Better by Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong Hardcover – Mar 17 2011
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"Better By Mistake is a fascinating and wide-ranging exploration of the deeply human phenomenon of screwing up. With Alina Tugend as your wise (and wise-cracking) guide, you'll learn why perfection is a myth, why apologies pack power, and why effort is often more important than results. And once you've finished this book, you'll never look at mistakes -- or yourself -- the same way."
-Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind
"Oh what a jewel of a book this is! Read it, smile, learn, be surprised, then rejoice in your newly found power of imperfection. Glory in your foibles, rejoice in your mistakes, knowing that if you will but embrace what you may have wanted to deny or avoid, not only will you become more true, you will also grow both in strength and in joy."
-Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of CrazyBusy and Driven to Distraction
"The research presented in Better by Mistake is refreshingly clear and often surprising. Read it and find out why Japanese teachers allow students to spend twelve minutes or more explaining their wrong answer to a math problem, why posting grades for all to see is an example of a healthy understanding of the cyclical nature of time and why praise lowers ambition. This book is fascinating, practical and fun."
-Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
"Alina Tugend is a terrific reporter, one who knows how to guide her readers through complex issues that matter."
-Daniel Coyle, author of The Talent Code
About the Author
Alina Tugend has been a journalist for more than 25 years. She earned a bachelor's degree at U.C. Berkeley and a Masters of Studies of Law at Yale Law School. She has written about education, environmentalism, and consumer culture for numerous publications including The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, the Atlantic, American Journalism Review, the Chronicle of Higher Education, Child, and Parents among others. Since 2005, she has written the bi-weekly consumer column “Shortcuts” for the New York Times business section. She lives in Larchmont, NY, with her husband, their two sons and two cats.
Top Customer Reviews
There are netter books on Lessons Learned etc...
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
For example chapters 4 and 5 were on medical mistakes and aviation mistakes respectively. While the information in them about how those industries deal with mistakes might be interesting, how are either of those relevant to "The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong"? By her own account the aviation industry is incredibly safe and so a whole chapter on how it became safer seems irrelevant to the topic of her book. Is the airline industry "Better by Mistake"?
Chapter 6 is on the topic of gender differences. This chapter was confusing to me. First of all much of it is irrelevant to the topic of her book and just seems to be a way to slip into publication her view that gender differences are exaggerated. She goes on and on about the difference in the way men and women react to mistakes while seeming to want to minimize gender differences. I finished the chapter thinking huh?
Chapter 7 is on cultural differences. It's actually interesting but once again it is tangential to the alleged topic of the book. Both on cultural and gender differences she repeatedly plays politically correct by claiming no way is more right than another, but then I have ask what was the point all the discussion? Pointing out all the different ways people respond to mistakes and saying they all have advantages and disadvantages ends up just being banal.
Chapter 8 is on apologies. Once again there is some interesting analysis here and it wasn't boring to read. But if one assumes that the mistake requires an apology, how are we "better" by having made it? Who wins? We may be better for having made an apology but the logic that says we are better for having made a mistake that needs an apology just seems wrong to me.
This was not a bad book, but I believe the title is seriously misleading and caused me to buy a book that quite frankly is not what I was looking for. It's not practical and just raises more questions than it answers. You would think I would have given it one star as a result. Like I said, it is not a bad book and if what I describe here is what you are looking for then by all means go for it. If you are looking for practical advice on how to let yourself or others become "Better by Mistake", then I think you should skip it.
This is a unique book and Tugend surveys a panoply of subject matter looking at mistakes from various perspectives including aviation, medicine, and gender. However, despite its rich content, I cannot recommend the book. My disinclination is due primarily to form rather than substance. The books is, well... boring; I had to force myself through nearly every chapter. (By way of full disclosure I should inform the reader that I have written a book on combustion modeling, so this is perhaps the pot calling the kettle black.) The tough slogging was a bit surprising because Tugend is a former newspaper reporter, and one would expect snappy or even Hemingway-esque prose from such an author; alas, that is not the case. It is also possible that I suffer from some of the gender bias in processing information that Tugend describes; shopping is not an journey for me, it is a destination. That is also the way I read factual books, and probably the reason I have never written a murder mystery -- the executive summary would read: "the butler did it; see Figure 1" followed by 500 pages of notes. The reason I am being so self-descriptive here is because I want the reader to understand the psychology of my aversion to this book. If you have a different way of processing information then you may enjoy the ride. Certainly there is something to be learned from reading Better by Mistake, but for me it just wasn't worth 300 pages of effort.
This is an excellent book. Not only is it well-written and well-researched, but the narration flows smoothly, and the research is incorporated easily and unobtrusively.
In seventeen pages in half the font size of the text, she includes a wonderful and quite extensive set of notes. Her bibliography, in the same reduced font size, extends for eleven pages.
Tugend truly knows what she is talking about, and not only does she offer examples with which all readers can identify, whether it is in raising children, in the workplace, medicine, aviation, genders, cultures, or individually, her insights and conclusions are on the mark.
I have used the research (the five dimensions) that Geert Hofstede, the Dutch psychologist, "has done over the years to identify and explain variations among societies" (p. 203), in my textbook, Communicating Effectively, 10th ed. (McGraw-Hill, 2012) for many years, and I was pleased to see Tugend's endorsement of them. She said, "Nonetheless [despite his dimensions being "critiqued for failing to take into account minority societies within a dominant culture" (p. 205)], his work has proved very useful, and has withstood the test of time, in helping understand important cultural differences" (p. 205).
His examples of Hofstede's dimensions are clear and helpful, and I plan to use one of them (with permission, of course), as a "Consider This" box or as an "Active Open-Mindedness," or "Another Point of View" supplementary box. That is how good her material is.
I also appreciated Tugend's continual reminders about how we (her readers) can successfully deal with mistakes, or how they can be dealt with in the various areas she writes about. In her "Conclusion," she summarizes her advice by saying, "We all make our share of those [a faux pas or blunder], and that's okay also. But if we can all forgive ours and others' errors more often, if we can acknowledge that perfection is a myth and that human beings screw up on a regular basis--and we can either simply feel bad about it and find someone to accuse or learn from it--then swe are on the right track. Make no mistake about it" (p. 252).
This book is a "must read" for everyone. There are "unexpected benefits of being wrong" that all people need to read.
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