on May 19, 2004
This is a movie that will live on in cult status for years only to be discovered by the masses decades from now. I'm pleased that this is the kind of humor that I find appealing and not the crapulence that makes up most mainstream "comedies." We all knew that this movie was funny as hell once we saw the wrench/hammer bit, but the moment the Machismo commercial was over I realized what a lucky (...) I was to be viewing this masterpiece. I can not convey the abject sense of loathing and contempt I feel towards the executives at Twentieth Century Fox for not having released this film on DVD. Do they have a pack of inept degenerates running the place? Perhaps their minds are as bent and twisted as their souls? Yes, that feels closer to the truth to me. I can see it now, a gang of roving sadists who delight in beating the retarded and telling people that if they vote it will somehow matter. Well well, we will see who gets their nipples twisted over this injustice my friends. We need an uprising, because we are all slowly being screwed and I don't feel a condom.
on June 18, 2003
In 1994 I was plagued by the realization that I had not answered the age-old question: "How many feminist does it take to screw in a light bulb?" I figured if anyone could help me out maybe the god of cinema could help me. Unfortunately, all of Buster Keaton's films are silent. Then one afternoon in my television broadcasting class, I stumbled across the answer. I discovered Alex Winter and Tom Stern's FREAKED. The answer to my question and many more were now answered.
Alex Winter (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure) plays Ricky Coogan, a Hollywood action comedy star, sent to Santa Flan (named for the Patron Saint of Creamy Deserts) South America to be the spokesperson for a "controversial new fertilizer called Zygrot-24." He and His Buddy Ernie (Michael Stoyanov, TV's "Blossom") go there to check it out. There they meet Julie (The Under-appreciated Megan Ward, PCU) an environmental protestor whose come to Santa Flan to "Pelt Ricky Coogan with Cow [Dung]." The three of them meet up with Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid, in one of the best performances of his life), proprietor of "Freek Land." And he turns them into freaks. Ricky, Ernie, and Julie join up with Skuggs' other Mutant creations, including a Bearded Lady (Mr. T, "Rocky III"), The Human Worm (Derek McGrath, Inherit the Wind), and Sockhead, the human Sock Puppet (Bobcat Goldthwait, Blow). Also, look and see if you can spot Keanu Reeves (The Matrix Reloaded), I won't even tell you who he is.
This is a great comedy. Sure the plot is paper thin, but like all great silly comedy's this one has real moxie (no, not the drink that tastes like tree bark). Jokes fly left and right and most if not all of them actually work. (Hey Rob Schnieder, watch this movie please!) I especially enjoyed the freaks Hollywood Squares, The origin of the freaky hammer, and finally another age-old question is answered, How many Milkmen can you have on one route? The answer is twelve, now thirteen that's just crazy.
Randy Quaid is incredible in this film. He embodies the villain with such force and style. He plays the character so straight; it's really great. Any lesser actor would have turned him into a cartoon. It's a shame his performance is so rarely seen. It's too bad the film got such lousy treatment from 20th Century Fox. (I say this and I mean it, so don't beat me up) His performance is Oscar caliber, I mean it, I'm convinced it one of the greatest comic performances of the 90's.
Alex Winter and Tom Stern (MTV's The Idiot Box) do a great job keeping the jokes coming. I also likes the small details, the quick jokes you don't even realize you looking at. For instances there is a tribute to Ray Harryhausen, in the appearcence of the Cyclops from THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD, followed by Gumby and Pokey well doing something they shouldn't be doing. I didn't realize this until I watched for the third or fourth time. Great Stuff!
But not only that. The film has some really great visual and make-up effects. Screaming Mad George (who made me sick with his hideous make-up effect in Society) ups the ante with his freak make-up. They all look amazing, especially Ricky Himself and Cowboy. Gene Warren JR's (Terminator 2: Judgement Day) visual Effects team also does a bang up job. This film was made at the end of the golden age of real-life visual effects, I doubt computers would have improved this film at all.
FREAKED also has one of the best musical soundtracks I've ever heard. It's also a shame that the album was never released, original music by Henry Rollins, George Clinton, The Butthole Surfers, and Blind Idiot God, make for a really great soundtrack.
This film was caught in an upheaval when 20th Century Fox named a new president. Fortunately the studio allowed it to be finished, but then the studio forgot about it, barely getting a theatrical release, and then being dumped out onto video. What a shame, The film has never been released on DVD or Laserdisc either.
Did I mention that it also contains some of the best cameo's from early 90's, late 80's B-List Celebrity's Brooke Shield's (After Sex), Morgan Fairchild (Teddy Bears' Picnic), Calvert Deforest (Late Night with David Letterman), and David Bowe (UHF) all make an apperance.
If you're looking for a great night, Grab all your friends together, brew a big pot of CAFÉ BUSTILLO, and watch this movie. FREAKED is grade A+ Cult Classic fun.
Now my statement to 20th Century Fox: GIVE THIS MOVIE THE DVD RELEASE IT DESERVES. Thank You.
on April 16, 2003
Sit this one in the row behind Citizen Kane and Casablanca, all you film [people], but don't deny it. This movie is a riot.
I don't normally care for gross-out humor, but there is an underlying absurdist wit to FREAKED which never fails to elicit belly laughs from me.
Basically former child star Ricky Coogan (played by Alex Winter) and his best pal (the son who was an ambulance driver on Blossom) go to boofoo wherever at the behest of an evil corporation called E.E.S. -Everything Except Shoes- (in spite of the pleading of Stewy, this weird little fanboy of Ricky's who really does resemble a troll) who wants him to endorse their latest product. They meet up with an activist minded gal and are promptly taken prisoner by evil sideshow barker Skuggs (Randy Quaid) who test the stuff on them, mutating Ricky into `Beast Boy' and merging the activist with Ricky's pal (the Blossom guy), who is a sexist pig.
The Funny is really unleashed when Skugg's other victims are introduced - a Man-Worm in desperate need of an...ahem...wiping, A bearded lady (played by Mr. T!), a dog-man (Keanu Reeves), a guy with a sock puppet for a head (Bobcat Goldthwait), Rosie The Eternal Flame (the guy who played the Dwarf in the Dungeons and Dragons movie - he runs around with a flame coming out of his [behind] for the whole picture here `Lights out baby!!!') a pinhead, and a wise Cowboy (part man part cow). Particularly hilarious are the scenes where each of the characters tells how they wound up there in flashback fashion - Mr. T's story is the funniest, followed closely by the spoon who was mutated into a fork (or was it a hammer into a screw driver? I forget).
Other high comedic moments:
The Rastafar-Eyes (`Eye `n Eye, mon...')
Skuggs in his 50's style rumpus room (`Styrofoam cup...')
`You're ugly enough to scare the pants off a dead nun' - followed by riotous laughter (from a nun) and general mayhem (machineguns, wrestling, a guy gets transfixed by an I LIKE IKE placard while Larry Bud Melman films it all with his super 8)
Brooke Shields growling with the voice of Randy Quaid `I'm going...to drink...your...blood!'
Well, the basic plot is beat E.E.S. and get back to normal by way of special macaroons, but in a movie like this, that's incidental. This is one of those flicks that's right up there with Airplane, Top Secret, and Brain Donors. If you like those movies, you'll probably find this pretty funny. If you don't, or if you've never heard of any of them, stay away. You'll hate this.
on May 21, 2000
This movie, from the makers of "Ren and Stimpy", is definitely worth watching for 2 reasons: it is absolutely hiliarious and you will NEVER see anything like this again in your life!
Freaked is so "freaky" you need a dictionary and thesaurus to describe it! Here goes: absurdity, grotesque, outlandish, eccentric, bizarre, ridiculous, strange, buffoonery, unique, jocose, off-the-wall, witty and wild- just to name a few!
Some other movies that are similiar to Freaked are: Beetlejuice, Weekend at Bernie's, Freeway, Claymation (TV specials), Alice in Wonderland, Star Wars, Naked Gun, and 3 Stooges (TV). But even compared to all of these it is still completely different!
This movie makes me want to throw a "freak" costume party with a great prize (so that everyone would dress up as "freaky" as possible. We might not all get arrested if it was on Halloween!); and then all go into restaurants eating and dancing, and just watch people scatter, scream, stare and laugh at us all! OK, I'm getting a little bit carried away, but that is THE POINT! LOOSEN UP AND GET FREAKY PEOPLE!
This movie speaks to me: it says, "Break the rules every once in awhile. Do something new and exciting! Don't let life mold you- shape and mold your own life the way YOU want it to be! GO FOR IT!"
Who is with me here!
on August 27, 2000
Written and directed by Alex ("Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure") Winter, this is a one-of-a-kind fantasy par excellence! Incredibly surreal creature effects (ala Big Daddy Ed Roth) by FX maestro Screaming Mad George are only one of the highlights of this over-the-top comedy in which fictitious (and sickeningly popular) child star Ricky Coogan (Winter) has been tapped to act as the celebrity spokesman for a multinational toxic chemical company. His best pal, Michael Stolchinoya (sp?) from TV's "Blossom" and more importantly "Mom & Dad Save The World," and Megan Ward, all wind up mutated by evil redneck carnival barker Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid), and join forces with the bizarre cast of other mutations created by Skuggs. Watch for an uncredited Keanu Reeves as Ortiz The Dog Boy.
on September 9, 1998
If you enjoyed "Airplane," "Top Secret", etc., then "Freaked" is for you. Combining twisted humor, great make-up and a very well disguised Keanu Reeves, Mr. Winter has come up with a small gem of a comedy. It may not be for all tastes, but for those who like their humor low-brow and sick, this if for you. The "Hollywood Squares" segment is particularly deranged. END
on January 27, 2004
Today at work I was thinking about this film and I started laughing out loud when I remembered the part about the wrench that was turned into a hammer. All the customers in my store looked at me like I was a freak. This movie never really got it's moment in the sun. If it had there would definetly allready be a dvd for it. Come on FOX!!!!!!!! Your killing me over here.
on December 2, 1998
The distributors of this movie didn't know what to do with it and so it went almost straight to video. I'm sure it would've bombed in the theatres anyway but it's a great video. Clearly this film was a labor of love, besides having some of the funniest (and stupidest) movie scenes ever. Plus it's the only Brooke Shields role I've ever liked.
on October 16, 2003
Please, Fox, release this on DVD. Even if it's a crappy Artisan release, I'll buy it (but at least anamorphic widescreen, if you have any decency). I've never asked you for anything before, and you owe me after all of your discs I've purchased (even a few of those crappy Artisan ones). So how about it, huh?
on December 12, 1999
I COULDN'T FIND THIS MOVIE AT ANY VIDEO STORES. I FINALY FOUND A PLACE ON THE NET WHERE I COULD ORDER IT, AND LET ME TEL YA, IT WAS GREAT. THE CHARACTERS WERE ORIGINAL, AND THE STORY WAS HILARIOUS. THIS IS WORTHY OF A SEQUEL, BUT IT SHOULD BE LONGER!
I PRAISE ALEX WINTER, TOM STERN, AND TIM BURNS!