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1.0étoiles sur 5 Bad!, Fév 4 2004
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
I saw Tarzan the Ape Man on HBO or Cinemax when I was a teenager and it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I'm not a prude and I have nothing against nudity in movies but there really should be more to a movie then nudity and there should be a plot!
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1.0étoiles sur 5 Where's Cheeta When You Need Him???, Oct. 2 2002
Par F. Gentile (Lake Worth, Florida, United States) - Voir tous mes commentaires
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
Bo Derek was the Edsel of film-making. While hubby/producer/Svengali, John Derek , was sure that the movie going public, and the world in general, was going to worship his latest puppet/goddess, the public decided otherwise. This movie is easily one of the worst ever filmed. There are bad movies that can still be unintentionally funny and entertaining, (See my review of "Valley Of The Dolls"), such as any campy "B" movie you might see on "Mystery Science Theater", but this filming of the Tarzan tale is just plainly, leadenly, drudgingly awful. Even if something is very beautiful, if you stare at it long enough, it becomes boring. In this flick, it only takes a few minutes to get past Bo Dereks catatonic beauty, until you're bored into a stupor. She may have improved her acting skills since the filming of this movie (she would have had to), and, in recent interviews, she seems to have matured into a nice, thoughtful lady. But back then, there was not a thespian bone in her lovely body, and though hubby John thought she could carry the film, it was not to be. The script is so awful, that there are a few unintentionally humorous lines. And, though there are times when covering ones teeth is appropriate, watching Bo trying to sensually eat a banana (one can almost see hubby-director John off to the side, getting all hot & bothered as he coaches her), it is only stupidly hysterical as she appears totally toothless during this scene. Luckily for the hunk who played the Ape Man himself, he has not a line of dialogue to distract from our Bo on screen, and apparently he had the sense to retreat into oblivion after this films release. Richard Harris probably just went for broke, and acts insane. Compared to this movie, watching any of the old Johnny Weissmueller versions is like watching Olivier. I guess this movie is worth a one time look, at the very least to film students, on how to avoid self-indulgence, cliches, and, boring an audience to death. Or, pop it in if you're having trouble sleeping...in minutes, you'll be snoring away!
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1.0étoiles sur 5 On a scale of 1 to 5 stars, this one deserves minus infinity, Déc 15 2000
Par Miles D. Moore (Alexandria, VA USA) - Voir tous mes commentaires
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
I've been going to movies for more than 40 years now, and this one is surely the worst I ever paid to see. A friend who lusted seriously after Bo Derek dragged me to see Tarzan, the Ape Man, for which I have never forgiven him. Bo is certainly a stunning woman, and after I saw 10, I thought she might be a promising actress too. But then I saw Tarzan the Ape Man, and was disabused of that notion forever. This film lacks any redeeming value whatever, except unintentional laughs. As Tarzan, Miles O'Keeffe may be a hunk, but that begs the question, "A hunk of what?" (I vote for granite.) But the ineptitude of Derek & O'Keeffe pales against the ridiculous scenery-chewing of Richard Harris, giving what must be the worst performance ever by a big-name actor. Harris' big moment comes when he says to Derek, "That...APE...that...BEAST...wants...YOOOUUUU!!!" As for Derek and O'Keeffe, THEIR big moment comes when they stand up to their necks in the water of a lagoon. O'Keeffe, who never speaks during the entire film, stares at Derek with the glazed look of a stuffed gorilla. Derek, eating a banana (YIKES!), says in her kewpie-doll voice, "I probably shouldn't tell you this (munch, munch), but I'm a virgin." If this sounds like your kind of movie, be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you.
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1.0étoiles sur 5 Easily one of the worst films ever made......., Fév 14 2000
Par Brooke Cale (Denver, CO USA) - Voir tous mes commentaires
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
Yet, it was utterly watchable and unintentionally hilarious. The acting (even Richard Harris) was bargain-basement bad, as was the choppy, confusing editing. And lest I forget, Bo Derek gives a truly appalling performance as Jane. Her hammy emoting has to be seen to be believed. And what about those slo-mo shots? I stopped counting after two dozen, and none of them had any dramatic purpose other than to prolong the agony. What can you say about a film where a chimp steals the show?
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1.0étoiles sur 5 all about jane ;, Aoû 25 1999
Par Un client
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
The movie is mostly about jane and her father and tarzan is more of an afterthought this movie is a waste of time unless you are a big bo derek fan
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1.0étoiles sur 5 Absolutely ghastly, Avril 24 1999
Par Un client
This review is from: Tarzan, the Ape Man (VHS Tape)
Had to watch it for Uni, couldn't believe how bad it was
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