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Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse Paperback – Sep 11 1991
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"Partners can now feel supported and guided in their quest for healing--for themselves and for those they love and cherish."--Dan Sexton, Childhelp, U.S.A
About the Author
Laura Davis is the author of The Courage to Heal Workbook, Allies in Healing, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, and I Thought We'd Never Speak Again. She teaches writing and lives with her family in Santa Cruz, California.
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Top Customer Reviews
The question and answer format makes it very user friendly. Read it cover to cover, or just pick it up when you feel puzzled.
As the author suggests, I read it first and found that it gave me words to explain some topics that I thought I'd never be able to express. Sharing this book with my fiance was not easy. But it drew us closer together and opened the door for wonderfully insightful discussion. It also gave me insight into what it is like for someone in a relationship with me. I learned to be more patient and compassionate. Understanding the after effects of childhood molestation are not simple or easy, not just for me, but also for my partner.
I love that Davis very forthrightly says that while not every relationship will thrive, there are wonderful benefits to being with a survivor. The partner is encouraged NOT to rescue or "fix" but rather to respect and grow with the survivor, perhaps even getting more in touch with their own wounded inner child and most importantly to get support for themselves.
For anyone who is an ally of a survivor, this should be in your collection for sure! I turn to it again and again just as I do my now ragged copy of The Courage to Heal. It is not for the timid however. One should be serious about their relationship before sharing this book.
Written in straightforward question and answer format by one of the authors of the best-selling Courage To Heal, Allies in Healing covers topics ranging from dealing with emotions (your own included) to confronting the perpetrator to sexuality.
Allies In Healing also includes the personal stories of a few partners of survivors. Written frankly, the book admits that not all relationships with survivors are destined for success, but also speaks of the incredible benefits of such a relationship.
For anyone who is a loved one or partner of a survivor should turn to this book first- it is the companion to Courage To Heal and will provide many answers to some of the most pressing questions.
A partner would be much better served by Ken Graber's Ghosts in the Bedroom, followed by a reading of Courage to Heal (if only to learn what the survivor is probably being told). Incidentally, Graber's book is listed in the back of Allies in Healing, but the description hardly does the book justice.
Most recent customer reviews
Purchased for family member. One of the better books on the subject that gives insights as to how one can better help a loved one by first caring for themselves. Two thumbs up!Published 12 months ago by Hugh
I am a survior who is also an ally in healing. This book is quite good in helping you to help others. It is written by one of the authors of Courage in Healing. Read morePublished on Dec 20 2001 by Michaela Klein
I'm a sibling incest survivor, and this book really helped my husband understand what I went through. I'd highly recommend it to the partner of anyone who was sexually abused.Published on Nov. 27 2001
Having been a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I'm sure that the author is well versed in how it feels to be abused. Read morePublished on April 20 2001
This book has a pro-survivor slant. Don't expect great sympathy or support for your desire to be sexually active with your partner, or to hear how your partner is responsible for... Read morePublished on March 14 2001 by J. Morris
This book was suggested to me by my husband's counselor. The format is easy to read, no plowing through chapter by chapter. Remember though, this was written by a survivor. Read morePublished on Dec 12 2000
When your lovers past is so upseting that you are to the point of loosing it. Or dealing with what happend is killing both of you and your relationship. Read morePublished on Sept. 29 2000
I am very familar with the work of Ms. Davis and her counter part, Ms. Bass. Collectively they have done significant damage to the field of trauma treatment with their... Read morePublished on May 31 2000
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