on December 15, 2000
It's no wonder people who care for rights of criminals more than the rights of victims hate this movie. Imagine that - here's a cop who not only says openly what he thinks of criminals and "civilized judges" but even puts his words into action. The "human rights" (criminal rights, that is) people called this movie "fascist" (it's their favorite epiteth for anything that's not compatible with their way of "thinking"). Don't listen to that babble - the same people hate "Dirty Harry" and don't bash it only because it's a classic that they, being cowards, don't dare attack. "Cobra" isn't a classic yet (hopefully it will be), so it's a great object for an attack.
I'm not sure about USA these days, but boy, my country could sure use a few Cobras! Buy the movie, buy "Dirty Harry" and don't forget Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" (not the dreadful film by Verhoeven) for a grim - though, admittedly, in "Cobra's" case, often too simplistic and too direct - comment on today's world... One more thing - "Cobra" has a superb soundtrack! A true fantastic voyage to the 1980s... I normally prefer orchestral scores, but Cobra's soundtrack, consisting mostly of songs (and the excellent orchestral opening theme) is one of few so great compilations of such music. Don't forget to get the soundtrack in addition to the DVD!
on January 22, 2001
Like most of Stallone's action movies, "Cobra" is an exciting, action packed movie. Sylvester Stallone stars as Cobra, a cop who is well known for tracking down and killing psychopathic killers who are on the loose killing innocent people. While tracking down these serial killers, Cobra is also protecting a woman (Brigitte Nielsen) from danger by carrying her with him.
"Cobra" might not be one of the Stallone movies that you hear a lot about such as "Rambo" or "Rocky," but that doesn't mean that i's not a great movie. "Cobra" is full of spectacular driving, fighting, and shooting action sequences while Cobra does his action packed job by showing the criminals that Cobra is as deadly as a cobra.
I recommend anybody who likes action movies with tons of exciting action sequences to get "Cobra." It might not get the credit for it, but "Cobra" is one of Sylvester Stallone's best action movies.
on December 7, 2001
This film is great! (...) This was like one of the first of Stallone films that I had watched after the Rocky series. Maybe it's a little cheesey, but it's how all movies were made in the 80's. I like the beginning where Stallone comes in to the supermarket. Some dark scenes in the film. Substantial amount of violence, good film. It actually has a good story to it, yep another cop story against the bad guys. Fair Game.
on June 16, 2004
When people watch the recent "action" movies that have been released in theaters, they definitely are not getting what film-goers got out of action movies in the 80's. What makes action movies, "Action Movies", is the obvious lack of story, poor acting, and endless amounts of cheese. Cobra has it all...and much, much more! From the group of psychos that are bent on creating "The Way of the New World" to Marion Cobretti, Stallone, and his Zombie Squad, Cobra never lets you forget that it is a terrible movie, which means it is awesome. The Zombie Squad is supposed to be the misfit cops who do the jobs the "real" cops won't do. Stallone heads this rag tag crew, which involves only Poppy from Seinfeld fame, against the dirtiest man alive, who leads...the group of men and women who kill hot chicks. Are you following me? No? Good. Some highlights, the soundtrack...trust me, pure cheese, and the give and take between Cobretti and the Lieutenant who disagrees with Cobra's methods, riveting stuff. The fight at the end between Cobretti and the whole Attractive-Girl Slaughtering Gang deserves an award. I am not sure what award, maybe a bucket of KFC? Any way, this movie is atrocious...so buy it to annoy your friends or your girlfriend.
on May 15, 2004
This is a classic Sylvester Stallone action movie. It's one of the best he ever made. Cobra was mostly known for the number of people killed during the movie. It far exceeded any previous record for an action movie...bordering on the comical. Some of the things you'll remember... The match he keeps in his mouth. His awesome gun. His Mercury which is painfully destroyed during the movie. And the most memorable moment is when he meets up with "Night Slasher" (Brian Thompson) at the end and gets an earful about the judicial system. "They'll say I'm insane. Won't they...PIG!?" If ever there was a classic piece of film it's this encounter. Me and my friends still joke today about how spittle and sweat comes from his mouth when he says, "PIG!". It's hilarious. That alone is worth owning this movie. In all, it's typical of 80's action films. Sylvester's films always seem to have a fair amount of cheese in them. It's a given. At the same time tho, they don't make films like this anymore. The days of the action hero seem over, but they can be relived with movies like Cobra.
on February 16, 2004
Anyone who grew up in the 80s saw this film, you had no choice. I remember seeing it at the drive-in on a double bill with Road House. This is a fun Cannon/Stallone collaboration. Yeah, it's oozing with cheese and cliched as can be, but it wouldn't be half as fun if it weren't. Stallone's in tough guy mode again(it seems like he never set off to be an action hero, but ended up one), this time around as a Dirty Harry-esque cop, who's naturally hated by the force and considered a "loose cannon". He's out to stop a wacky death cult and protect their next victim at the same time. Not to mention romancing her. The cult's motivations are never totally explained, they just go around slaughtering women. Brian Thompson is scary looking and menacing as the cult leader with that cool knife we all remember. We get a big showdown at the end where Stallone really gets into Stallone mode. He takes on the whole cult(who REALLY must want to kill this woman considering they all come out of hiding to get her) Rambo style. I must say that Cobra is one sadistic mother-most of the cult members he likes to set on fire in various ways! Try watching it again and relive the cheesy fun. If you haven't seen it(shame on you), you must, must, must!!
on February 2, 2004
It seems Sylvester Stallone admired Clint Eastwood, & attempted to create a memorable character like Dirty Harry, not to say that the character is bad, the story could have used a re-write, In this Stallone is Marion Cobretti, a police enforcer who acts more like a negotiator when the police can't get the bad guy, the opening moments are real as a crazed gunman enters a store & starts balzing away, taking hostages along the way & demanding t.v. airtime to chant his cause, Cobretti's arrival is comical at best as he infiltrates the gunman's movement in the store, & taunts him with one-liners like>> "I don't lousy shots", or "go ahead, I don't shop here" when the gunman threatens to blow up the store, he disarms the gunman & is cool is every aspect, but as the film moves forward, it loses its appeal, it seems that this movie is really about the night-slasher, the imfamous killer who ran amock in Los Angeles in 1985 until he was caught later that year, right about the time this film was starting to get made, as Stallone tries to infiltrate their next move, & is assigned to protect a potential witness(Brigette Neilsen, Stallone's then wife) who may know the killer's identity & who tries many unsuccessful attempts to finish her, which plays out more like a slasher movie, Stallone has said he wishes now he would have done it differnetly, & one can agree, this one has way too many Rambo-like shoot-ups that fail miserably, & could have been much better, Dirty Harry it is not!!!!!!
on August 5, 2002
If you tried to be serious, Cobra would not be considered a good film. But if you want to talk about the movies you grew up with, the 80s cheese, the movies where the bad guy was just so evil you knew he was gonna get it but good?
That's where Rambo director George P. Cosmatos comes in and delivers Cobra. Stallone mumbles a lot and chews on a match like toothpick. He drives an incredible classic souped-up Mercedes (with nitrous boosts) and brandishes a submachine gun. When normal cops can't get it done, the Captain calls in the Cobra.
Do I need to talk about the story? Well, okay. Remember the punk from the opening of The Terminator--the guys who gets Arnie's fist put through him? He's the head of some evil cult here. You never find out what they're about, but they just like killing people sadistically with axes and knives, etc. They're just really evil, bad people.
Anyway, Stallone gets on the case, and dozens of corpses later he faces off with The Night Stalker, or Slasher, and...well, I'll let you find out.
This DVD actually has some decent extras. I'm impressed. Tailor-made for the dedicated violent 80s movie fan, including commentary from the director(!) AND a documentary.
You either know you're gonna love Cobra or hate it just by looking at the box cover art. So there you go.
on February 14, 2002
How do you even go about reviewing this movie? Well, let's see. First of all, the 3 stars are for nostalgic reasons and a tip of the hat to whoever choreographed the gunbattles. And come on, Cobra is too easy to steamroll. What could anyone get out of seriously critiquing this? It's just a laugher, something you just blow off.
1. There is no plot. No story. Nothing happens. All you need to do is look at the screen while people are shooting (to catch all the stunts) and then go back to doing whatever it was you were doing until they start shooting again.
2. The shootouts get increasingly preposterous as the movie progresses (or digresses). It culminates with Stallone standing in the back of a pickup truck mowing down an army of guys on bikes who are following him. It's basically a comic book put to film in many regards. I challenge anyone to produce a count of how many times you see a guy in a mask go flying and his bike either skidding across the ground or flipping end over end.
3. The movie could have been made without dialogue, literally. The only point to having people talk is that it gets to lampoon basically everything from tough guys to whatever you want to imagine as the liberal media. Add "You're the disease, I'm the cure" to the all-time list of footnoted '80s action droplines. It's in the top 100 I'm sure.
4. All of the bad guys are what would amount to professional wrestling rejects. From the opening scene with the dude walking into the super market, you know this movie is "one of those kind." He proceeds to pull out a shotgun and blast into a bin of melons, he blasts into pop cans, a shopping cart (which blows up), and everyone is running about screaming. One of the cops outside looks at the other one and says, "Call the Cobra." And with a straight face too! Meanwhile, the psycho is still inside the super market blasting soup cans and pop machines, and yelling something about a New Order/World. He finally manages to shoot somebody after he's emptied more shots than he could carry. Stallone walks in the back door, walks through the place, finds him, and blows him away.
Yep, that's the gist of things. And that will about do it for Cobra as well. What ya see's what ya get.
on January 1, 2002
I'd have to humbly say the only advantage to enjoying this movie is being a twelve year old seeing it for the first time. But that would be a twelve year old of 1986 actually experiencing it in the movies. Of which the twelve year olds today would probably need a lot more "eye-candy" to keep them amused. But boy, is this movie rib-crushingly hilarious to the grown up of right now.
Catch me back in '86,'87 as a kid watching this movie with my jaws agape and you'd never believe I'd have grown up to laugh so hard at every TNT "Movies For Guys. . ." showing. This is such a fun "Dude" movie. It's so ridiculous and ubelievable - not to mention 80's cheese - you can't help but watch it every time it's on.
But you have to give Sly just a wee bit of credit. Pulling off that "Ode to Eastwood" thing was probably such a novel idea at the pitch meeting, it truly is a shame we never saw more of the omnipotent, invincible and insatiably charming Marion Cobretti again.
But anyway. . .so what it's dumb. So what it lacks the believability of Rambo III. And so what if you need plot, character development, consistency and story! This is definitely the movie for you if you think wrestling is real.
And two stars? Hey, man. . .I had to give it something. One star just wouldn't be fair for the accountability of nostalgia.
Godfather? Definitely not. But hey, neither was The Toxic Avenger. And I dare you to find a living soul that's actually seen The Toxic Avenger and not LOVED it!
So there it is. Two stars for the timeless COBRA. One 'cause it needed one for the review and the other 'cause I was twelve.