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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "They drummed you right out of Hollywood.....
...so you come crawling back to Broadway"....
Just one of a myriad of oh-so-quotable lines from the classic VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, based on Jacqueline Susann's steamy pulp-fiction bestseller of 1966. The acting is pure cheese, the script is a paler, watered-down imitation of Susann's text and the songs are God-awful. But there is something about this little gem...
Published on May 11 2004 by Byron Kolln

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars It's Bad - Really Bad, But -
This was the epitome of 60's movies...bright colors, that " with
- it " music and really bad dialogue. To be fair, it was a bad book and a bad movie, but delicious to see, because it is so bad. it's one thing you know going in...it's horribly scripted and acted, but it's fun and horrific. " I am not making fun of drug abuse, but in this movie, you have...
Published on Sept. 1 2003 by D. Eichholz


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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "They drummed you right out of Hollywood....., May 11 2004
By 
Byron Kolln (the corner where Broadway meets Hollywood) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
...so you come crawling back to Broadway"....
Just one of a myriad of oh-so-quotable lines from the classic VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, based on Jacqueline Susann's steamy pulp-fiction bestseller of 1966. The acting is pure cheese, the script is a paler, watered-down imitation of Susann's text and the songs are God-awful. But there is something about this little gem that draws me in time after time. I could easily watch it once or twice a day and never get bored with it.
The story recounts three girls in New York: Anne Welles (Barbara Parkins - BEAR ISLAND), Neely O'Hara (Patty Duke - THE MIRACLE WORKER) and Jennifer North (Sharon Tate).
Anne has just arrived from small-town Lawrenceville, and landed a job as secretary in an entertainment law-firm. This leads Anne to the acquaintance of Neely, a young up-and-coming Broadway singer who's just been dumped from the new musical starring Helen Lawson (Susan Hayward - I WANT TO LIVE). The reason?...Neely would easily steal the show, and the only star of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson...!
Anne also meets Jennifer, a sweet but by her own admission, talentless showgirl/model. Anne's boss Lyon Burke (Paul Burke) arranges for Neely to sing on a charity telethon, and she quickly lands her own revue at a prominent nightclub. Jennifer marries handsome crooner Tony Polar (Tony Scotti) against the wishes of his sister/manager Miriam (Lee Grant - VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED). Anne then gets discovered by a cosmetics firm and becomes the glamorous 'Gillian Girl'.
The story moves to Hollywood where both Neely and Tony are turned into movie stars. Success comes too fast and easily for Neely who disappears into a heady world of dolls and alcohol. Tony is tragically struck down with a mysterious disease which leaves him paralysed in a sanitarium. To make ends meet, Jennifer becomes an adult-film star.
After going through two failed marriages, Neely hits bottom and is admitted into a rehab center, at Lyon and Anne's behest. With the offer of a new Broadway musical, Neely emerges and quickly finds her feet again, only to break Anne's heart when she claims Lyon for herself. Jennifer quits the porn business and discovers she has breast cancer.
At a party for Helen Lawson's new musical, which bombed out-of-town, Neely and Helen duke it out in the ladies' room, resulting in the famous wig-ripping scene, which is probably the greatest piece in the whole film.
Another great moment is Susan Hayward singing "I'll Plant My Own Tree" standing in the middle of a huge mobile, constructed of broken traffic-lights! Margaret Whiting provided Hayward's singing, though the role of Helen Lawson was originally earmarked for Judy Garland (and the song reeks of Garland influence).
VALLEY OF THE DOLLS is a campy little gem, one that has a HUUUGE and dedicated following. Patty Duke has never eaten so much scenery in any of her subsequent films, Sharon Tate is luminous and Barbara Parkins (aka the Living Mannequin) is just what is called for the role of Anne.
VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. A true classic. Accept no substitutes.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Valley Of The Dolls 1967, Dec 20 2013
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This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (DVD)
Hate the movie. However,Valley of the Dolls love the actress Sharon Tate <3 A very memorable performance. She makes the film worth watching time and time again.
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4.0 out of 5 stars title track, Oct. 31 2012
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This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (DVD)
I saw this movie long ago in the 70's when it was shown on British TV. Then, like now, I was into anything that had something to do with those halcyon 60's. And yes I agree with all the reviews that have gone before mine on how good and how bad the film is...but you just have to love it. What draws my interest more than anything is the title song by Dionne Warwick. I subsequently searched for the track on vinyl afterwards, but found that the one released commercially was different to that in the film score. The version in the film is slower, and more restrained than the single issued.
I will buy this DVD on the strength of the intro with the overhead view of the train headed toward New York and the close up of Barbara Parkins' face looking out of the window accompanied by that haunting arrangement sung by Ms Warwick.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Missed the mark, March 5 2011
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (DVD)
Unfortunately this film skims over all the critical parts of character development found in the book. It deviates in many ways and doesn't lend a very effective visual presentation of the book (which I loved). I thought with the glamour of the 60s injected into the story line it would be better than the reviews here but unfortunately the reviews are right on par. I kept watching this film out of sheer curiosity, I'm really glad I read the book first or I would have been turned off completely. And yes the acting IS terrible!
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2.0 out of 5 stars Read the book!, Dec 25 2009
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (DVD)
Loved the book, wasn't so fond of the movie. Interesting to compare and note the similarities/differences between the book and the movie, but not even close to being as good as the book. I hope they remake this movie (and do the novel justice) someday!
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5.0 out of 5 stars More Quoteable Quotes, May 25 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
I can't resist....More Quotes:
"Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag. And I'm the dame who can prove it."
"You're not the breadwinnah either."
"Tony! Tony! To-neeeeeeeee!"
"Miriam.....I'm pregnant."
"Sparkle Neely...Sparkle."
"She's the one who wanted the kiddies and the vine covered cottage."
"My beautiful little doll. Just one, and one more."
"We're closing now Miss O'Hara."
"Oh God you've got your costume on for the second act!"
"Lyon? He's in the shower. I'll have him call you back."
"I've done pills, booze and a funny farm. I don't need anybody or anything!"
"The song goes, and the kid with it"
"I know all about run-of-the-play contracts."
"Neely, just a few short years ago you were an unknown little girl singing for her supper. Now because of the lush, warm notes that have emerged from your throat, you have become the idol of record buyers and movie goers all over America."
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5.0 out of 5 stars I need more than 5 stars, May 25 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
Heck - the quotes alone will cover a page. See if you can add to this list:
"I wanted a marriage like mom and dad's, but not yet. First I want new experiences, new faces, new surroundings. Lawrenceville will be there foreveah."
"I remember the night I told them I was going to New York. They said it was a dreadful place for a vacation. I announced I was going to work there."
"George Washington didn't sleep there but he did dip a bucket of water from our well."
"I can still see them standing there waving. Aunt Amy, Mama and Willie. Poor Willie, he didn't know I was leaving his life forevah."
"Queenie's pregnant again. My Siamese. Drat! I hope its not that beat up black Tom."
"Black Siamese should be very pretty. I'm Anne Wells."
"Oh yes, the agency phoned about you. A BA in Radcliffe. Mr. Bellamy will like that. He will thin it will gives the office tone."
"Don't give her that I loved you when I was a little girl routine or she'll stab you in the back."
"Neely never had that hard core like me. She never learned to roll with the punches."
"Find yourself a wife. Have kids. Or one day you'll wind up alone like me. I wonder what the hell happened?"
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5.0 out of 5 stars Hello? Where's the DVD?!?!, March 12 2004
By 
Brandon L. Harlow (Colonial Heights, VA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
This film is too fabulous for words!!! Neely O'Hara owns this film! Her battles with Helen Lawson are the stuff of legends! Lots of booze and dope and those sweet little dolls. Red, blue, yellow..everyone has their favorite!
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1.0 out of 5 stars A legendary bad movie!, Jan. 11 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
I am giving "Valley of the Dolls" one star because that is what it deserves. It was a big budget, lavish, Hollywood production with two Oscar winners in prominent roles that completely failed at every facet of the art of filmmaking. It's only value is as a work of high camp. However, it was not made to be high camp, but to be a serious look at the pratfalls of fame and drug abuse for three fresh-faced young women. Don't get me wrong. I think "Valley of the Dolls" to be one of the funniest and goofiest movies ever made, but I only give 4-5 star reviews to funny movies that actually set out to be comedies. I don't reward unbelievably inept direction, inane dialogue, and god-awful, "has-to-be-seen-to-be-believed" acting with 4-5 stars.
One would have to write a book in order to fully catalogue this movie's deficiences in any detail. Therefore, I'll just mention the most infamous part of "Valley of the Dolls"- Patty Duke as the starlet from Hell, "Neely O'Hara." Her performance as "Neely O'Hara" ranks as one of the worst in the history of film. A performance so over-the-top and badly done it literally has to be seen to be believed- especially her flashback to life in the sanitorium! Before this movie was made, Patty Duke had carried one of the better sitcoms of the early 60's and had won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for "The Miracle Worker." She looked to be a real up and coming actress. Thus, it's sort of poignant to watch the fictional "Neely O'Hara" destroying her once promising career with "booze and dope" while at the same time watching the very real Patty Duke destroy her once promising career by playing "Neely O'Hara." Destroy her career she did and Ms. Duke is fully of aware of that fact- it took her over thirty years to even bring herself to watch "Valley of the Dolls" again.
Without any question, "Valley of the Dolls" ranks as one of the campiest movies of all time. Rivaled, but not surpassed, only by "Mommie Dearest." It's the bad movie lover's ultimate delight- a movie that set out to be a realistic and serious drama and went so badly awry that it ranks as one of Hollywood's most unintentionally hilarious films.
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5.0 out of 5 stars I'm reviewing the reviews..., Dec 28 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Valley of the Dolls (VHS Tape)
I haven't received my order yet but I've I've read all 105 reviews that are posted and I've laughed my fanny off! (Is "fanny" an acceptable word on Amazon or am I going to be censored?) I'm really concerned that the film (which I haven't seen in centuries and recall only dimly) won't live up to the "hype" that these reviews provide. Thank you to everybody who wrote reviews, especially those that clued me into Patty Duke's necklace gone awry. This really brightened a gloomy Sunday afternoon when OD'ing on a handful of "dolls" was looking really good.
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Valley of the Dolls
Valley of the Dolls by Mark Robson (DVD - 2006)
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