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Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe: Working Through Social Anxiety Paperback – Jan 2000

4.8 out of 5 stars 167 customer reviews

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 375 pages
  • Publisher: Effectiveness-Plus Pubns (January 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0967126509
  • ISBN-13: 978-0967126500
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 15.2 x 22.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 544 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars 167 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #242,807 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

From Library Journal

Social anxiety disorder or social phobia (SA/SP), the intense, and incapacitating fear of social interaction, is the third most common psychiatric disorder (after depression and alcoholism). Dayhoff, a social psychologist, author (How To Win in a Tough Job Market), and lecturer who has overcome SA/SP herself, has written a comprehensive self-help guide for sufferers. Dayhoff reviews current research and theories about the origin of SA/SP, but her focus here is on practical ways to recover. She presents step-by-step plans for learning social skills for conversation, dating, job hunting, and networking; gives concise and clear information on such issues as how to access professional help, what to expect during the first session, and what happens in group therapy; outlines the benefits and pitfalls of medication; discusses complimentary therapies; and offers suggestions for finding financial assistance and social support. She also provides a list of resources. SA/SP sufferers and their friends and relatives will find this book helpful. Recommended for popular psychology collections in public and consumer health libraries.
-Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.


"Diagonally-Parked in a Parallel Universe will be a significant addition to my professional library. Dr. Dayhoff includes research and practical information about every aspect of social anxiety. My colleagues and I are especially grateful for the chapters on blushing, sweating, and physiological symptoms. We've been looking for this kind of complete information for a long time. As a communication coach who frequently works with clients who have fears and anxiety, I appreciate Dr. Dayhoff's work enormously. Congratulations!" -- Laurie Schloff, Director, Executive Training, The Speech Improvement Company, Boston, MA

"Dr. Dayhoff has done a remarkable job researching the current literature on social anxiety and its disorder. The text is well-written and comprehensive and I enjoyed the use of humor. I hope this book will help people suffering from this debilitating disorder to come out of the closet." -- Stefan G. Hofmann, Ph.D., Director, Social Phobia Program, Boston University

"Finally here's a book that deals with social anxiety from the insider's perspective on this long-neglected anxiety problem. Because Dr. Dayhoff has lived through social anxiety herself, she is able to comprehensively cover both the personal concerns of sufferers and current research and treatment options. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand and work toward overcoming social anxiety." -- Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D., Director, Anxiety Clinic of Arizona

* "Dr. Dayhoff's book blows the lid off of SA/SP. Other books on the topic have been research and treatment-oriented. This compelling and insightful volume takes us into the 'belly of the beast.' Through her own first-person accounts and her interviews with hundred of fellow SA/SP sufferers, she gives us a long-overdue understanding of the often debilitating, misunderstood (this isn't about just being shy) nature of SA/SP. ...Her book delivers the empathetic guidance and key strategies vital to recovery. It also gives family and friends the tools necessary to assist in this recovery process." -- - Carleton W. Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW, nationally-known family therapist, Medfield, MA

* "I love the title! I very much like Dr. Dayhoff's tone in 'speaking' to her readers and what she has done!" -- - Richard G. Heimberg, Ph.D., editor of Social Phobia: Diagnosis, Assessment, and Treatment, Director, Social Phobia Program, Temple University

* "I'm delighted that Dr. Dayhoff is taking what we know about social anxiety/social phobia to the public." -- - Mark R. Leary, Ph.D., author of Social Anxiety, Psychology Dept., Wake-Forest University

* "Signe Dayhoff combines the best of both worlds - the knowledge and expertise of the professional and the insight and understanding of the consumer and communicates these strengths to her reader. As an ex social phobia, Dr. Dayhoff's empathy and her understanding of the struggles of the person with social phobia shine through in every chapter. The reader...will benefit from the warmth...combined with the most up-to-date expert knowledge. This is a winning recipe." -- - Ronald M. Rapee, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, Macquairie University, Australia, author of Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step by Step Guide

* "This book is a must-read to gain a better perspective on understanding both yourself and your relationships with others. It is not just for those with social anxiety disorder. I like how Dr. Dayhoff holds your hand at each step of the process, explains everything in detail, describes, and simplifies. The title really captures the problem we've all experienced to some degree."

- Dan Perlman, Ph.D., Professor of Family Studies, University of British Columbia

* "Enlightening, helpful. A wonderful blend of information about social anxieties and practical suggestions for overcoming them. Signe Dayhoff's been there, conquered these anxieties herself, studied them, and compassionately worked to help others overcome them. She now engagingly puts her wisdom and advice together to help others help themselves." -- - Rhonda L. Fallk, Ph.D., Counseling Psychologist, Clarks Summit, PA

* "This is a highly readable book and gives good concrete examples and exercises. I particularly like the part about how to find a suitable therapist or treatment setting. That can be a real challenge for shy people. I am happy to endorse this book." -- - Lynne Henderson, Ph.D., Director, The Shyness Clinic, Menlo Park, CA

* "[Dr. Dayhoff] has done an excellent job of anxiety, and [her] book will be valuable to both therapists and self-help readers. I definitely recommend it." -- - Albert Ellis, Ph.D., President, Albert Ellis Institute for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book is SO on the money! The author is a psychologist who recovered from SP after suffering with it for 22 years so she knows what she is talking about. Even Dr. Richard Heimberg a well-known SP clinician and researcher and author gives it high marks.
The book is about SP from EVERY angle. This makes the condition and how it affects us SPs really understandable. I totally identified with the indepth examples and stories. The author shows what SP looks like from the inside and outside and details SPs struggle with every day they live under the SP cloud.
She spends 11 chapters out of 15 (it's a big book - 400 pages) guiding you through working on the three components of SP - physical symptoms, thinking problems, and avoidant behavior. Only then does she talk about how to be more socially effective for those who feel they are not and want to be. I think this is so helpful because I had rusty social skills and had no self-confidence to use them but would never have attempted them until I had my fear under better control.
After you learn the basics first, you are ready to work on advanced skills, like becoming more confident and effective in other areas of your life. This helped me begin to meet people and look for a better job. She offers readers a social effectiveness menu you can choose from based upon what you think you need. So you get to customize your work with different social skills to what you need. This is because the author believes "one size does not fit all".
I worked with this book on my own which helped alot and then with my therapist who recommends it to her SP patients. I refer to it often and still enjoy the humor the author placed here and there.
If you have ANY anxiety in ANY social situations, you can only HELP yourself by getting this book.
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Format: Paperback
I was amazed to learn that EVERYTHING you do changes your brain chemistry. When you feel happy or do something nice for someone, you increase serotonin and dopamine which makes you feel less anxious and depressed. When you feel sad, anxious or like a failure, the amount of serotonin and dopamine drops and you feel bad. When you think positive or negative thoughts, you change your chemistry too. How you think, feel and behave is important to how anxious you feel.
This really got me thinking. After I read this book, I checked out some of the references in the back of the book to find out more about this. There have been lots of studies to show that changing your thoughts in a programmatic way to more positive can make a big difference in the amounts of anxiety reducing brain chemicals that are present. So if changing how you respond to life reduces social anxiety, popping pills is NOT the only answer.
I want to permanently change the thoughts that make me anxious but I know now that some people may prefer taking pills for years. The book says specifically that "one size does not fit all". That is why the author gives you so many different things to try and different ways to look at things because each of us is different. I liked being able to customize the treatment suggestions to me.
This author really knows about social anxiety and gives you all the things you need to start getting better. It is a great book for use with or without a therapist and with or without drugs. Its primary concern is what works best for you as an individual to reduce your social anxiety.
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Format: Paperback
I have been reading a lot of self-help literature lately and have passed thru most of the classics, from Dale Carnegie to Maxwell Maltz and others. I tried stuff like "Feeling Good", "Learned Optimist" and many others. This little book with the tacky cover stands out when it comes to the social anxiety aspects. I've always felt too shy and sometimes too pessimistic. That sparked my urge to search for motivational titles and anything that could help. Some are interesting, others plain useless. This book however felt different. For a start, it is not full of padding. I actually managed to get some content out of every page. Plus, it's not full of self-promotion, does not mention seminars, previous books, etc. It feels as if the author is primarily interested in passing the content, something that isn't always felt.
But the biggest advantage is perhaps the "Wow, this is me" feeling I got while reading it. Anyone who has been feeling "shy" for most of their life should consider taking a look at this. The book covers a lot of aspects in life, including work ,dating, job interviews, etc, but in general, the biggest advantage to me was getting to understand myself better.
It will explain you very well why you behave the way you do. The flaws? Well, it covers many possible ways to approach your thoughts and improve, but unfortunately, it is more effective at explaining you what's going on than at helping you solve it. There are no clear methods, no programs, no suggestions. The author tells you about several possible ways to deal with issues and lets you try things for yourself. Once you understand how you think, you can define your own tactic.
I find this a drawback in a way, but not totally.
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