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The Conception Chronicles: The Uncensored Truth About Sex, Love & Marriage When You're Trying to Get Pregnant Paperback – Jun 1 2005

5.0 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 296 pages
  • Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (June 1 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0757302386
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757302381
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.7 x 21.6 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 408 g
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #284,975 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

About the Author

After battling infertility for three years, Patty Doyle Debano just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She lives in Connecticut with her husband Scott and their slightly overweight golden retriever.

Courtney Edgerton Menzel is the mother of a daughter, five and a son, three. She lives in Chicago with her husband Dan and manages to balance the demands of motherhood and a full time career - thanks to a variety of take-out menus.

Shelly Dicken Sutphen is the mother of a "spirited" three year old daughter. She lives in San Diego with her husband Bruce and surprisingly has the energy to try for number two.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

When you first started down the baby-making road, you were in a dead sprint and filled with optimism. Not realizing you were getting a bit ahead of yourself, you started making elaborate plans as to how you would announce your husbandÆs pending fatherhood. Trips to the mall included a special detour to check out the latest maternity fashions, and you secretly started making a list of the must-have items for spring for those sporting a bulging belly.

Now that youÆve dipped into the bag of ovulation tricks and are actively using your tool of choice but still have nothing to show for it, you are starting to feel winded. How much longer is this going to take? You flash back to ninth grade and hear the droning voice of your algebra teacher, ôIf you are thirty-five years old and ovulate once a month, what is the probability you will have a child by age thirty-seven?ö As if thatÆs not enough, you take your calculations to the next level to determine how quickly youÆll have to get pregnant again to have your second child before you hit forty.

The frazzled frenzy of age versus fertility can leave anyone feeling a bit overwhelmed. ItÆs time for a reality check. No, it doesnÆt look like youÆll be one of those lucky women whose pregnancy is a ôsurprise,ö but you are also a far cry from birthing the first human clone. From all your research, you know most doctors recommend a woman consult her physician after trying to conceive for a year (if sheÆs under thirty-five) or after six months (if sheÆs over thirtyfive). YouÆre not there yet, so donÆt panic. Dust yourself off, shake off the past monthsÆ disappointments and get back to businessùitÆs time for Operation Ovulation!

Preoperative Work: Getting the Goods
Operation Ovulation begins the minute the red flag of failure arrives. Once again, itÆs time for a trip to the pharmacy to pick up the monthly care package: one large box of tampons, two boxes of ovulation kits, two boxes of pregnancy tests.

In the early days of Operation Ovulation, you probably approached the checkout register rather sheepishly and tried to camouflage your conception care package by piling on all sorts of unnecessary merchandiseùPringles variety pack, every possible flavor of Twizzlers, mango body scrub and a veritable collection of celebrity rags. Buying junk food and junk journalism is probably no less embarrassing, but somehow it manages to mask the awkwardness.

Now that you are a more seasoned veteran, you have mapped out a strategy for each month. Selecting the proper retail outlet is the crucial first step. In the old days, you loved the small local pharmacy because everyone knew your name, and more than once the pharmacist questioned your choice of over-the-counter cough medicine. When it comes to Operation Ovulation, however, anonymity is key! YouÆve scouted out the county and found one of those superstores that could double as an airport terminal with the most apathetic, disinterested, least customer-friendly pharmacy within a twenty-mile radius. Perfect!

Once all the goods are collected, itÆs time to check out. Not too fast! Take a moment to scan all the cashiers. YouÆre looking for the most disgruntled (preferably male) cashier. Your ideal checker will have a dirty, rumpled uniformùa sure sign his probation officer made him take the job. Jackpot! Now just slink through the line without making eye contact or starting any small talk, and youÆre home free, at least for another month.

There was a month Patty was certain she was pregnant. Unfortunately, this happened almost every month, but this one month in particular she was really convinced, so she decided it was time to take a pregnancy test. She didnÆt have any in the house, so she ran out to the local pharmacy. Patty grabbed a pregnancy test and headed straight for the checkout line without any thought. Ironically, there was a five-foot poster declaring the storeÆs commitment to the ôPrivacy Actö posted at the register. It turned out her cashier was a sweet older immigrant woman. With a thick Polish accent, she screamed, "CongratulationsùBaby!ö Humiliated and terrified that she may actually know someone in the long line behind her, Patty tried to explain she wasnÆt sure if she was pregnant, which is why she needed the test. Unfortunately, her explanation was lost in translation, and the cashier sadly replied, ôYou no happy with baby?ö Patty didnÆt have the energy to explain she would be out of her mind with happiness if she were in fact pregnant, but she had been taking these tests for months and not one had been positive. Instead, she just said, ôYes, IÆm very happy to be pregnant,ö and never went back to that store again.

¬ 2005. All rights reserved. Reprinted from The Conception Chronicles: The Uncensored Truth About Sex, Love & Marriage When YouÆre Trying to Get Pregnant Patty Doyle Debano, Courtney Edgerton Menzel, Shelly Dicken Sutphen. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I bought this book after a year of trying to get pregnant. By this time I feel that I could describe female reproductive anatomy better than my doctor. This book was great. It didn't give a ton of facts about "how to get pregnant", just more the journey that some people have to go through to get pregnant.

I most valued the emotions that described in the book. It made me feel that although what I'm doing is crazy and perhaps irrational, I'm not alone and there are thousands of other women going through the same thing.

It also outlined the possible hurdles that I might have to jump over and the procedures that might be in the future.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Hilarious and so accurate
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9d274a38) out of 5 stars 65 reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d21e5c4) out of 5 stars If you've been trying with no success, read this book! Jan. 19 2006
By Nash Mom - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
After reading this book, I realized that I have not gone crazy on my failed road to conception. The authors get it right on every emotion one feels as they try unsuccessfully month after month. While Taking Charge of your Fertility is the best in terms of determining ovulation and how to chart, Conception Chronicles is a great read to help you see that you are not alone and that your crazy emotions are very normal. It also includes details on what type of tests to expect if you go to a fertility specialist. Highly Recommend if you have been trying with no success and are getting very frustrated. This will give you some laughs as they describe emotions you have had yourself.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d42d324) out of 5 stars I just finished this book July 20 2006
By A. Lee - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I just finished this book and wanted to check out what others thought and was surprised that there were people who hated this book so much. First of all, I have to remind these folks that this book is not supposed to be a medical book about infertility. Nothing about this book, from its cover design to the book description indicates that it is a medical reference or how-to book. Granted, I picked this book up at B&N and flipped through it first before purchasing it, that's why I don't feel duped by the contents in this book. I feel this this book is funny, original, interesting, and has plenty of good advice and descriptions of fertility treatment procedures. It's meant to be subjective and lighthearted. And for those of you going through torturous fertility treatments, it's understandable that this book will seem like it's making fun of the situation, but I don't think that that was what the authors intended to do. Anyway, this book is perfect for those that have an open mind, have been trying to conceive for no more than six months, and have a sense of humor.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d25e498) out of 5 stars The best companion for anyone trying to get pregnant Jan. 7 2006
By K. Kimball - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This book is great whether you have been trying to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years or 2 1/2 months. It's not a medical guide but a surprising insight into how many other people actually feel the same way you do. I was amazed and comforted by the fact that every emotional stage my husband and I have gone through were shared by others. A wonderful and eye opening read!!
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d25e8d0) out of 5 stars A Much Needed Laugh Oct. 23 2005
By Fresh-O - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
After all the stress that infertility has brought on, it was good to get a break from it and read this book! I wasn't finding anything funny about infertility. But, I had to laugh at the Angry Ovulator (it was the perfect description of me) Also, I think I needed to step back and put it all in perspective. I was wound so tightly that I couldn't see that I was viewing pregnant friends as foes and obsessing over every detail. It helped to hear that other women are like me. I still am anxious and obssesive over having a baby. But, now when I turn into the Angry Ovulator I can look at myself and laugh - a little bit. I don't think anyone will get the medical info they need from this book. But, it is a story of friendship and understanding in the midst of infertility madness.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9d2359c0) out of 5 stars If you are trying to cope, then this is for you.... May 13 2006
By C. Chisholm - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
If you are trying to cope with the frustration of not being able to conceive, then this is a great book for you. It provides some much needed levity to a situation that can really be stressful, painful and disappointing. It is not a hands-on medical book, like TCOYF is (and others). Its more about coping with the REAL emotions involved with not being able to conceive and dealing with a world around you that makes it look so incredibly easy. I reccomend it to any woman who has been trying to conceive for more than 6 months. Its at that 6 month point that you really need to re-gain your sense of humor!