Customer Reviews

Valley of the Dolls

5 star:		(58)
4 star:		(22)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(13)

 

 

Unfortunately this film skims over all the critical parts of character development found in the book. It deviates in many ways and doesn't lend a very effective visual presentation of the book (which I loved). I thought with the glamour of the 60s injected into the story line it would be better than the reviews here but unfortunately the reviews are right on par. I kept watching this film out of sheer curiosity, I'm really glad I read the book first or I would have been turned off completely. And yes the acting IS terrible!

Loved the book, wasn't so fond of the movie. Interesting to compare and note the similarities/differences between the book and the movie, but not even close to being as good as the book. I hope they remake this movie (and do the novel justice) someday!

I can't resist....More Quotes:

"Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag. And I'm the dame who can prove it."

"You're not the breadwinnah either."

"Tony! Tony! To-neeeeeeeee!"

"Miriam.....I'm pregnant."

"Sparkle Neely...Sparkle."

"She's the one who wanted the kiddies and the vine covered cottage."

"My beautiful little doll. Just one, and one more."

"We're closing now Miss O'Hara."

"Oh God you've got your costume on for the second act!"

"Lyon? He's in the shower. I'll have him call you back."

"I've done pills, booze and a funny farm. I don't need anybody or anything!"

"The song goes, and the kid with it"

"I know all about run-of-the-play contracts."

"Neely, just a few short years ago you were an unknown little girl singing for her supper. Now because of the lush, warm notes that have emerged from your throat, you have become the idol of record buyers and movie goers all over America."

Heck - the quotes alone will cover a page. See if you can add to this list:

"I wanted a marriage like mom and dad's, but not yet. First I want new experiences, new faces, new surroundings. Lawrenceville will be there foreveah."

"I remember the night I told them I was going to New York. They said it was a dreadful place for a vacation. I announced I was going to work there."

"George Washington didn't sleep there but he did dip a bucket of water from our well."

"I can still see them standing there waving. Aunt Amy, Mama and Willie. Poor Willie, he didn't know I was leaving his life forevah."

"Queenie's pregnant again. My Siamese. Drat! I hope its not that beat up black Tom."

"Black Siamese should be very pretty. I'm Anne Wells."

"Oh yes, the agency phoned about you. A BA in Radcliffe. Mr. Bellamy will like that. He will thin it will gives the office tone."

"Don't give her that I loved you when I was a little girl routine or she'll stab you in the back."

"Neely never had that hard core like me. She never learned to roll with the punches."

"Find yourself a wife. Have kids. Or one day you'll wind up alone like me. I wonder what the hell happened?"

...so you come crawling back to Broadway"....

Just one of a myriad of oh-so-quotable lines from the classic VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, based on Jacqueline Susann's steamy pulp-fiction bestseller of 1966. The acting is pure cheese, the script is a paler, watered-down imitation of Susann's text and the songs are God-awful. But there is something about this little gem that draws me in time after time. I could easily watch it once or twice a day and never get bored with it.

The story recounts three girls in New York: Anne Welles (Barbara Parkins - BEAR ISLAND), Neely O'Hara (Patty Duke - THE MIRACLE WORKER) and Jennifer North (Sharon Tate).

Anne has just arrived from small-town Lawrenceville, and landed a job as secretary in an entertainment law-firm. This leads Anne to the acquaintance of Neely, a young up-and-coming Broadway singer who's just been dumped from the new musical starring Helen Lawson (Susan Hayward - I WANT TO LIVE). The reason?...Neely would easily steal the show, and the only star of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson...!

Anne also meets Jennifer, a sweet but by her own admission, talentless showgirl/model. Anne's boss Lyon Burke (Paul Burke) arranges for Neely to sing on a charity telethon, and she quickly lands her own revue at a prominent nightclub. Jennifer marries handsome crooner Tony Polar (Tony Scotti) against the wishes of his sister/manager Miriam (Lee Grant - VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED). Anne then gets discovered by a cosmetics firm and becomes the glamorous 'Gillian Girl'.

The story moves to Hollywood where both Neely and Tony are turned into movie stars. Success comes too fast and easily for Neely who disappears into a heady world of dolls and alcohol. Tony is tragically struck down with a mysterious disease which leaves him paralysed in a sanitarium. To make ends meet, Jennifer becomes an adult-film star.

After going through two failed marriages, Neely hits bottom and is admitted into a rehab center, at Lyon and Anne's behest. With the offer of a new Broadway musical, Neely emerges and quickly finds her feet again, only to break Anne's heart when she claims Lyon for herself. Jennifer quits the porn business and discovers she has breast cancer.

At a party for Helen Lawson's new musical, which bombed out-of-town, Neely and Helen duke it out in the ladies' room, resulting in the famous wig-ripping scene, which is probably the greatest piece in the whole film.

Another great moment is Susan Hayward singing "I'll Plant My Own Tree" standing in the middle of a huge mobile, constructed of broken traffic-lights! Margaret Whiting provided Hayward's singing, though the role of Helen Lawson was originally earmarked for Judy Garland (and the song reeks of Garland influence).

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS is a campy little gem, one that has a HUUUGE and dedicated following. Patty Duke has never eaten so much scenery in any of her subsequent films, Sharon Tate is luminous and Barbara Parkins (aka the Living Mannequin) is just what is called for the role of Anne.

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. A true classic. Accept no substitutes.

This film is too fabulous for words!!! Neely O'Hara owns this film! Her battles with Helen Lawson are the stuff of legends! Lots of booze and dope and those sweet little dolls. Red, blue, yellow..everyone has their favorite!

I am giving "Valley of the Dolls" one star because that is what it deserves. It was a big budget, lavish, Hollywood production with two Oscar winners in prominent roles that completely failed at every facet of the art of filmmaking. It's only value is as a work of high camp. However, it was not made to be high camp, but to be a serious look at the pratfalls of fame and drug abuse for three fresh-faced young women. Don't get me wrong. I think "Valley of the Dolls" to be one of the funniest and goofiest movies ever made, but I only give 4-5 star reviews to funny movies that actually set out to be comedies. I don't reward unbelievably inept direction, inane dialogue, and god-awful, "has-to-be-seen-to-be-believed" acting with 4-5 stars.

One would have to write a book in order to fully catalogue this movie's deficiences in any detail. Therefore, I'll just mention the most infamous part of "Valley of the Dolls"- Patty Duke as the starlet from Hell, "Neely O'Hara." Her performance as "Neely O'Hara" ranks as one of the worst in the history of film. A performance so over-the-top and badly done it literally has to be seen to be believed- especially her flashback to life in the sanitorium! Before this movie was made, Patty Duke had carried one of the better sitcoms of the early 60's and had won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for "The Miracle Worker." She looked to be a real up and coming actress. Thus, it's sort of poignant to watch the fictional "Neely O'Hara" destroying her once promising career with "booze and dope" while at the same time watching the very real Patty Duke destroy her once promising career by playing "Neely O'Hara." Destroy her career she did and Ms. Duke is fully of aware of that fact- it took her over thirty years to even bring herself to watch "Valley of the Dolls" again.

Without any question, "Valley of the Dolls" ranks as one of the campiest movies of all time. Rivaled, but not surpassed, only by "Mommie Dearest." It's the bad movie lover's ultimate delight- a movie that set out to be a realistic and serious drama and went so badly awry that it ranks as one of Hollywood's most unintentionally hilarious films.

I haven't received my order yet but I've I've read all 105 reviews that are posted and I've laughed my fanny off! (Is "fanny" an acceptable word on Amazon or am I going to be censored?) I'm really concerned that the film (which I haven't seen in centuries and recall only dimly) won't live up to the "hype" that these reviews provide. Thank you to everybody who wrote reviews, especially those that clued me into Patty Duke's necklace gone awry. This really brightened a gloomy Sunday afternoon when OD'ing on a handful of "dolls" was looking really good.

This movie is weirdly perfect. Everything about it - the photography, music, costumes, hairdos, make-up, script, acting, sets, and color - is beyond dreadful. An inutterably horrible movie, but also one which will never fail to entertain and amuse the truly discerning, or at least those of us with a healthy sense of Schadenfreude.
The book, of course, has not been violated: that it was ever anything but subliterate, jaw-droppingly horrible, and as common as kitty litter would never occur to my or any mind. The actors are given so little to work with that they shouldn't be faulted for giving performances of unbelievable badness, but dear little Patty Duke goes above and beyond the call of duty: her Neely O'Hara must rank as the funniest essay in sheer tastelessness in all of cinema.
Even she is exceeded by Susan Hayward, who exhibits not so much a lack of any discernible talent whatsoever - though that too - as an illiteracy of the soul.
If I had the pen and wit of Bernard Shaw I'd try to describe the "songs" and "music" - if one may use those terms for courtesy.
Enough said. If you're in a mood to laugh yourself silly over one of the worst, most tasteless exhibitions ever committed to celluloid - and at that an adaptation of a truly tacky piece of literary offal - do rent this. You may need a barf bag!

One of my favorite books: I just rented this movie (THANK GOD I didn't waste more money and BUY it!!) and I was soooo disappointed. All the hype - and for what? I don't get why this is being called "A cult classic"? Maybe for those who need to get a life... (Okay - so it was "first of it's kind" with some of the language and a couple of "scandalous" scenes). REALLY, REALLY (and I do mean REALLY!!) poor acting/poor songs/singing/ and didn't even follow the true storyline of the book! A sad waste of time!!! I'd give it half a star if it was available!