2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on March 12, 2012
As a fan of the Twilight series and the movies, I was extremely disappointed with Breaking Dawn - Part 1. Having now seen Part 1, I don't think there was any reason to split the last book into two movies. This movie just seemed to drag on in order to fill the two hours. I also had trouble starting the movie using the "Play" button. I was only able to start the movie using the scene selection. At one point, I also tried putting on the subtitles and instead of getting actual subtitles I seemed to get a running commentary, which I found extremely annoying. I am still looking forward to Part 2 of Breaking Dawn, but I found this one to be quite boring.
10 of 27 people found the following review helpful
Ever since I read the epic disaster that was "Breaking Dawn," I have been eagerly anticipating the movie adaptation. That book was one of the vilest, silliest, most disgusting books I've ever read in my life, and I assumed that the movie would at least be funny. I mean, there's a scene where Edward chews open Bella's uterus!
Well, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I" managed to disappoint me. While there are some jaw-droppingly stupid moments, most of the movie is simply droningly dull -- there's more padding than actual story here, riddled with painfully awkward acting, monotonous sex scenes, and lots of important topics (like abortion) that the writers aren't NEARLY smart enough to address.
Bella (Kristen Stewart, who seems horrified at even having to FAKE sex with a man) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are finally getting married... and we get to see every single step of it. Everything. We see hairstyling, shoes, invitations, furniture arrangement, awkward toasts and the newlyweds making out at the altar (classy!). Oh, and Jacob (Taylor Lautner) freaks out when he discovers that Bella plans to actually (gasp!) have sex with Edward on their honeymoon.
So they finally have melodramatic sex... only for Bella to get lightly bruised, which upsets Edward so much that he refuses to have sex with Bella again... for about a day.
But then, Bella unexpectedly gets pregnant (wow, sex leads to pregnancy! WHAT A TWIST!). Excepting Rosalie, the Cullens all want her to abort the baby, but Bella refuses to do so even though it's killing her. This threatens to spark off another battle between the werewolves and vampires, because Bella is the center of the universe.
The worst thing about this dreadful movie is that they broke the ludicrous "Breaking Dawn" story into two separate movies. This works when you have an epic story ("The Hobbit") or a plot-heavy one ("Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"). But for a tween-porn romance about how special Bella is for having a functioning uterus, it's the kiss of death.
So to fill out all the space NOT occupied by plot or characterization, the movie is crammed with padding. Lots of padding. Endless padding. We're forced to watch Bella shaving her legs, lounging around the house, and listening to hideously unfunny wedding toasts (except for Charlie's). Even the SEX feels like it has been padded -- I spent most of the PG-13 sex scenes wondering if Bella would ever change expression during sex (and no, she didn't).
But the movie REALLY jumps the rails when Bella gets knocked up with her demonspawn. Suddenly we're assaulted with hellish birth scenes, sexual fantasies about a newborn baby, and ghastly CGI wolves. And whenever those CGI wolves are onscreen, the mood jumps from "stoned" to "hilariously hammy" ("I AM THE GRANDSON OF THE CHIEF!").
Oh yes, and there are massive plot holes that render most of the plot pointless. For instance, the Cullens whine at Bella to have an abortion or she'll die. At that point, she appears to be at least 8 months along. WHY DOESN'T CARLISLE GIVE HER A C-SECTION?
The acting is pretty much what you would expect. Kristen Stewart's Bella is her usual self -- graceless, mumbly, whiny, plain as yogurt. She spends most of the movie either LITERALLY begging Edward for sex or cuddling up next to Jacob. And Edward shows just how abusive and obnoxious he can be, INFORMING Bella that she's going to get an abortion and emotionally blackmailing her when she won't.
As for Jacob... well, kiss any likable qualities in this character goodbye. After ranting about the evils of imprinting, he becomes a brainwashed pedophile engaged to a baby. And everyone is okay with this.
I at least expected "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I" to be horrible in a MST3K way, but sadly it just ends up a slow, dull grind riddled with gaping plot holes. Expect Part II to be doubly bad.