Customer Reviews

Jonah Hex (Widescreen Bilingual Edition)

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This is a western based on the DC Comics character of the same name. I don't tell you what happens but there is a bit of a spoiler alert. Its a pretty classical 2 dimensional plotline, but it delivers on the action and we get to see the VERY hot Megan Fox at her finest. One always wonders why he doesn't just cut that strip of skin so he can open his mouth properly. But, Hey, its all part of that rugged aura;-) Turnbull, Hex's commander in the Confederate Army begins to target innocents. After Hex stands up to him Turnbull kills Hex's wife and family, planting the seed for the bitter rivalry that makes our show. The MAJOR drawback in this movie is the redonkulous orange balls that can create an 'atom bomb' like super weapon that our heroes have to stop. This magical super weapon in an otherwise traditional 19th century western setting makes the movie a little bit silly. A bit like a comic book I guess. But, again, most of the action is good...Did I mention that Megan Fox is hot... Overall its worth seeing.

I like steampunk. I like Weird West. I like comic book adaptations. I like movies that bust out of the usual genre cliches.

But it's not an unconditional love -- the loathing I have for "Jonah Hex" proves it. This movie is a bit like the evil love child of "Wild Wild West" and "Van Helsing," with all the bloodcurdling stupidity of the former and the flashy steampunky trappings of the latter. Josh Brolin does his best to salvage this messy undercooked stew of cliches, but honestly... there's no saving this movie.

Jonah Hex (Brolin) was a Confederate soldier who turned against his commander Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), and Turnbull got his revenge by killing Hex's family, scarring his face and leaving him for dead on a cross. Of course he doesn't die, but becomes a bounty hunter who can communicate with the dead just by touching them. All this is crammed in the first three minutes.

Then the president recruits him to hunt down Turnbull, who is building "the weapon" that could destroy the entire United States. So he meanders off and brawls with some people, gets some crossbow-guns (what?), and rushes to rescue his favorite hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold (is there any other kind in movies?).

I wish I could give a better summary of the plot in "Jonah Hex," but that's kind of like examining the acting talent displayed by Megan Fox -- it's so minimal that you'll just sprain your brain if you try to actually talk about it. Jonah is traumatized, he shoots people, he gets drafted, he shoots people, he goes searching for Turnbull, he shoots people, and so on and so forth.

Basically there's not much plot here, so the writers pad it with as many fiery explosions, gunfights and hallucinatory flashbacks as they possibly can. The dialogue is leaden ("Ain't mah country. Git lost or git dead"), and all the dramatic twists are painfully predictable. As for "the weapon," it is quite possibly the silliest superweapon I have EVER seen in a movie, short of a giant slingshot. THIS is supposed to be able to bring down a budding superpower?

I'll give Brolin credit, he does what he can, and he slurs and grinds around his fake facial deformity with convincing grittiness. The problem is, his character's backstory is so hastily slapped together that it's hard to care -- I mean, it's sad that his family died, but we barely even SAW them and don't see much of how he felt. Megan Fox is all flat drawling and vacuous stares, but fortunately she only has a few scenes. During the more dramatic moments you can almost see smoke coming out of her ears.

"Jonah Hex" is all wasted potential -- it has pretty much no plot, not much decent acting, and an ending worthy of "Mystery Science Theater 3000." Give it a pass.

Bought this from an amazon.ca recommendation. Absolute waste of money. Couldn't even finish watching this movie, it was so bad. Don't waste your money.

from everything i'd heard about this movie from friends and the media,i expected it to be a bomb.turns out it wasn't.it was actually pretty decent if a bit too short at seventy three minutes without the end credits.it could have been more substantial.in other words longer,and it would have been nice to know a bit more about the characters.but the movie is fast paced and entertaining.Josh Brolin is good as the title character,and Megan Fox is OK in a small role.John Malkovich's character could have been more fleshed out.really the whole movie could have been fleshed out and lengthened.still,for what it was,i liked it.for me,Jonah Hex is a 3/5

Well, I liked Jonah Hex, but I'm a sucker for comic book hero movies, and I have a fairly open mind about them. Even being a sucker for these type of movies though,I can't give this thing any more than three stars, and for anyone who is a bit more judgmental, this is really a fairly ridiculous movie.

Ignoring Megan Fox completely, here are the problems:
a) The movie is mostly told in snippets. Here's one scene, here's another one, here's a scene somewhere else, let's jump over here and do another scene..., and all these scenes are quick (like two to four minutes long), as though the director didn't trust that he could actually keep our attention very long.

b) As one other reviewer said, the orange balls of A Bomb explosive power are ridiculous. This is bordering on what made Will Smith's "Wild Wild West" so terrible several years ago - if you're telling a story set in the civil war, please limit yourself to technology available during the civil war. Not blast us with a completely over-the-top "Ultra Weapon" designed simply to wow a 21st century audience.

c) This is not the Jonah Hex of the comics. Jonah Hex did not have twin gattling guns mounted onto his horse (how the hell could a horse even carry that much weight!!! That was so silly!). He didn't have supernatural powers that allowed him to talk to the dead, and he was much more morose and simple than the Hex in this movie. I mean come on, Hex having his own weapons manufacturer who sells him pistols that shoot some kind of bazooka darts? Get real!

d) The story was too much for a Jonah Hex story. Most Jonah Hex stories were something like the old Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns. There's a bad dude somewhere, you have to shoot down a couple of his associates first to get to him, and then you have a gunfight with the bad guy. This movie's portrayal of Turnbull as a major domestic terrorist with an ultra weapon at his disposal with which he can destroy an entire country is more something for an Iron Man movie, not a Jonah Hex movie.

Anyway - three out of five stars, and even that is being a little bit generous.

I've never read the comix, and can only judge the movie on it's own. Ignoring all the fashionable "Megan Fox is So hot... but won't do me" or "Can't act" hate going on... she's no better or worse then a million Hollywood chicks... The movie is actually a fun ride. Sure they don't explain Jonah's powers much, but that's much cooler then some techno-babel answer or something silly like midi-chlorians in the recent Star Wars films. Jonah Hex is an interesting character and I'd like to see more of him.