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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself Paperback – Sep 1 1986

4.6 out of 5 stars 141 customer reviews

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 250 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 2nd edition (1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0894864025
  • ISBN-13: 978-0894864025
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 13.3 x 21.6 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 381 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars 141 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #10,038 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

Review

In Newsweek magazine, Dr. Drew Pinsky named Melody Beattie's Codependent No More one of the four essential self-help books available today, calling it the "grandaddy of addiction tomes."

"Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon....She understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift."
--TIME

About the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children and freelance author and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs."There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back.Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Audio CD Verified Purchase
Some of it is good, especially disc 7. This woman sounds very angry. She makes an assumption that because someone lives with an alcoholic, they themselves are in all likelihood alcoholic, down and out, pitifully needy human beings that cannot accomplish anything in life. You may as well throw away disc 6 as it is a complete write-off and very hard to listen to. As a former drug addict and alcoholic I can probably see why she thinks that way. Her recommendation is to join an al-anon group or some other of dozens of similar groups. Other than that I don't think she offers much up in the way of advice except to look to God for redemption. Her book was of little consolation.
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By A Customer on May 16 2004
Format: Paperback
I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually break the cycle. I certainly won't say that all of your problems will be solved with this book, but it is a step in the right direction. It certainly worked for me.
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Format: Paperback
For many years, I was in a completely codependent relationship and did not know how to break out of it. Then I figure a way out on my own. At least I thought I did... but what happened was that I just changed the people around me and the relationships were essentially the same. After reading this great book, I finally stopped blaming other people for my relatioship problems and began looking into myself. It was then that my life really began to make a positive change. I then read another excellent book called, "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and I began seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It provided me the motivation to move on from my codependent relationships. It is a tough thing to deal with your own issues inside but it is the only way out and the only way to real happiness. Are you ready to do some real work and step out of your own misery? If your answer is yes, I recommend these books to you.
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Format: Paperback
So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse.
Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes.
If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency.
Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"?
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Format: Paperback
CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the best self help book I have ever read. It gives a clear insight on how to deal with all types of feelings such as fear, despair, depression, and anger. First the book reveals how to process these feelings rather than deny them and then how to move on to feelings like love, joy, fulfillment, and just feeling okay about yourself in general by giving your life a new spiritual meaning. This book also promotes a healthy relationship with yourself and others by teaching the reader how to take care of himself/herself and create happiness rather than attempting to achieve martyrdom by resenting and controlling others which ultimately manifests into depression and anger. In her private life, the author has moved from an alcoholic and drug addict, a rape victim, a prostitute/stripper, and finally a welfare recipient to a well adjusted best-selling author and a spiritual advisor. Her life itself is a miracle. She has a way of passing the magic and the spiritual techniques that she used to transform her own life to the lives of her readers. I have read all of her books and I recommend them all. I read her meditation book THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO daily with my morning coffee. CODEPENDENT NO MORE is a wonderful book...I couldn't put it down, because I kept relating my own behavior and the kind of life I wanted to live to every page...You'll love it.
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