Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing Paperback – Jan. 19 2010
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- Item Weight : 454 g
- Paperback : 352 pages
- ISBN-13 : 978-0061863264
- ISBN-10 : 0061863262
- Product Dimensions : 15.57 x 2.24 x 23.5 cm
- Publisher : William Morrow Paperbacks (Jan. 19 2010)
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #101,385 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
From the Inside Flap
Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.
DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.--Richard A. Gardner, M. D., clinical professor of child psychiatry, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, author of The Parental Alienation Syndrome
Top reviews from Canada
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Whether you suspect that divorce poison may just be starting or have a full blown case and have been estranged from your children for some time, this book can help you. It may be particularly useful for parents who refuse to play the kind of dirty pool their ex is playing with the children, but end up suffering the loss or diminishing of a relationship with their children as a result of taking the high ground. The sad irony with divorce poison is that it is the parent who tries to take the high ground and not turn the kids against their ex who suffers the most. The good news in this book is that you do not have to fight fire with fire -- there is a way out of the labyrinth of smoke and mirrors that your ex may have set up for your kids -- and you can find reasonable ways to help your kids reconnect with you, no matter how estranged they seem. I have used several of the techniques and advice in this book and it has resulted in an improvement in my own relationship with my daughters, whose respect and care for me their father has been eroding for years, to the point of serious issues and fractured relationships. Within a short amount of time of reading the book and employing the various techniques and suggestions I have seen distinct and very positive results.
Unlike an earlier review stated, the advice of this book is not just that you need therapists and high priced lawyers. It is helpful regardless of your budget and means to seek help. If you feel your relationship with your kids is in a downward spiral that you did not cause, then you need this book. It is so helpful in getting past getting caught up in the emotional drama such that you can take a more measured and guided approach that will allow you to have more perspective and step up your game in a way that will likely be far more successful.
In a nutshell, I would recommend Divorce Poison to anyone with kids who is going through an antagonistic divorce. This book can be a life saver for those willing to do the work. While many think that this is an issue that fathers deal with, as a mother I can say that divorce poison is something I suffered from for years, and I only wish I found this book sooner. In fact, much of the advice and many techniques in this book would also be beneficial pre-divorce, for people stuck in a toxic relationship where their spouse is effectively undermining them to their kids. For ladies out there trying to separate from men whose personalities may fall under the narcissistic or (even slightly) psychopathic/Machiavellian umbrella, to the point of engaging your children in their will to dominate or negate you, then you really need to read this book to start taking the steps needed to help you and your children get free and clear of that kind of brainwashing, programming and mental/emotional abuse.
I really wish someone had told me about this book years ago.
Absolutely, unequivocally recommended if you are anticipating or are unfortunately in a high conflict divorce and you've got kids.
It is both reassuring and utterly depressing to know that what my family has gone through has happened to many others. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through but the book has been helpful so far.
Top reviews from other countries
I bought it to help me help my kids get thru a bitter divorce. He had started making un acceptable comments to them since we split up. Was shocked and humbled to find some of the types of hurt, I too was guilty of inflicting on our kids, without even realising it. For this reason alone I would say, if your buying to prepare for a bitter maipulative Ex partner, be aware that it could also apply to you!
This book was recommended to me by a member of FNF, and I can confirm that, at the moment, this is probably the best tool you can have against parental alienation. It will alleviate the feeling of helplessness and anger, and provide priceless tips and tools to counter the damaging effects on your child. If you are seeing the symptoms, no matter how minor and seemingly insignificant, get this book before it's too late.