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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Crap? I like crap!"
Where to begin with Things... I first heard of this movie through humour/review/sketch group Red Letter Media. For whatever reason, I was extremely interested in the awful acting, obtuse dialogue, low-budget filming... Everything was wrong. It was a train wreck. Being the hick I am, I dropped everything and immediately sought out a copy of this disaster.

Life...
Published 23 months ago by Herpin' The Derpin'

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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars UMMMMMM??
What is going on here? One second I think I'm watching a movie about some horrible demon like ants killing people in a remote cottage, then suddenly things switch up and it's a movie about two brothers behaving like jerks to each other. Wait a second, now I'm watchign a movie about soem evil doctor with some evil plan to do something evil (I know it's an evil plan because...
Published on Aug. 15 2011 by S. Hingst


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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Crap? I like crap!", Aug. 21 2012
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This review is from: Things (DVD)
Where to begin with Things... I first heard of this movie through humour/review/sketch group Red Letter Media. For whatever reason, I was extremely interested in the awful acting, obtuse dialogue, low-budget filming... Everything was wrong. It was a train wreck. Being the hick I am, I dropped everything and immediately sought out a copy of this disaster.

Life has never been the same.

Don't go into Things expecting a conventional horror movie, an intentional mockery of the genre, or even coherent pacing. This, friends, is the poster boy for bad movies, but in all the right ways. The acting is terrible, the lighting and staging are all wrong, the editing makes no sense, the effects nearly border on competent... And it appears that all the dialogue is dubbed into the film - and badly, at that. You'll frequently get lines delivered - sarcastically - that do not match the tone of the scene or the look on the actor's face. It's amazing! It's a weird thing though: At times, this movie feels legitimately creepy and foreboding. Then you'll get interrupting with a line like, "Look at all the blooooood!" delivered with the enthusiasm of a Wal-Mart cashier. It's truly a treat to behold.

Be wary though: This is a movie to be watched with friends. I watched this with my fiance towards the end of a crappy day, and with all the laughter we had during this thing, we went to bed giggling and awkwardly quoting lines. It's truly magic like that. :>
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5.0 out of 5 stars "The blood is dripping like maple syrup!", June 12 2013
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This review is from: Things (DVD)
I just experienced Things after getting it in the mail the other day. Wow...what did I even just watch? lol
Think of the cheesiest wackiest most lo fi Canadian horror flick that you can possibly imagine, and now realize that Things is beyond that. It's beyond cheesy. It's a putrid pile of ghastly beer-chugging mayhem! This is one of those love it or hate it films. If you love low budget B horror flicks like I do, you just might enjoy this.

Things is about some guys hanging out drinking beer and battling some randomly appearing spider-like creatures. As it says on the back of the dvd, "In 1989, it became the first Canadian shot-on-Super 8 gore shocker made for the VHS market." The guys behind this movie are from Ontario Canada. A lot of the dialogue reminded me of the also Canadian, FUBAR mockumentaries as well as The Trailer Park Boys. This disc has some solid extra features on it. They've included testimonials on Things from directors such as Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and Jason Eisener & Rob Cotterill (Hobo with a Shotgun) as well as lots of audio commentary, Things 20th anniversary cast and crew reunion, behind the scenes with Amber Lynn, vintage Barry J. Gillis TV appearances, original trailers and outtakes. I loved the interviews with Tobe Hooper and Jason Eisener & Rob Cotterill in particular. I loved how Barry J. Gillis kept reassuring Tobe Hooper that Things has a cult status. Barry: "We're hoping that you would have a few drinks before you watch it, cuz a lot of people have a couple drinks, I'm not sure if you drink or not?" Tobe Hooper replies: "uh..actually I don't." Barry: "It's good to have a couple drinks before you watch it." The 20th anniversary reunion with the cast and crew features some rum-soaked reminiscing and partying. It was fun to see the old TV appearances. Mullets and thick Canadian accents! The behind the scenes with Amber Lynn was funny. "We're pretty good judges of the best!" Great bonus features.

This movie is inspiring for young aspiring movie makers everywhere. I would definitely recommend it to Troma fans and lovers of extremely corny low budget splatterfests. Did you love how bad Troll 2 was? Then check out Things. It's spontaneous, it's combustive, it's out there, it's beyond bad, it's Things.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars UMMMMMM??, Aug. 15 2011
By 
S. Hingst "Jack of all Traits" (Sudbury, Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Things (DVD)
What is going on here? One second I think I'm watching a movie about some horrible demon like ants killing people in a remote cottage, then suddenly things switch up and it's a movie about two brothers behaving like jerks to each other. Wait a second, now I'm watchign a movie about soem evil doctor with some evil plan to do something evil (I know it's an evil plan because of his evil laugh). Scratch that, now it's a movie about a news anchor who seems to have gotten the shaft and must work out of a TV repair shop.

After watching it, the scenes play over and over in my head and I find myself needing to listen to the commentary just to figure out what the heck is going on.

Things is not a movie....it's a expierence....Good, Bad or simply confusing...an expierence none the less....

After this expierence, don't be surprised if you get the urge to dump whiskey on your best friend's head..... Don't say I didn't warn you.
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Things
Things (DVD - 2011)
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