1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 212 Paperback – Feb 1 2004
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Top Customer Reviews
It has improved my relationships with my children and I have passed along the knowledge to many others.
Your kids will appreciate it too, even if not at the moment when you use it.
Usually parents get caught in the trap of explaining or justifying their prerogative. This can be done once: clearly I am the adult, and not only is it my responsibility to guide your development, but, because I have been where you are and understand your situation--mainly frustration at not getting what you want--it is I, not you, who are in a position to make the right decisions. Period. Indeed, this doesn't even have to be said once. Children understand, with or without realizing it, that Mom and Dad know better than they do.
So any sort of "talk" is not only superfluous but may obscure what has happened, namely that the child has done something wrong and the parent wants it stopped. Furthermore, if you talk, the child talks and the lesson is diluted.
Even worse is for the parent to get emotional about disciplining the child. It's your job, do it and don't get worked up about it because discipline is just a technique in the larger socialization process. If you allow yourself to become emotional, you muddy up the waters and detract from the business at hand.
Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic technique works and is easy to learn and implement.Read more ›
The Contents include:
Straight Thinking - A section about how to stop negative behavior and start good behavior. He also presents the two biggest discipline mistakes.
Controlling Obnoxious Behavior - What to do when negative behavior occurs in public. How to handle tantrums and pouting.
No Child Will Thank You - Deals with serious offenses and the six kinds of testing and manipulation.
Encouraging Good Behavior - 7 Start Behavior Tactics, Cleaning Rooms, Mealtimes, Homework, The Family Meeting.
Strengthening Your Relationship - Your Child's Self-Esteem, Overparenting, Affection and Praise, Active listening.
I was amused by the information on "parental temper tantrums." I've seen parents yell at their kids and seen children reel from the verbal abuse. Then I've seen parents lovingly talk to a child about their behavior. Guess which works? How would you want to be treated? If frustration has reached the level where parents are yelling and kids are crying their eyes out daily, something must not be working. This book provides excellent advice and a three-step solution to every problem. Phelan has an interesting take on spankings and he makes an excellent point or two on page 53. He suggests that parents avoid the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit routine.Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
I love this book! The author stresses a fair and responsible method of discipline. To the reviewer who claimes the author suggests spanking - you have clearly not read the book. Read morePublished on July 25 2012 by VancouverMom
This is great book. I love it. The seller is great and shipping is fast than I thought. It is nice condition.Published on Sept. 12 2011 by Sue
I really have a problem with the control aspect of this type of parenting. Time outs and seclusion are not an OK thing to do when it comes to my children. Read morePublished on April 15 2005 by DreamyDeppMama
Hey, I must admit it, I really like this book. My wife ordered it (along with "Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture" - Gaskill) and passed... Read morePublished on Nov. 20 2004 by Jefferson
Imagine being very angry at your friend and they in turn say to you as you express yourself.. "that's one"...you continue to express your angry... Read morePublished on May 22 2004 by PonyPal
This discipline method worked beautifully with my children. I also had my husband and babysitter read the book so we were consistent. Read morePublished on April 19 2004
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