reservoir, nay, universe of purported masterpieces will forever evade my understanding and appreciation. And yes, I know, this review has been most unhelpful, but I can't help it: I am simply too dumb. Help.