Top critical review
Horrible, manufactured pop
on July 19, 2003
Why do people like her in the first place? "I think she's cool. And I love her style, it's so individual. She doesn't parade around in skimpy clothes like everyone else. Her success is based on the fact that she's a good musician, and that's admirable" - Heidi, 18 Whoa, wait! Let's break that down.
1. Avril DID NOT get her success based on her talent. She debuted on MTV. She sold her soul to the devil when she signed that record contract, just like she's selling out. Her band was "given" to her, she didn't meet them.
2. Avril DOES wear skimpy clothes. Quote from the loser-"My ass-crack showing is my trademark". She also walked around in a bikini. Quote the loser on Britney-"Who f*cking wears a bra down the street?" and "Britney Spears is such a hoe cake."
3. Avril CANNOT play the guitar, or any other instrument for that matter. She never plays the guitar live, with one exception, and she warned her fans that she "totally sucks!" Her publicity shots with her guitar show her holding it the wrong way, and strumming non-existent chords. Her Complicated video shows her playing ONE chord, a G-chord, which isn't even in the song. She also has publicity photos of her playing the drums... Heh, she was holding one drumstick UPSIDE DOWN and make a fist around the other. She can't even hold them.. Her cd doesn't list her for guitar credits at all.
4. Avril DID NOT start any trends. She rode on existing trends, capitalizing on their popularity. I am angry that anyone would laud Avril for "bringing back the tie on girls". Alternative girls across the country have been wearing ties since the early 90s. The SPICE GIRLS, were wearing ties before Avril. Get this, Avril has a STYLIST. In fact, she has many stylists, ready to scout out another trend, making a comeback. She is the client of Stephanie Wolf, who goes and gets the ties etc. FOR Avril.
5. Avril CAN NOT skate. She could skate her way out of a gaping hole in a half pipe. Quoth the loser -"I like wiping out and hurting myself and crying. And I like to show off my bruises. And, me and the guys just like to mess around on them, even though we all suck."
"Dude, I suck," is her typical response when asked about her shredding skills. "I mean, I like to skate, it's fun, but ... I like to do it in my free time. I don't want someone to shove a camera and a board in my face and be like, 'Here, let's see what everyone's talking about.' Because it's not like I'm a pro. I fall a lot, but I mean, everyone falls, you know." -- from mtv.com
6. Avril IS incredibly RUDE and IMMATURE. She makes horrible comments on other popstars. She thought it would be funny to run away and play hide and seek from a new bodyguard that was being assigned to her. She flicks everyone off. She doesn't want preppies to listen to her music, and refused to autograph things for people dressed like "preppies" at her concert. She was rude accepting her VMA award, but then got drunk off her ass afterwards. She was kicked out of hotels for disturbing the other people there. She thought she was funny, and um, witty. She stole a strawberry from a hotel cart. (how bad ass...) She was acting stupid in a bar (she's 17, 18?) with Sum 41, trashed it, and thought it was funny when they gave her a wedgie.
"The other night, I got into three fights," says Lavigne. "I was at a club and some girl was giving me attitude. When people are drinking, they get mouthy. She pushed me, and I got her down on the floor. Security came, and because I was on top, they threw me out." --from rollingstones.com
7. Avril's music SUCKS! She sounds like a country singer, for the first part. In fact, she was supposed to be marketed as one. Her favorite band is Hanson. Then she tries, um, RAPPING? Next thing we know there'll be Shanikwa Lablingbling. Are her lyrics DEEP? hmmm... "She was a girl, he was a boy" blah blah blah complete [*]! She's not the cheerios in somebody's spoon, how deep!!! In "Mobile" she complains about having to go on tour, and other crap. This was written before she even became famous, how the hell would SHE know?
8. Avril is a COMPLETE DUMBASS! But what do you expect from a high school dropout who spells boy with an "i"? She looks like one too, underneath those 2 tons of whorish eye make-up. In her interview with YM, she was going on and on about getting married and other stupid fantasies of hers. She talked about the "thing the guy has to lift off of the girl's face to kiss her"... She doesn't know that it's called a veil?! She got fired from some chicken place, nobody really gives a [*], but then she had to sing a SONG about it.
9. Avril's PAST is a lie. She is just like Vanilla Ice, making up things to make her more hardcore. In reality, she was raised to be a christian school girl. She was a cheerleader. She sang at fairs. She sang COUNTRY music at those fairs. She wanted to be like Martina McBride or Shania Twain. Quoth her former manager- "She didn't know Blink 182 from Madonna".
10. Avril will not be, nor has ever been a SKATER PUNK. She is not skater, she is no punk. The two things are different, distinct movements/styles/musical genres and she is neither. She couldn't name a Ramones song to save her life! Yes, she DID say she was punk. She's even bared her undies, that read "Punk Princess". She's worn pins with "Kiss me, I'm Punk" on them. She's lied and conived and contradicted herself. She has, above all, said that she was punk. End of story. I don't buy her [*], 3 months later, when she takes everything back. After the backlash, the shameless little [*] poseur says "Oh, I didn't mean it THAT way..." Bull.
"She is not a skateboarder; she is not a punk. She is not from the streets. She is from a middle-class family in Napanee. She is from a very safe neighbourhood," "Skater? No. Punk? No. They've sold her out. The expectations are now that shes this [*], whos smashing her gutair in a slick video. Thats as programmed as anything else, and it's such teeny-bopper-trying-to-be-cool stuff. She's not a punk. Shes probably more contrived then Britney Spears ever was. Avril has the potential to be real, but right now, shes a poseur." --Clint Fabri, Avril's former manager